To anyone who thinks they can be there for more than one person in your life, let me just say it's not possible.
There's only one you, there's only so much time you can give, only so much determination you can put in and only so much of a shoulder and a listening ear you can offer.
You can't be everything to everyone, or in this case, you can't be everything to two people at the same time. Sooner or later, someone's going to get hurt, it might be all 3 people getting hurt or two or even just one. But there's no way if it persists that no one would get hurt.
You are but one person, don't think you can do everything.
so wat is e point u trying to say/make?
Originally posted by alfagal:so wat is e point u trying to say/make?
You can't give of yourself to more than one person. You can't be 'more than just friends' with more than just one person.
Can't give details of what I'm going through because my friends are the one I am trying to keep this away from.
I will have to agree with TS. I've once tried being there for two different people at the same time. I was damaged, physically and emotionally. It was as if i was there only for the sake of others. You can be a good friend to everyone. But you can only be that much of a best friend to one but not everyone
I have laid down the rule with one already that being 'just friends' is a very difficult possibility. I also expressed that there's no way I was going to handle two at a time, she wouldn't want it either.
Then she dropped the bombshell, well, not totally. But she wants me for herself.
I really do not wish to hurt her feelings and in some sense, I can't bear having her be angry with me either. But if this goes on, more people are going to wind up hurt or at the very least, the hurt will intensify.
I am truly at a loss on what to do now.
Just 1 question.
You like that girl?
To answer the last two posts, this other girl and I have a history. We were never really together as an item but I know I cannot be the one in her life, at least not in that way.
why is it not possible to be there for more than one people?
I have helped and guided many friends in life and always been there for them when they need me.
And i have always managed to lend a listening ear to more than one people in life and is still continuing to do so.
Originally posted by j_dsowner:why is it not possible to be there for more than one people?
I have helped and guided many friends in life and always been there for them when they need me.
And i have always managed to lend a listening ear to more than one people in life and is still continuing to do so.
Being selfish ain't bad sometimes or rather protecting myself.
Originally posted by CannyOng:
But I think ho. The friends TS mention sounds very close. More than friends a bit leh.. LOL! Why not tell yrself u can handle more than 1 person? It just a matter of priority ba.
haha. but i got two friends veri close leh. one is more than a friend. to the extent of extremely close besties that will cry for each other if we do not see/tok each other for days. and another one is also will cry for me if we quarrel de leh.
and yet i can be there for both of them.. maybe because guys seldom handle such situations? cos girls afterall often become extremely close. like s.h.e they also cry for each other.
It's like me handling my ex-girlfriend and my new girlfriend who happens to be a close friend of my ex-girlfriend but has avoided her since she has found out that my ex-girlfiend speaks bad about her behind her back everytime.
It's close impossible to juggle and may I say that my current girlfriend is very understanding. But still you have to have limits and have to push one or the other away and that's where you have to weight your chances.
I tell my current GF whenever my ex-GF calls and what happens so that everything does not fall into misunderstanding. Considering that my GF is extremely understanding, she still minds and says "I don't want to talk about her when it's not necessary".
oh i get it it's current gf against ex gf.
if ur ex-gf is the kind who clings onto u and refuse u to have some private time of ur own to tok/spend time with ur current gf,
i strongly advise you to break off all ties with ur ex-gf.
however if ur ex-gf really treats u as a friend and has moved on, it's ok for u to kip the friendship.
but according to how u say and stuffs like that, i have feeling that ur ex-gf belongs to the category of clinging onto that type.
anyway ur current gf may seem understanding on the surface, but yea u know girls.. when they say that they are ok with something.. in their heart it is not the same case. sooner or later she's gonna voice it all out if this continues.. so u shld know what to do if u reali wanna kip this r/s now.
Thanks everyone for the advice, have broken off all contact with the other person. Life is complicated enough. Even if it isn't, no point making things worse for yourself.
Originally posted by Sumone3:Thanks everyone for the advice, have broken off all contact with the other person. Life is complicated enough. Even if it isn't, no point making things worse for yourself.
Why? So sad.. is the person nice to u?