I've been crushing on a guy for a few years .. Is it adnormal? I've read posts which says crush are just infatuation and shouldnt last for so long..

Used to be quite close to him when we were in the same school.. .. After being posted to different schools, i didnt contact him for about 2 years.. During that period of time, i would still think of him occasionally. And one day, i happened to browse to his friendster's account and added him.. And.. since then, added him into MSN and such.. However, i find it hard to talk to him as casually as before.. And this has been going on for quite some time...

I'm someone who doesnt have the courage for confession.. so i just let it be.. Hoping that this feeling would disappear. But now.. Even knowing that he has just attached.. this feeling still stays..

How to get rid of this feeling? >.<

PS: Thanks for reading..

No girl, you are not abnormal.

It's just that you never have the chance to confront this infatuation.

And because it remains in your fantasy, you will carry on with this infatuation until it either blossom into a "real life" relationship or end with a closure, or...

If you choose not to do anything about it......

It is also possible that you carry this infatuation throughout your life and bring it to your grave. Yes, even after you found someone and get married. This feeling you have of him will not die , it will only remain deep in your heart.

Originally posted by jojobeach:

No girl, you are not abnormal.

It's just that you never have the chance to confront this infatuation.

And because it remains in your fantasy, you will carry on with this infatuation until it either blossom into a "real life" relationship or end with a closure, or...

If you choose not to do anything about it......

It is also possible that you carry this infatuation throughout your life and bring it to your grave. Yes, even after you found someone and get married. This feeling you have of him will not die , it will only remain deep in your heart.

Hmmm... the only way to remove this feeling is to confront it? It doesn't sounds good if it remains there forever... confrontation = ?  

Originally posted by display_name_taken:

Hmmm... the only way to remove this feeling is to confront it? It doesn't sounds good if it remains there forever... confrontation = ?  

Well...keeping it isn't a bad thing either.

You'll just be thinking about him for a long long time.. that's all.

Like you.. I used to be infatuated with a boy in my primary school..

Till date.. I do .. still think about him.. occasionally. But the intensity of that crush just fades over time.. but will not dissapear.

I searched for him online.. but to no avail.. my friend told me, she thinks she saw him with his wife and family a few years back.. but she couldn't be sure it was him.

In my heart.. he still reside in a little .. tiny corner... and when I have some time.. I go visit him there...... a sliver of bitter sweet memory .. like a souvenir from a beautiful place..I'd never get to visit again......

If I had .. at the right time.. confessed.. and got rejected.. perhaps.. I will finally be able to have closure.. and eventually forget about him.

Or if he had accepted me.. perhaps.. my path would've been very different.

A thousand possibilites... awaiting for you to unravel... your choice.

But since he is attached now. it's best not to go and "kaciao" him .. because your chances will be very very slim....

Originally posted by jojobeach:

Well...keeping it isn't a bad thing either.

You'll just be thinking about him for a long long time.. that's all.

Like you.. I used to be infatuated with a boy in my primary school..

Till date.. I do .. still think about him.. occasionally. But the intensity of that crush just fades over time.. but will not dissapear.

I searched for him online.. but to no avail.. my friend told me, she thinks she saw him with his wife and family a few years back.. but she couldn't be sure it was him.

In my heart.. he still reside in a little .. tiny corner... and when I have some time.. I go visit him there...... a sliver of bitter sweet memory .. like a souvenir from a beautiful place..I'd never get to visit again......

If I had .. at the right time.. confessed.. and got rejected.. perhaps.. I will finally be able to have closure.. and eventually forget about him.

Or if he had accepted me.. perhaps.. my path would've been very different.

A thousand possibilites... awaiting for you to unravel... your choice.

But since he is attached now. it's best not to go and "kaciao" him .. because your chances will be very very slim....

 

Yea.. I wouldn't be "kaciao-ing" them.. Thanks for your advice!  

PS: He's my primary school classmate... My friends think it's ridiculous to crush for 7 years..

*guilty of using this as an excuse for so long...*

get yourself a bf, and this feeling will go away  

Originally posted by IamDavid:

get yourself a bf, and this feeling will go away  

Want to.. But hard to... Or rather.. scared to? And not easy to find someone that can click well with.. heh...  

Depends on fate? 是你的就是你的，不是你的就不是你的。。

Originally posted by display_name_taken:

I've been crushing on a guy for a few years .. Is it adnormal? I've read posts which says crush are just infatuation and shouldnt last for so long..

Used to be quite close to him when we were in the same school.. .. After being posted to different schools, i didnt contact him for about 2 years.. During that period of time, i would still think of him occasionally. And one day, i happened to browse to his friendster's account and added him.. And.. since then, added him into MSN and such.. However, i find it hard to talk to him as casually as before.. And this has been going on for quite some time...

I'm someone who doesnt have the courage for confession.. so i just let it be.. Hoping that this feeling would disappear. But now.. Even knowing that he has just attached.. this feeling still stays..

How to get rid of this feeling? >.<

PS: Thanks for reading..

wa u so power... crushing the guy...

since he got gf liao then u should wise up and go socio with other guys...

I know is not easy to just get a bf, but still must try la, once you keep trying, that feeling will slowly disappear too

but... i've quite a weird mentality.. is that being with someone else must not have anyone else in your heart.. so... hmmm... it's alright to like 2 people at the same time???  *sounds fickle*  +

think is normal to have another one you like deep inside you... it's alright to like 2 people at one time, but the time will come for you to decide which one you really like  and pls note that your feeling will also change as time change...  

which pri sch u r from? how old r u?

Originally posted by _Justice_:

which pri sch u r from? how old r u

erm... jps.. 19..

It is normal. When you find someone whom you love more, that feeling will disappear.

Hormonal injection seems to be a way.Or time will cure it.

Cos.. it has dragged too long.. and seems like time doesnt cure it... Btw.. is there such thing as hormonal injection? sounds.. dubious..

come to single club i'm sure alot of pple willing to know you one including me

Originally posted by Hanagata:

come to single club i'm sure alot of pple willing to know you one including me

Thanks for invitation...  

*wonder is it because deep inside i dun wish to let go or it has become routine inside me that it is hard to remove...*

I think you should not be bothered by specifics. Just take him as a friend and be casual. It is not an offence to be his friend even if he is attached. The both of you may not end up as husband and wife this lifetime (not confirmed yet) but there is no stopping and/or offense in being good friends.

I felt that you are too conscious and sensitive to speak out, hence you felt a barrier between the both of you. As I write this I am wondering at the same time if your other half might have decided on another gal because you are perceived as uninterested and you are attached. Sounds familiar? All because neither party wanted to initiate.

I am no novelist here and I think you might have mixed feelings here. But I hope that this will be able to see it from another perspective.

Originally posted by aremeis:

I think you should not be bothered by specifics. Just take him as a friend and be casual. It is not an offence to be his friend even if he is attached. The both of you may not end up as husband and wife this lifetime (not confirmed yet) but there is no stopping and/or offense in being good friends.

I felt that you are too conscious and sensitive to speak out, hence you felt a barrier between the both of you. As I write this I am wondering at the same time if your other half might have decided on another gal because you are perceived as uninterested and you are attached. Sounds familiar? All because neither party wanted to initiate.

I am no novelist here and I think you might have mixed feelings here. But I hope that this will be able to see it from another perspective.

Yeah.. i super conscious to talk to him last time.. I dunno what to talk to him when he just broke off with his ex a few years back... kinda feeling regretful... And... "perceived as uninterested" is indeed true as i was waiting for him only..

But now.. i'm still stuck here.. and now... i still couldn't remove that "barrier" in me.. this is making me feeling worse day by day as he is always online nowadays..

Originally posted by display_name_taken:

Yeah.. i super conscious to talk to him last time.. I dunno what to talk to him when he just broke off with his ex a few years back... kinda feeling regretful... And... "perceived as uninterested" is indeed true as i was waiting for him only..

But now.. i'm still stuck here.. and now... i still couldn't remove that "barrier" in me.. this is making me feeling worse day by day as he is always online nowadays..

Then your only option is to wait.

Its normal for you to like him no?

oh i do believe 是你的就是你的，不是你的就不是你的。。

If you don't feel comfortable talking to him, then maybe it isn't the time for u to initiate. 

Anyway It is easy to start a causal conversation. Say hi. Then start the ball rolling. It will slowly gain momentum.