hi guys i have a problem here that i guess is affecting my family relation

i have a brother. well hes a high flyer, went to a top jc n did well for his As n is considering scholarship. CCA record is also good. Went for enlistment n end up being one of the to[ recruits, garanteed a chance to go OCS. Hes getting all the attention from relatives, friends n girls

u guys must be thinking such a high flyer, his brothers shouldnt be that bad right? Well me being the eldest is the exact opposite. I went to Poly, did quite badly n went for wrong course. My NS record isnt fantastic. I am relatively shy, i have speech problems n list goes on.

Well i admit i am jealous n i even sometimes hope my brother do badly for exams. Yes i know i am a b@stard.

I am actually thinking of changing myself. Instead of being jealous and being cold towards my brother, how can i change?

don't be jealous, be inspired..

there are bound to be things you are better than him.. don't feel inferior..

do what you can do with the best of your ability..

what's past is gone.. behold the future

Muhahaha i am the smartest kid in my family

I'm The only One ...My Progress report Get A Lot F9s ... :D

Everybody has their own strengths and weaknesses.

Why cower in the shadow of your brother? Seek out your true calling in life.

Being perfect means there is a high benchmark to meet. Imagine the stress your brother will go through if he fails in any aspect of his life.

Be contented with what you have, work for your dream.

Live for no one else, but yourself.

Originally posted by MidnightK:

don't be jealous, be inspired..

there are bound to be things you are better than him.. don't feel inferior..

do what you can do with the best of your ability..

what's past is gone.. behold the future

ya i know but it seems everything i do, my bro seems to excel in it :P

work harder.

When I was little, my mum kept saying how good my cousins were, got so many scholarships, enter the best uni and jc. top flier. I remember how I begged to ask her to shut up but she refuse.

I was doing worst than you back then, studies was like shit but in the end with my hard work, I earn 3 times more then those so call high flyers.

The secert is that they maybe good in studies but they do not know how to work. If you work 3 times harder then them then you can outshine them.

You had the first step right already...

"You fail to plan, you plan to fail"...

You have already sort of "plan" to change yourself by thinking...

what you need to do now is, to work out the plan and find solutions for it...

Changing an opinion of something which has already stayed in your heart isn't quite a simple task...

But still, at least you know what is the correct path to walk ^^

Cheers

don give a damm about him

just do things ur way, change in ur own style

well done.

'moulding the future of our nation'

certainly did a good job.

now we have siblings rivarly.

i smarter than my bro but he still dotes me

get used to it... it's not something unusual to be jealous of people of better "anything" than oneself in the world...

hmm. be careful with your thought life.

how you think about yourself, will influence your outcome.

what's today's thought will be tomorrow's action

what's today's action will be tomorrow's habit

what's today's habit will be tomorrow's character

and what's today's character will be tomorrow's future

Born to live,

Is your brother the reason why you didn't do well in life ?

Is your brother the reason for all your failures ?

Did your brother steal all your resources such that you have no opportunities to excel ?

You screwed up your own life, why be angry with him ?

Why make him pay for your mistakes in life ?

When are you going to take responsibilities for your own failures and start making it good for YOURSELF ?

He is your brother, shouldn't you be happy for him ? Shouldn't you be supportive of him instead of hoping one day he will fall ?

And so what if he does badly ? Will you do any better ?

It's about time.. you patch up this broken brotherly relationship.

Accept him for who he is and love him as how a brother should.

im eldest too. however i can say tht my situation is the opposite. i try to set a gud example and i think im doing pretty well but my bro is far from expectations.

Originally posted by jojobeach:

Born to live,

Is your brother the reason why you didn't do well in life ?

Is your brother the reason for all your failures ?

Did your brother steal all your resources such that you have no opportunities to excel ?

You screwed up your own life, why be angry with him ?

Why make him pay for your mistakes in life ?

When are you going to take responsibilities for your own failures and start making it good for YOURSELF ?

He is your brother, shouldn't you be happy for him ? Shouldn't you be supportive of him instead of hoping one day he will fall ?

And so what if he does badly ? Will you do any better ?

It's about time.. you patch up this broken brotherly relationship.

Accept him for who he is and love him as how a brother should.

 

 

precisely thats wad i am thinking about, he didnt do anything. its just that i just cant help being hateful n cold towards my bro. he seems to excel in everything he does and i am the exact opposite. being the eldest, i should lead by example, be a role model for my younger brothers to look upon right?

Originally posted by Borntolive.:

precisely thats wad i am thinking about, he didnt do anything. its just that i just cant help being hateful n cold towards my bro. he seems to excel in everything he does and i am the exact opposite. being the eldest, i should lead by example, be a role model for my younger brothers to look upon right?

No, why should you expect your younger brothers to look upon you?

You lead your own life, they lead theirs. What's there to compare ?

What they need is not a successful big brother, what they need is a caring, supportive and loving big brother.

Just because you don't do as well as your younger brother, doesn't mean he cannot love you as a brother and same goes to you.

 Do you think being hateful and cold towards your brother will make your family like you more ? On the contrary my friend. Financial success does not make people like you more, it's your character that is important.

Don't let your jealousy continue to ruin your relationship with your own family. If you want to improve your life, instead of focusing so much hate on your brother, you can channel that energy to upgrading and improving your life.

It is easy to hate, but not so easy to forgive.

Good luck.

imagine next time u go out to work... and yur younger brother is your boss.. what would u do?!?!?

U shud be happy for ur brother.

Ya, be happy for your bro .. Think wat u can do for yourself, solve the problem dun let the problem solve u.

I think what you have here is not rivalry and certainly not jealousy. I think basically you are envying him.

I don't for one single moment would regard you a failure lest you want to feel and regard it that way. In the 1st place you need to love him as your brother, and that love means supporting him as your younger one. Be happy with him when he is successful and be supportive of him when he fails and meets challenging and trying times. Only by learning to love him will you be able to overcome all that negativity that is in you. Remember love and envy cannot co-exist and afterall he is your brother and I am sure he may be performing well in certain areas of his life but I think wisdom can  tell you there are more to come. Then what?

I am sure you are equally an accomplished individual yourself, although some of your aspects' results aren't in the ideal but you have not given up and still did not go about committing crimes and deeds that will grief your loved ones. Doesn't that count as an good example of an elder brother. Not cowaring out when it matters.  You just have not arrive at the outcome which is expected but it does not mean that it never will. Nothing will remain the same unless you want it to. All things will improve. So take heart and learn to love him as a brother. Stop comparing. Being committed to loving others is the secret to overcoming envy and that itself is a success also.

Juz be yourself and do your best..dont compare..sometimes it wld not only not make u stronger but weaker..dun lose ur confidence and do ur best for wadeva u do k :D

People grow envy of somebody success without understanding the amount of suffering/effort that he had to extert behind the scene. I guess what your brother has achieved today isn't like 123 but due to his own effort.

You can similarly achieve anything if you put effort into working towards it. Blame it on yourself for being what you are now, for being lazy :P

 It is great thing that you have a high-flyer brother! Cos you have a fantastic role model to learn from and, as a brother, he will help you when you are in trouble.

Don't take family relationship for granted. They are the closet to you in the world and both of you are supposed to look after each other ass when your parents aren't here anymore.

There's no need to compare with your siblings. A strong feeling to excel better will sometimes sour relationships and disastrous once harm is done. You should feel happy for the success of any member in the family instead. I m sure your brother will feel that way too.

Is a blessing that u have him with you thoughout these years. At least life is not so lonely after all. Just need to do your best in whatever you do and don't lament over unpleasant past. To be brothers this life is a karma from the past whether is good or bad & whether you like it or not. So cherish it.

just curious.. how were his A's?

Count Your Gains - Not Your Losses

As we travel down life’s busy road
Complaining of our heavy load,
We often think God’s been unfair
And gave us much more than our share
Of little daily irritations
And disappointing tribulations.

We’re discontented with our lot
And all the “bad breaks” that we got;
We count our losses ... not our gain,
And remember only tears and pain.
The good things we forget completely
When God looked down and blessed us sweetly.

Our troubles fill our every thought,
We dwell upon the goals we sought;
And wrapped up in our own despair,
We have no time to see or share
Another’s load that far outweighs
Our little problems and dismays.

And so we walk with heads held low,
And little do we guess or know
That someone near us on life’s street
Is burdened deeply with defeat.

And if we’d but forget our care
And stop in sympathy to share,
The burden that our brother carried,
Our minds and hearts would be less harried;
And we would feel our load was small,
In fact, we carried no load at all.

~ Helen Steiner Rice ~