My husband having affair with China woman! replied by Colby @ Sat, 03 May 2008 00:46:11 +0800

Colby — Sat, 03 May 2008 00:46:11 +0800

haha~Elim20--a clever but horrible woman~~~~~~~~

My husband having affair with China woman! replied by Icymaiden @ Wed, 30 Apr 2008 20:45:09 +0800

Icymaiden — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 20:45:09 +0800

Originally posted by bleuwhale:

I must say my posting is not made only to console or encourage the victim. It is all done in good faith and I hope that some sincere words will find its way into her head. As quoted by you, we do not really know what is happening or who is at fault. I chose to believe what she had painted in the way I would believe a friend. Nobody would know for sure what is right or wrong. Ultimately she would have to face her own music. Lets just pray for her to be able to make her own decision and to live with it without regrets. Whatever it is, I would give her my support, however silent it may be, all the way. ELIM, give it your best and don't look back......

My husband having affair with China woman! replied by ihatemondays @ Wed, 30 Apr 2008 02:26:04 +0800

ihatemondays — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 02:26:04 +0800

ya agree with the 2 people above!

some people blame their mischief on their partner, not gentle enough, not caring enough etc. crap. it's already unethical enough to have affairs outside, still have the face to blame others for his own mischief!

anyway this thread was on wanbao.

My husband having affair with China woman! replied by jojobeach @ Wed, 30 Apr 2008 00:19:01 +0800

jojobeach — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 00:19:01 +0800

Originally posted by youyayu:

well... y in the first place ur husband want to cheat on u... did u ever do some reflecting on urself? etc. screaming at him, nv satisfii his ***** or care about the children more then u care about him

So when your wife devotes her life to raise your child. You show your gratitude by sleeping with another woman ?

Yes, we all know pregnant woman can still have sex.

But have you considered that perhaps it's not very enjoyable for HER to be having sex with a big belly ?

Do you want your wife to just open her legs for you , just so you can enjoy yourself ?

Tsk tsk.. selfish men and their selfish ego.

My husband having affair with China woman! replied by baikachuchu @ Wed, 30 Apr 2008 00:04:38 +0800

baikachuchu — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 00:04:38 +0800

Originally posted by youyayu:

well... y in the first place ur husband want to cheat on u... did u ever do some reflecting on urself? etc. screaming at him, nv satisfii his ***** or care about the children more then u care about him

NOTHING will ever justify adultery.If it can be justified,it will not qualify in a court of law to be used as grounds for divorce in the first place.

Both parents have an obligation to the children,especially when they have not reach the age of maturity.In my view,the needs of the child should be placed above their own.People always praise motherhood,why?Because of that selfless protection of their children which naturally comes with motherhood.You seldom hear fatherhood being glorified...with man tending to place their own needs above others,it isn't surprising that they view their wife's TLC towards the children as being selfish and biased.

If the father is truly jealous about his OWN children receiving more attention than him from his wife,then I seriously question his ability and preparedness to raise one child,much less two.It takes patience and devotion to raise a child.If he fails to see that common goal that he should be sharing with his wife and uses it as a reason to accuse his wife of one-sided attention,then what could be said of his marriage vows?An inconvenience for him?

"Will you love her, comfort her, honour and keep her in sickness and in health and forsaking all others, be faithful to her, so long as you both shall live?"-part of the ROM's marriage vow

His answer?

My husband having affair with China woman! replied by youyayu @ Tue, 29 Apr 2008 22:51:51 +0800

youyayu — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 22:51:51 +0800

er by the way, a pregant women is still able to have sex... a penis is not long enough to reach the womb "if is a normal 1 that is.."

My husband having affair with China woman! replied by youyayu @ Tue, 29 Apr 2008 22:49:23 +0800

youyayu — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 22:49:23 +0800

well... y in the first place ur husband want to cheat on u... did u ever do some reflecting on urself? etc. screaming at him, nv satisfii his ***** or care about the children more then u care about him

My husband having affair with China woman! replied by jojobeach @ Tue, 29 Apr 2008 22:43:50 +0800

jojobeach — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 22:43:50 +0800

Originally posted by Elim20:

haiz....... really dun noe what to do...

Since you are not sure what to do.. then don't do anything yet.

Don't make a hasty decision because you are angry with him for betraying you.

Remember, there's many ways to skin a cat.

My husband having affair with China woman! replied by wenrou @ Tue, 29 Apr 2008 16:11:03 +0800

wenrou — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 16:11:03 +0800

btw so long liao, have you found ur lawyer?

if no money u can go those woman society etc for help..

dun drag liao lah.. end this fast..

My husband having affair with China woman! replied by Midlusionz @ Tue, 29 Apr 2008 16:07:47 +0800

Midlusionz — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 16:07:47 +0800

Leave him = Painful and solve problem once and for all

Dun leave him = Dun solve problem once and for all and u will suffer.

My husband having affair with China woman! replied by Elim20 @ Tue, 29 Apr 2008 16:07:08 +0800

Elim20 — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 16:07:08 +0800

haiz....... really dun noe what to do...

My husband having affair with China woman! replied by jojobeach @ Tue, 29 Apr 2008 15:39:52 +0800

jojobeach — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 15:39:52 +0800

Originally posted by Elim20:

i did thot of that. if i leave him, then he can be with that woman.

but if i dun leave him, then i will suffer, and the kids too. that's y i am in a dilemma.

How will you and your children suffer ? What difference will it make if you divorce him ?

The most is you don't see his LJ face anymore.

If you live your life and shut him outa your own life.. but live under the same roof , what's the difference ?

Letting him go emotionally .. and letting him go physically. What's the difference ?

He'll just be a room mate who is paying the bills. And best yet.. you don;t need to service him anymore.. let the other woman do the job.

If I am you, I'd just wait till he ask for the divorce himself.

At the mean time... I continue my life with my children while enjoying his new found $$$$.. my happiness is my own doing.

My husband having affair with China woman! replied by Elim20 @ Tue, 29 Apr 2008 15:34:41 +0800

Elim20 — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 15:34:41 +0800

My husband having affair with China woman! replied by jojobeach @ Tue, 29 Apr 2008 15:19:45 +0800

jojobeach — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 15:19:45 +0800

Originally posted by Elim20:

I am 32 this year. He is 2 years old then me.

Maybe at that moment, i was so scared of losing him. So i forgave him. And I thot of our kid. I can't be that selfish. I don't want my girl to grow up in a broken family. Furthermore, I have already tolerated him for so many years. I thot i can just forgive and forget.

Then for the period, he was very good. Coming back on time, bringing us out. So I thot he has make an effort to change. So when he told me to try for another one, i agreed. I also wanted our daughter to have another sibling.

But lately i found out he has been lying to me again. I was too soft-hearted to forgive him. He knows my weak points. Or maybe he thinks now with another bb, I wont leave him. So he wants the best of both worlds.

That's why thinking of abortion, but don't have the courage to do it. Since god gave it to me, I have to take good care of it. I know some couples have tried very hard for a baby. But they still dun have. I think it is fated...

Honestly, I don't have any trust in him now. At times when he tells me things, I don't know to believe or not. I don't know is he telling me the truth, or lying??

I dun noe how hard life is going to be, maybe I will just get another part time job. Can still survive without him.

Elim20,

Start planning for your own future.

If he doesn't want to change.. there is nothing you can do.

Yes, some people stay in the marriage, because they see no difference if they get a divorce.

They stay in the loveless marriage for the convenience. Since the mother has no intention of marrying another man, and the husband has a good reason not to commit into another lifetime agreement with a new woman. It's a win win deal.

I can tell you are a very devoted mother, and your children are the center of your life. So, channel your energy into raising your children.

If you don't love him anymore, and since he is still paying and keeping you and your children comfy, what have you got to lose ?

Don't let your anger get the betta of you.

If you let him go, he can happily go marry the other woman and that's what she wants isn't it ?

If you know how to play your cards right, the world can be yours to play with.

My husband having affair with China woman! replied by Elim20 @ Tue, 29 Apr 2008 15:00:43 +0800

Elim20 — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 15:00:43 +0800

I dun noe how hard life is going to be, maybe I will just get another part time job. Can still survive without him.

My husband having affair with China woman! replied by Yo Yo @ Tue, 29 Apr 2008 14:18:54 +0800

Yo Yo — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 14:18:54 +0800

Elim, think of ur happiness before making decision. Are you still able to trust him aft this round? If not, it doesn't make sense for ur kids to grow up in tat type of family environment.

Not sure how old r u, but don't think u v old la. Since u should be still young, ur journey of life still v v long. Think how r u going to live your life in future with ur kids.

Some wife v forgivable while others can't trust a person if tat person misuse their trust.

You should start working after delivery & lead a better life. When women got $$$, we won't scare getting bully by men.

My husband having affair with China woman! replied by jojobeach @ Tue, 29 Apr 2008 14:03:02 +0800

jojobeach — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 14:03:02 +0800

Originally posted by Elim20:

After i gave birth to our 1st child, we hardly go out on a date. Firstly, is cos he was jobless that time. And I have been paying his debts all the while. So we dun really have the extra $ to go out and enjoy.

He just dun want to share the burden. Even when our girl was having high fever, he still goes out clubbing. I even have to tell him to go and see her. But he refused. Giving me excuses. Like very far, very tired! So you see, has he been a good father? I thot he will change for the better, but i think its getting worse now.

Sometimes i ask him to take care of her while i bath, but he only know how to make her cry. He likes to pull her ear and scold her for nothing. How can i ask him to take care?? I have to worry, if he will beat her or not. So i am always there to look after her.

Elim,

Was the decision to have another child agreed by the both of you ?

Since he has such bad rapport with the first one.. why did you decide to go ahead with the second one ?

Did you lay out ground rules before the second one is conceived ?

My husband having affair with China woman! replied by Midlusionz @ Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:59:47 +0800

Midlusionz — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:59:47 +0800

Can i ask how old r u and your hubby? And no, after the child is out he will not return.. Dun be surprise wat those PRC can do. Just let it go babe.

My husband having affair with China woman! replied by FirePig @ Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:53:08 +0800

FirePig — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:53:08 +0800

If you want to live the rest of your life without a spouse(most probably), go ahead and divorce.

My husband having affair with China woman! replied by xiaoxui @ Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:46:51 +0800

xiaoxui — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:46:51 +0800

Elim,

dont be sad. some men are like that. i know of a friend's hubby (they have 2 kids), still have affair with another pub gal (then have another kid). later he seems kanna some illnesses or what... seems like a heaven's punishment. but i still wish him recover from his illness for the sake of the kids.

that women shld put herself in your shoe mah.

My husband having affair with China woman! replied by Elim20 @ Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:33:03 +0800

Elim20 — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:33:03 +0800

very sad

My husband having affair with China woman! replied by jojobeach @ Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:22:17 +0800

jojobeach — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:22:17 +0800

Originally posted by Elim20:

my girl is 5 this yr. he still provides for family, giving me allowance. but his heart is no longer with us.

he still wants to play around, he wants freedom. so what should i do? thot of giving him a chance, but he keeps lying to me. He off his hp at night when he goes out. having late nights, i dun noe how to carry on like that? how long is he going to play and have fun? while i am at home looking after the kids.

I think it is about time you let go of some burdens and let him step up as a father.

There's nothing wrong having fun outside .. but both of you must take turns.

When was the last time, you go out to do your stuff while he stays home to watch the kids ?

When was the last time, you and him go out on a date ?

Have you forgotten how it was like before you got married ?

Having children can be overwhelming, so you must learn to share your burden with your man.

My husband having affair with China woman! replied by Elim20 @ Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:12:16 +0800

Elim20 — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:12:16 +0800

.....

My husband having affair with China woman! replied by Yo Yo @ Tue, 29 Apr 2008 12:14:20 +0800

Yo Yo — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 12:14:20 +0800

Take it easy.. That's why most men can't have $$$, one got mor $$$ they start to fool ard. Don't think 2 much, ur bb also need a rest of mind.

My husband having affair with China woman! replied by jojobeach @ Tue, 29 Apr 2008 12:14:11 +0800

jojobeach — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 12:14:11 +0800

Originally posted by t_a_s:

I think bcos u pragnant, he go find china gal mah, after u give birth, thing will come back to normal, men are like this, they just want sex, after china gal left him, he got no choice, sure come back to u.

Yes after the China girl left him.. the wife will be infected with STD.

Recent Posts in 'My husband having affair with China woman!' | sgForums.com