Originally posted by Noughticated:My gf says if I just assure her, she can rest easy even if I'm in a room full of naked girls.
then just ask her what should you do? tell her you're lost and you want to move on with her. tell her to guide you for once. I believe she'll be more than happy to tell you. :)
side track a bit, a room full of naked ladies?! haha.. no offence, is it your "performance"?
NO LA! =p as in, just an extreme situation I guess. Well thanks for all of your advice. I'm sure I have a clearer picture now.
Originally posted by cuddles:if you're not willing to accept comments, I have no description for you. I don't label you. You label yourself.
You can choose to be a prick or you can choose to be anything. The important thing here is Choice. You cannot be indecisive. Decide for once what is to be in your life.
Yeah but at the moment, "A" is the trigger.
Maybe in another place there is another "A" character but because there is no existing "dislike" for the person. the GF might just ignore and move on with her life. Women can be extremely petty and hard to let go of things. I know cause I am one of those.
She wants to spend the rest of her life with me.
Originally posted by Noughticated:She wants to spend the rest of her life with me.
OK. But do YOU want to spend the rest of your life with her ?
I believe so. But I can't say for sure because she's so paranoid. I just don't want to live the rest of my life under such pressure. The whole A thing etc.
I want her to get over it already.
Originally posted by Noughticated:I believe so. But I can't say for sure because she's so paranoid. I just don't want to live the rest of my life under such pressure. The whole A thing etc.
if A is the only issue, just do it for her sake. once and for all. Whatever she say that can solve it, do it! :)
Unless she keeps being dissatisfied with every little thing.. then you keep changing until you lose yourself, it's not worth it by then..
I was reading this. I gotta reply. Dude, seriously, treasure your girl. She doesn't base her suspicions on vacuum. We just never take the time to listen to our girlfriends. Until they're good and gone.
A's actions and whoever your girlfriend is afraid of, would be something she has seen happen before. Women, though seemingly paranoid and over sensitive, know their shit. So before you go barking up the wrong tree, treat your girlfriend better. Why should she get all the shit from you when its other people making her upset? I don't give f*** I'll just tell them off. Friend or not. If they were your friends, they won't behave like this. Imagine in the future what they can do. Irregardless of whether they're pious church goers or nt. Who gives a flying rats arse anyway. They're still people. They err. If you're going to give your gf crap and let A get away with it, then you don't deserve her.
I'm only replying because I think I know you, and well, you better hope I'm wrong.
Originally posted by POSERDEREK:I was reading this. I gotta reply. Dude, seriously, treasure your girl. She doesn't base her suspicions on vacuum. We just never take the time to listen to our girlfriends. Until they're good and gone.
A's actions and whoever your girlfriend is afraid of, would be something she has seen happen before. Women, though seemingly paranoid and over sensitive, know their shit. So before you go barking up the wrong tree, treat your girlfriend better. Why should she get all the shit from you when its other people making her upset? I don't give f*** I'll just tell them off. Friend or not. If they were your friends, they won't behave like this. Imagine in the future what they can do. Irregardless of whether they're pious church goers or nt. Who gives a flying rats arse anyway. They're still people. They err. If you're going to give your gf crap and let A get away with it, then you don't deserve her.
I'm only replying because I think I know you, and well, you better hope I'm wrong.
lol.. kenna caught pants down liao.
Originally posted by Noughticated:I want her to get over it already.
I think it's time you let your gf go.
You are too immature for a serious relationship.
Until you can get over A yourself and be comfortable being loving to your gf infront of A, you have no right to expect your gf to get over anything.
Oh yea, and YOU DON'T HAVE TO FEEL BAD about A. Really. I'm saying this very very neutrally. YOU DON'T. Why the hell should you. Your gf has a right to feel like crap. A will most likely be part of both of your lives. Weigh your options. You mentioned that your gf felt bad because she realized she was coming between u and A. Well lucky you your gf IS a bloody kind hearted person at least she ain't selfish! From what I see..she loves you and she truly does, so try to help her along and if you do love her, nothing to be ashamed of.
If A can't accept it, its not YOUR job to make sure she does. Why feel bad for her. It only means you LIKE her. Which your gf, I swear, probably has the worst luck in the world and yet she chose to stick by you. Feelings like this are extremely hard to suppress. YOU try and handle it. YOU might suck at it worse than her. I know this because my wife is like this. She gives me the worst headaches, but at the end of the day, I find her the most comforting person to go home to. That's why I married her. Other females will listen to me, do all that BFF crap to me, but my wife always gets my priority. I don't care about what other females are willing to do for me, because I have my wife. So don't conveniently blame your gf. BLAME YOURSELF.
Originally posted by POSERDEREK:Oh yea, and YOU DON'T HAVE TO FEEL BAD about A. Really. I'm saying this very very neutrally. YOU DON'T. Why the hell should you. Your gf has a right to feel like crap. A will most likely be part of both of your lives. Weigh your options. You mentioned that your gf felt bad because she realized she was coming between u and A. Well lucky you your gf IS a bloody kind hearted person at least she ain't selfish! From what I see..she loves you and she truly does, so try to help her along and if you do love her, nothing to be ashamed of.
If A can't accept it, its not YOUR job to make sure she does. Why feel bad for her. It only means you LIKE her. Which your gf, I swear, probably has the worst luck in the world and yet she chose to stick by you. Feelings like this are extremely hard to suppress. YOU try and handle it. YOU might suck at it worse than her. I know this because my wife is like this. She gives me the worst headaches, but at the end of the day, I find her the most comforting person to go home to. That's why I married her. Other females will listen to me, do all that BFF crap to me, but my wife always gets my priority. I don't care about what other females are willing to do for me, because I have my wife. So don't conveniently blame your gf. BLAME YOURSELF.
I agree.
TS don't deserve his gf .
We're both fine now. I hope things get better.Mods, can you please delete this thread?
Aunt Agony, thanks for everyone's advice. I have a clearer picture of what the situation is. I have come to a solution as well. We both were at fault, and things screwed up because we both had expectations of each other. She expected me to understand, and I expected her to trust me. I hope this isn't too late to change.
if you are seriously commited to your gf, marry her.
why wait? marry her to resolve her insecurities issues
We can't marry yet. We both agreed now is definitely not the right time. And we're both working but we';re not as old as everyone thinks.
Is she worth it?
hiya bro...welcome to the world of jealousy...
We both have the same situation here...at least for me in the past. Have a girlfriend who is older than me...but age doesnt matter...no matter how i say and reassure, jealousy still steps in.
for my case, B was my very good female friend since sec2. She was my ex-classmate for once...like you, I once liked her alot...but it was only one-sided...after we graduated from sec school, we went to the same ITE, same course, same class. So for the first year we stick quite close to each other because we were friends from before...blah blah blah...
Then the girlfriend part was that she wanted all connections with her to be broken. Not exactly all lah...still can talk in class, do projects, help each other out, etc. No sms, no calls. Lucky for me was that her boyfriend wanted that as well. This is because she is scared that we will be back together again...
After graduation we no longer contact each other anymore...occasionally a few smses like on her birthday...but didnt tell girlfriend that is...not even getting birthday present.
I wouldnt say this is a bad thing. On the positive side, it shows that she really care alot about the guy. Maybe a clean break from ur A would be a last resort solution...where all verbal assurance is of no use, this is the last one.
After that B is no longer the core problem for my relationship...not sure if i missed out on ur whole story...lazy to read all the posts...
Originally posted by Noughticated:Is she worth it?
If you think she is not worth it, then don't waste her time lah.
Why be so chek ark ?
You christian leh. You not scared your God will punish you meh ?
My gf believes that if I used to like her because of the reasons I gave, there will always be a chance I will like her again given the right time right place.
u take ur girlfriend for granted too much.. it's about time u devote more attention to her and her needs, and stop being concerned about what other girl friends may feel..
i'm telling you, STOP being afraid that ur female friends will feel down because of u, because YOUR OWN GIRLFRIEND is feeling down and insecured because of u..
what wouldyou do in my shoes then?
Originally posted by Noughticated:what wouldyou do in my shoes then?
Wah, your skull very thick leh.
So many forumers here already advise you what to do already, you still ask this question .
I tell you what lah. Bring your gf to one of the forumers gathering. Introduce her to the guys here. I guaranteee you, there'll be lots of takers.
Since you donno how to appreciate your gf, someone else will be more than willing to take over.
Then after that, you can go and continue your fantasy with A.
Let's face it lah, A also don want you if you offer yourself to her.
If you are so good, A would have dumped her boyfriend so she can be with you long time ago.
there's no need for a scenario, because right now, im practising it.. my life is about my family, my male friends and my girlfriend..
im not telling u to cut off all contacts with all females, but u should be putting ur girlfriend in higher priority than them.. at all times..
when it comes to emotions, u should be concerned with what ur girlfriend feels, and not what ur best friend feels.. after u have pacified ur girlfriend and stuff, THEN ur relations with ur best friends come in.. pls do not say that "like that my girlfriend will want more and more', or 'why cant she understand me?'
this thing involves u AND her, and trust me, after u have pacified her, after u do ur part by being responsive to her feelings, and rightfully and dutifully earned her trust, the naked girls room thing will come in..