Hello people. this thing has been bothering me for quite sometime.. It goes like this... I'm the youngest at home and i have a super ill- tempered sister. not only ill - tempered but also controlling me. Such as having the " before 12am curfew" and she intrude my privacy by peeping into my handphone all the time.. when i disobey her such as going home after 12am , she will just go crazy and start to whack me up. all the kicks, slaps and scratches. FYI, she is  small in size around 40kg?  while i'm a basketball player. I did not punch her in the face but instead push her aside. After all. i respect her as a sister.

 Next, She dislike my bf because i used to have alot of quarreling issues with him. however, now we've sort things out and are happier than before. But then she continued to be very rude to him and also wanting me to leave him. Even on the day when my grandma passed away, she Insists that he cannot come and pay respect to my grandma and even give excuses saying things like grandma dont wanna see him either. She just want things in her way. she'll never know how the others feel. 

 Now, She create an issue for me and my bf. And it's affecting us alot more. She even want to confiscate my phone so that i cannot contact anyone. I believe that you guys will be wondering where are my parent and what's their reaction.Well, My parent is more relax on me and they always shield me from her vicious attack. And and and i'm 20 this yr.. i feel so uneasy with this life. hai..    

 

 

  

May I ask, does your mother do the same thing to you?

Please remember that you sister loves you & she wants the best for you

How old is your sister, if you don't mind me asking?

yell at her…....

give her a stone cold stunner

stone cold….........lol
isnt it the wrestler?

My mum go rather easy on me. As she believe i am old enough to take care of myself.. My sis is turning 26 this year.

No.

 

I am such a sister.

 

And the only way you can get out of it is to:

 

a) Tells her off and warns her that if she still dares to touch you with kicks and slaps, you have your right to make the police report and sue her in court & get a personal protection order against her.

 

b) Talk to your parents and arrange for the whole family to attend counselling.  The family counselling service number can be obtained from any police station.  Has the whole family attend counselling to teach everyone how to protect themselves as well as grow your sister to understand how unreasonable her actions are.

 

c) Boyfriend issues. Keep away from talking to your bf on the handphone in front of her or within her earshots.

Originally posted by Hanagata:

give her a stone cold stunner

wtf la   

 

Originally posted by viciouskitty74:

No.

 

I am such a sister.

 

And the only way you can get out of it is to:

 

a) Tells her off and warns her that if she still dares to touch you with kicks and slaps, you have your right to make the police report and sue her in court & get a personal protection order against her.

 

b) Talk to your parents and arrange for the whole family to attend counselling.  The family counselling service number can be obtained from any police station.  Has the whole family attend counselling to teach everyone how to protect themselves as well as grow your sister to understand how unreasonable her actions are.

 

c) Boyfriend issues. Keep away from talking to your bf on the handphone in front of her or within her earshots.

My parent give up on her. there is no way talking about it. She will ask you to shut up. She is the so called Queen at home. I've tried everything over the years. Nothing works. I talk to my bf only when she's asleep. And delete all the messages after viewing including received calls. I dun think there is a need to blow up the matter by dealing it in court. It will only tear the family apart. Sueing is definitely out of question.

Ask your parents to threaten to chase her out of the house if she still behave in this way

Originally posted by silverng:

Ask your parents to threaten to chase her out of the house if she still behave in this way

My parent will never chase her out becoz she is their daughter. but anyway. she's getting married at the end of this yr.. But she once told me. I can break free when i am 23..Wat the? 

fight back?? last time i always fight my sister one wor... but then i guy lah... but then last time still small...

but seriously, no need respect one lah... she dun respect u why must u give her respect... anyway she doesn't deserve it..

I mean she is their daughter also.. and our family bonding are quite okay.

Originally posted by pigsticker:

fight back?? last time i always fight my sister one wor... but then i guy lah... but then last time still small...

but seriously, no need respect one lah... she dun respect u why must u give her respect... anyway she doesn't deserve it..

my dad told me no matter what. also cannot fight back.. Coz, Fight Back also wrong. And he knows i wont go easy and fight like a cat. SIAN. Later anything happens then tat's it man... 

 

Perhaps, she didn't want u to go through what she went through during her younger days.

Her past lesson may have resulted her from over controlling of ur personal life.

I believe she doesn't want u to go through what she went through, therefore she is going all out to prevent u from

getting hurt. But,somehow she went over the limit ...

TS,have you trying talking to her? about her past? What have resulted her from over controlling your life?

Anyway, keep this in mind that she is doing all this just because she love you, she dont want her only sis to get hurt.

Tell her that you know everything she did was for ur sake =]

but she over did it.

 

 

 

 

 

why got such sis?

luckily my sis belongs to those weakling category.

if not, one more murder case in sg.

ur parents have passed the control to her.

u should not be living under her tyranny simply becoz she is ur elder sister.

no use toking to her? she will ask u to shut up? ask her to shut up den.. y u so afraid of her? u claimed that she used force on u, yet ur father tells YOU not to retaliate?

even in army, u go by the rule of engagement. do not attack unless u are attacked 1st.. there's no such thing as NO MATTER WHAT one.. she take knife how?

if she cannot be bothered to listen to ur logic, why must u listen to hers? just ignore her and lead ur life.

the next time she's home after 12, lock the door.. give her a taste of her own med..

Originally posted by CfCJ:

my dad told me no matter what. also cannot fight back.. Coz, Fight Back also wrong. And he knows i wont go easy and fight like a cat. SIAN. Later anything happens then tat's it man... 

Eh mine also. My younger sis throws abusive words at me, i got fed up and scold her back then my parents would come and say "She's your only sis lah, forgive and forget." LOL WTF.

You got to tell her off firmly. You got to stand your ground. Tell her she is the elder Ok you respect her, she can yell all she want, but no physical contact, ie no hitting and kicking. Or you will hit back. You must mean it. She is a bully and she acquired this trait because her fierce method always works.

You are grown up now, and cannot be expected to tolerate this kind of bad behaviour from her. Don't take the "Its because she loves you" crap. What she is expressing is not the emotion called love. It is a different emotion all together and is called frustration. She is not getting what she wants. It not your job to find out what's bugging her, its her problem (get her to post it here). Just don't let her take it out on you. It could be some Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or Bipolar Personality, emotional trauma; like bf dump her, or just simply low self esteem.

Tell her off, she ought to respect you too, remember that.

she's being concerned abt u, but too overly.

Maybe things will change after she is married?

Perhaps being dominating is her only way of exerting her identity in the house.

Originally posted by CfCJ:

Hello people. this thing has been bothering me for quite sometime.. It goes like this... I'm the youngest at home and i have a super ill- tempered sister. not only ill - tempered but also controlling me. Such as having the " before 12am curfew" and she intrude my privacy by peeping into my handphone all the time.. when i disobey her such as going home after 12am , she will just go crazy and start to whack me up. all the kicks, slaps and scratches. FYI, she is  small in size around 40kg?  while i'm a basketball player. I did not punch her in the face but instead push her aside. After all. i respect her as a sister.

 Next, She dislike my bf because i used to have alot of quarreling issues with him. however, now we've sort things out and are happier than before. But then she continued to be very rude to him and also wanting me to leave him. Even on the day when my grandma passed away, she Insists that he cannot come and pay respect to my grandma and even give excuses saying things like grandma dont wanna see him either. She just want things in her way. she'll never know how the others feel. 

 Now, She create an issue for me and my bf. And it's affecting us alot more. She even want to confiscate my phone so that i cannot contact anyone. I believe that you guys will be wondering where are my parent and what's their reaction.Well, My parent is more relax on me and they always shield me from her vicious attack. And and and i'm 20 this yr.. i feel so uneasy with this life. hai..    

 

Hi CfCJ,

 

Try as you might, there are times when it's impossible to sustain positive relationships with everyone in our lives, be it friends, lovers or even siblings and your closest kin. Taking a step back and mellowing out may work on some but not on chronic bullies.

I agree with Mancha for the most part. If you've tried hard enough to maintain good sisterly terms and she isn't reciprocal, it's time to stand up for yourself. I'm also in favour of distance from people who are destructive. Blood relation, at times, are merely accidental DNA. Don't go through your days burdened by this.

Are there reasons for her to treat you badly? For instance, sibling rivalry? Are you the favoured child? Tried getting second opinion from your folks?

If you're not quite sure if she means well or she's just pure malice, use your gut. You'll be fine as you get older and as you slowly come to live your own life and learn how to discern between good and bad intentions.

 

Chinese families are usually full of dramas, especially families filled with women folk. Imho, they're almost always the shit stirrers. Me thinks it's prolly the estrogen at work.

Next time she lay her hands on you again, be civil, but tell her you're going to have to defend yourself with force.

This kind of sister usually won't believe you and she'll provoke you with a second attempt. Since you sound like a bit of a softie, don't feel bad about it when the moment comes. Give her a decent wallop and show her you're no pushover.

Unless her anger has a life threatening effect on you, imho, threatening her with a police report is just overused shit stirring method. If and when you do decide to use this measure, be sure to follow up with real action. People take you seriously when you mean what you say. They learn how to treat you with respect when your word counts. It's ugly business but some times it's necessary for your lot in life.

 

No matter how bad it gets, just remember that she's the unfortunate combination here with immaturity, excessive anger and emotional difficulties. And she's most likely going to carry it forward in other aspects of her own life. Time will show many qualities in everyone of us. Don't lose your cool the way she does. 

Ride it out till she gets married. Then continue to keep a distance until she shows signs of remorse.

Just my two cents worth. Take care of yourself babe.

 

As all mothers would say :

"All for your own good u know ?"

CfCj,

It's unfortunate you have such a dysfunctional sister.

How many other siblings do you have ?

While many see her as being "loving".. I beg to differ.

She is invading your privacy and disrespecting you.

There's probably many reasons why she's treating you this way.

I should say.. she's probably suffering from some unresolved self-esteem issues.

Her actions are beyond sibling rivalry.

Perhaps in her eyes.. you are the favored child. And she resented the fact that you are the reason for her lack of parental attention.

Since she cannot change her parents' behavior, she's taking out her revenge on you.

 However, if your parents had always expected her to take care of you when you are young, she is probably having a hard time letting go of this apron string.

And since you get more autonomy as you grow up, she's finding it more difficult to exert control over you. And her diminishing control ability is frustrating her, that is why she now tries to control you via fear. Fortunately.. such methods only works for a very short time.

You need to keep reminding her that you are already 20 years old. And she needs to grow up.

The best way for you to break yourself free is simply to ignore her. Keep a distance from her as much as you can. Don't share any personal info with her. Simply put.. just keep her outa your life.

Her attempts to take away stuff from you .. is  just another  threat and  control  tactic.. which .. also.. fortunately  are futile  efforts. So don't let it bother you so much.

Her tyranny .. is a part of her character..if she don't start to change... she will be paying for it in other relationships throughout her life.

So you see.. you're not the one getting screwed.. she is.