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feeling inferiority

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  • bubbblygirl's Avatar
    3 posts since Apr '08
    • Im a girl who is overweight since young. I am now 19. It is not that I couldn't be bothered to lose some weight. I have tried various ways of losing weight. From chinese accupuncture, popping pills, even going to a slimming centre. My weight just bounces back no mather how hard i control my diet or lifestyle.

      I think I have low metabolism rate, because I do not usually eat alot, most of the times, even lesser than most of my 'skinny' friends.

      During my secondary school days, which most people associate of being the happiest or most fun part of thier life, I actually detest it the most. Boys in my class and other classes usually make fun of my appearance, calling me names like "mountain" and always calling me by my full name. I have never dared to tell this to anyone, even my closest family, I don't want them to worry about me. That went on for the 4 years i spent in secondary school. And it had  made me feel inferior, wherever I go, when there are people whispering behind my backs or looking and laughing in my direction, I naturally felt that they were talking and laughing about me. This resulted in my anti-socialness. I am afriad that other people would hurt me more, I did not have much friends.

      Being in the technological era, I started surfing the net, talking at online chat rooms (people there can't see how I look like), playing games at home to spend my time. I did not like to go out, I did not like to go shopping. As most of the times the clothes do not fit. Maybe being physcologically affected, I do not even like to try on clothes that I could fit (as majority of Singaporean girls are skinny), always making my sister irritated by my behavior, but she did not know how i felt. Being stuck at home most of the times, online gaming became my best hobby. I made new friends online, and I have more friends online than offline friends. Most of the online friends whom I met, actually became some of the closest friends i got.

      At home, often, my parents would shoot hurtful remarks such as 'Your so fat' to me. Enduring what have already happened in school in the day, I was still exposed to this hurtful words they say to me, although its maybe because they are worried for my health hazards. I was still feeling very down.

      When I proceeded to poly, I tried my very best to make new friends and change myself. I couldn't. I do not even have a usual circle of friends to hang out in school. I was really anti-sociable. So I am kind of a lone ranger in poly.

      I want to change, I want to be more confident to make new friends and be more sociable. But I have this mental blockage of inferiority. Can anyone help me? How do I actually remove this inferiority in me? I know the main problem is my appearance of being overweight. Anyone have any tips for me to lose some weight?

  • FirePig's Avatar
    884 posts since Mar '08
  • rafTiger's Avatar
    86 posts since Feb '08
    • the root problem is yr weight, so yr situation will never ever improve unless you do something about your weight.

      "My weight just bounces back no mather how hard i control my diet or lifestyle."

      very obviously you are not trying hard enough. whole day hole up at home play comp.. how to lose weight??!!

      better put in effort to lose that weight, if not you will never ever get your confidence back.

  • kopiosatu's Avatar
    46,592 posts since Jan '03
    • you need friends who wanna lose weight with u.

      you need positive peer pressure.

      that's if u wanna lose weight la

      Edited by kopiosatu 04 Apr `08, 8:42PM
  • j_dsowner's Avatar
    136 posts since Feb '08
    • well. i don't really recommend exercising like mad. it didn't work out for me. instead joining a sports team during my secondary school years made me gain like 5kg of weight can! actually i wasn't even in the TAF club.. but after exercising due to my CCA, i ended up in TAF club. stupid rite lol.

      u can try those kind of diet food ah. i tik there are some which u don't eat meals, but u eat the diet food that is in a form of drink??.. i'm not sure cos i heard of one friend who tried it and kept bragging it is damn effective. not sure of the results though. but i tik it's quite good?.. rather than starving urself.

      u got to be positive in order to make friends! for me personally i wud get quite irritated if my friend is like emo-ing all the time. and i always told her this, " Isn't there a day in ur life that u can actually feel happy of urself? " and it sorta woke her up. hope it helps though.

  • fai's Avatar
    449 posts since Mar '05
  • trendz's Avatar
    2,379 posts since Nov '04
    • instead of trying hard to lose weight, you coop yourself at home sitting in front of the computer gaming up to a few hours almost everyday. you think that's gonna help?

      Don't bullsh*t that no matter how hard you try, your weight just bounces back. I agree that you didn't try hard enough.

      You don't seem to have much determination & perseverance. Try to make a point to exercise and please do watch your diet.

      It is rather sad that the world is superficial..very. But it's human nature.

  • Ed11790's Avatar
    986 posts since Feb '08
  • BeautifulBetty's Avatar
    287 posts since Aug '07
    • It's not how less you eat but WHAT you eat.

      Want to lose weight? You have to eat the usual 3 meals a day. Go less on carb. Meaning don't eat anything that is starchy like rice, flour type stuffs like noodles or bread. Eat more lean meat especially white meat like fish or chicken breasts and lots of veggies and fruits and drink lots of water. Then combine all these with a good work out every alternate days and see if that works. Some of you go exercise one day then next few days stay off and binge on food so obviously your weight will balloonlah. And when go exercise in the gym hor don't just exercise your mouth for 45 mins and the rest of the 15 mins on the treadmill. Won't work one hor.

  • ShrodingersCat's Avatar
    6,233 posts since Jul '04
    • aiya every few months got this type of thread come up

       

      Same answer:

      don't think your confidence will improve simply becos u lose weight

      security and self esteem must come from WITHIN not from without

      unless you can find something within you that is worth feeling proud and special about

      then just having 'external' looks aint going to solve your problem

      cos lots of chio girls I know also super insecure and low confidence

      and worse for them - cos they can't blame it on looks :P

  • cApitaland's Avatar
    4,115 posts since Sep '05
    • start by jogging alone then. if you like me dislike jogging, pick up a sport or go to the gym.

      its really not about your weight issue. if it was as dire as you described it to be you would have been more vigilant about losing weight.

  • CannyOng's Avatar
    1,391 posts since May '04
    • Join the army.. Tell them u want the guy training.. LOL.

      I from 85 kg drop to 64 kg during my BMT times and develop six pack. So what u think?? But of cos that was donkey years ago.. After getting that figure u need to maintain that.

  • AugoeideS's Avatar
    276 posts since Mar '05
    • Originally posted by rafTiger:

      the root problem is yr weight, so yr situation will never ever improve unless you do something about your weight.

      "My weight just bounces back no mather how hard i control my diet or lifestyle."

      very obviously you are not trying hard enough. whole day hole up at home play comp.. how to lose weight??!!

      better put in effort to lose that weight, if not you will never ever get your confidence back.


      I agree with rafTiger, unless you deal with your root problem, you will never be able to have that confidence back.

       

      Two ways to reduce weight, you either increase your metabolism or decrease your calories intake, or both.

       

      Dieting might not be suffice if your basal metabolic rate is low, hence you may need exercise to increase your metabolism rate.

       

      Hope you make use of this website www.nutritiondata.com, because it has lots to offer. Losing weight is simple, you just have to do it right.

       

      All the best.

  • bryanw's Avatar
    2,716 posts since Nov '07
  • bb
    rlsh07's Avatar
    10,290 posts since Jun '07
  • browniebaobao's Avatar
    28,463 posts since Mar '03
  • VL's Avatar
    140 posts since Mar '08
  • Cz's Avatar
    641 posts since Jan '08
    • I agree with browniebaobao. What you need is confidence! Big can be beautiful too.

      If you're constantly having trouble losing your weight or maintaining a healthy weight, maybe your body does have an awfully low metabolism rate, and you might even want to consider seeing a doctor... or something. icon_confused.gif

      It's more important to be healthy and happy. Constantly subjecting your body to weight loss regimes can have negative impacts on your body in the long run.

  • bubbblygirl's Avatar
    3 posts since Apr '08
    • Thanks for all your replies, be it negative or positive. I do swim on a regular basis because theres a pool near where I stay. I do not really like to jog very much, but I do exercises like roller blading, swimming, cycling and sports like badminton.

      How can I increase my metabolism rate? By what kind of exercise do you mean?

  • kenshin_himura's Avatar
    1,260 posts since Oct '02
    • "Im a girl who is overweight since young. I am now 19. It is not that I couldn't be bothered to lose some weight. I have tried various ways of losing weight. From chinese accupuncture, popping pills, even going to a slimming centre. My weight just bounces back no mather how hard i control my diet or lifestyle."

      Basically, the methods u adopt to lose those flabs are totally wrong. First and foremost, you must drill this in you head that only through exercising can you lose weight. Popping pills is detrimental to you health and slimming centres are bullshit. Seriously, pick up a sport or at least skip at home.

       

      "I think I have low metabolism rate, because I do not usually eat alot, most of the times, even lesser than most of my 'skinny' friends."

      Ok most people think that eating less = losing weight. Well this isn't totally true. By eating less, u are depriving you body of nutrients, hence it will enter a somewhat " starving/ survival" mode. Eat at least 5-6 small meals. Consuming food triggers digestion which require calories. By eating more frequent but smaller portions, you continously supply ur body with nutrients which forces ur body to digest and break down the food, hence raises your metabolism. Drink more water, keeps u hydrated and it aids in fat burning. Do not take meal replacements such as cambridge diet etc. Eat normally. Cut down on your carbs intake. Do not stop, but slowly cut down to 1/2 your original portion and subsequently 1/4. Do not take carbs at during dinner, unless u r gonna exercise.

       

      Seriously if you want to change, you have to break this vicious cycle. 
      i am fat=> i have no friends=> i glue myself to the monitor and keep myself occupied with gaming=> still not exercising=> becomes fat

      Start exercising and monitor you food intake. Write a food bible= write down everything that goes into ur mouth, even water.

      You can do resistance/ weight training. And no excuses that i will become bulky and less feminine. Women can't hypertroph coz they dun have testosterones. Weight training is more effective than jogging as ur muscles continue to burn calories uptill 2 days after the activity.(correct my if i am wrong).

      Comebine HIIT & light weight training and you will achieve your desired results. Exercise at least 3 times a week.


      "At home, often, my parents would shoot hurtful remarks such as 'Your so fat' to me. Enduring what have already happened in school in the day, I was still exposed to this hurtful words they say to me, although its maybe because they are worried for my health hazards. I was still feeling very down."

      Take those hurtful remarks as motivation to spur urself to lose those stubborn fat. Prove them wrong rather than "accept ur fate".

      BTW i was 120kg and i manage to lose 40kg in my BMT. Now i am into strength training.wink.png

       

      Well i wish u all the best in ur quest to be who you want to be. Be in control rather than be controlled. All u need is discipline, discipline and DISCIPLINE. The journey ahead will be tough but once u have succeeded, you will never regret it. 

       

       

       

  • Saf4life's Avatar
    149 posts since Mar '08
  • JJxJJ's Avatar
    5,115 posts since Mar '04
    • Originally posted by Saf4life:

      push ups pull ups and running with sand bags

      man you crazy or what

  • jojobeach's Avatar
    3,397 posts since Apr '07
    • Your inferiority problem will improve once you have slimmed down.

      To slim down..

      Don't starve yourself.. just eat healthy food but in smaller portions. 

      Healthy does not mean it should be boring.

      Put your food in small plates and bowl.. and eat your food.. slowly.

      Fill up your stomach with high fiber foods ( plenty fruits and unprocessed/whole grains). This way, you will feel full.

      It's good to know you swim regularly.

      If you do not like to do high impact workout like jogging and gym. ( Very for women with bigger breast)

      Walking is a good way to have an overall body exercise.

      Walk around your neighbourhood about 1 hour per day, increasing the durations as you gain more stamina.

      I don't know how overweight you are. But if you are "obese". I suggest you seek a doctor to determine if you are a right candidate for gastric surgery.

      They can either staple your stomach or put a gastric band to help you. But remember, there are risks and side effects.

       

       

  • gigabyte14's Avatar
    17,497 posts since Jul '06
  • bb
    rlsh07's Avatar
    10,290 posts since Jun '07
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