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An Optimist's Struggle

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  • Optimist_Struggle's Avatar
    3 posts since Jun '08
    • Just as my nick suggests, is there anyone who has always been positive, feel that life (family, career etc) is actually weighing you down, washing and draining your positiveness in life away?

      You have a job, not struggling, got married not long ago, supposed to be happily wed but feel that things are not what you expected. You felt lost, unsupported but you do not want to talk to anyone or maybe you want to keep the image of being a positive and strong person, even to your closest friends or the people you love.

      Well, that's how I feel now. Can only come to forum. Trying to find the positiveness back. Getting tired and really really tired and drained... Is this common in city dweller? Really wonder.

  • Certified Auntie Killer
    Ferret's Avatar
    35,561 posts since Jul '00
    • you have to tell yourself that it's just a phase and it will go away.

       

      And it has to, because thats everything you have been working so hard for.

  • Optimist_Struggle's Avatar
    3 posts since Jun '08
    • Glad that someone replied so quickly. Yeah, being an optimist I have been telling myself that haha.. but losing the energy and stamina to feel so.. and this phase is way too long.. can only pull myself up for a day... then down for a few days before pulling myself up again.. worse is that the number of days I'm down seems longer and longer... losing it...

  • Certified Auntie Killer
    Ferret's Avatar
    35,561 posts since Jul '00
    • well ahahahahha i am in a phase now too.

      And thats what i have been telling myself.

      I guess we just have to work harder at cheering ourselves up bah !

  • Queen of sgForums
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    FireIce's Avatar
    163,475 posts since Dec '99
  • soleachip's Avatar
    5,954 posts since Jun '07
  • jojobeach's Avatar
    4,063 posts since Apr '07
    • Optimist,

       

      Optimists are usually people who can roll with the flows.

       

      You are in a time of your life when you are facing a lot more changes and you're having a hard time adapting to it.

       

      If you are a guy, it is very normal. I read an article somewhere that men don't adapt to changes as well as women.

      It takes them a longer time.. and occasionally they go into depression or self doubt, before they finally figure out how to balance the differences in their expectations vs reality.

       

      Perhaps you may want to share with us, why you feel so drained.

       

      Is your spouse expecting too much from you ?

      Are you living beyond your means ?

      Are you burdened by too much debts/liability ?

       

      There is nothing in your life that cannot be resolved if it pertains to your lifestyle.

       

      Ofcors there are issues that you cannot change but have to deal with and live with , like illnesses or family tragedy etc.

       

      So look at what you can change.. and start working on it.  

       

       

       

       

       

  • Karma88's Avatar
    1,010 posts since Mar '08
  • soleachip's Avatar
    5,954 posts since Jun '07
    • I speak on behalf of pessmists worldwide.

      Question, if not for kindness and self image, what other reasons have we got to exude optimism around colleagues, friends and family? No one can or ever will be optimistic and upbeat about life every step of the way unless they're in denial.

      Imho, there's nothing wrong being pessimistic. This dirty comfort of fear cushions the blow. It's human and it's real.

      Also, we choose not to divulge our inner thoughts because people either frown upon sad thoughts or they worry over the negativity.

      If you're feeling down all the time, get a dog. Get lots of beer.

      Dogs are nice. Beers are self explanatory.

      Dogs are loyal, friendly, they wag their tails when happy, bark at you when pissed off.

      And they'll never judge you the way humans do.

      So much more freedom in affection and expression compared to the awkward pat on the back followed by the default, "Cheer up lah."

       

      Edited by soleachip 17 Jun `08, 3:35AM
  • <(0))><'s Avatar
    1,502 posts since Apr '07
  • gigabyte14's Avatar
    18,035 posts since Jul '06
    • try to find something in your life, it could even be your childhood dream, your long time aspirations, and such, and do something about it

      there are never unanswered questions, and there are endless possibilities in life

      good luck.

  • xavier1979's Avatar
    6,273 posts since Aug '02
    • Originally posted by Optimist_Struggle:

      Just as my nick suggests, is there anyone who has always been positive, feel that life (family, career etc) is actually weighing you down, washing and draining your positiveness in life away?

      You have a job, not struggling, got married not long ago, supposed to be happily wed but feel that things are not what you expected. You felt lost, unsupported but you do not want to talk to anyone or maybe you want to keep the image of being a positive and strong person, even to your closest friends or the people you love.

      Well, that's how I feel now. Can only come to forum. Trying to find the positiveness back. Getting tired and really really tired and drained... Is this common in city dweller? Really wonder.

      Sounds similar to what I'm going through. I always visualize myself walking in a deep valley, where tall mountains on both sides block out the sight of anything.

      It is just one of 'those' days in the cycle. You should get past this feeling in a week. If it persists for more than a month, better seek professional help.

  • angel7030's Avatar
    8,328 posts since Jul '07
    • you got job, get married, a career, a family and still complaining here!!!!, u better go watch those cyclone, earthquake hit families and pples or some africa poor states. You will feels so lucky to be here.

  • domonkassyu's Avatar
    1,133 posts since Sep '07
    • Originally posted by Optimist_Struggle:

      Just as my nick suggests, is there anyone who has always been positive, feel that life (family, career etc) is actually weighing you down, washing and draining your positiveness in life away?

      You have a job, not struggling, got married not long ago, supposed to be happily wed but feel that things are not what you expected. You felt lost, unsupported but you do not want to talk to anyone or maybe you want to keep the image of being a positive and strong person, even to your closest friends or the people you love.

      Well, that's how I feel now. Can only come to forum. Trying to find the positiveness back. Getting tired and really really tired and drained... Is this common in city dweller? Really wonder.

      if you are an optimist, y would u feel family,career, etc is weighin u dwn??? wouldnt you view it as sth that you can grow with and learn from? and from it will have a silver lining?? or is my idea of optimist wrong??

  • Gosu.'s Avatar
    493 posts since Jul '06
    • Guess he lost his optimism. 2 Beers, 4 cigarettes and some porn than a good night of sleep should change all  that.

  • angel7030's Avatar
    8,328 posts since Jul '07
    • Originally posted by Gosu.:

      Guess he lost his optimism. 2 Beers, 4 cigarettes and some porn than a good night of sleep should change all  that.


      u forget to pass him the ecstasy

  • ispyyy's Avatar
    5,475 posts since May '07
    • You will probably find a 100% optimist in a mental hospital.

      And you will probably find a 100% pessimist in the grave.

      All of us have our fear, optimistic and pessimistic qualities and blah blah within ourself. The only difference is how much... And yup, u r normal.

      Just find some1 close to u or some1 who does not noe u at all and tell them all your negativeness... Life is not only being postive... sometimes, u need to be negative... we r all just humans after all...

       

       

  • mistyblue's Avatar
    11,388 posts since May '04
    • Be contented.  To be able to feel lost even when you have a lot of things to be thankful for...

  • Optimist_Struggle's Avatar
    3 posts since Jun '08
    • Thanks for all the comments. Din expect so many replies also haha. Yes we are lucky to be here.. lucky to be physically/mentally abled.. blah blah blah...

      Looking at challenges as part of growing.. Be contented with what you have..

      All these are familair lines that keep an optimist going.. just that people loses energy at times..  and I really lost all these energy for now...

      Someone asked about my age.. does that matter? Well, I'm 30.. should be in prime, a man's most valuable age haha... young handsome financially stable.. kidding..

      Answer to these questions:

      Is your spouse expecting too much from you ? Quite heard some complains..

      Are you living beyond your means ? Nope. I'm a simple person.. but I'm bothered by the economy.. raising food/petrol price.. environment..

      Are you burdened by too much debts/liability ? Small debts.. but which Singaporean adult doesn't have debt..

      Just a major loss of energy I guess, don't want to bother the people who know me.. That's why come here to bother the people who don't...

       

       

       

       

  • Evangel's Avatar
    1,033 posts since Sep '05
  • jojobeach's Avatar
    4,063 posts since Apr '07
    • Originally posted by Optimist_Struggle:

      Thanks for all the comments. Din expect so many replies also haha. Yes we are lucky to be here.. lucky to be physically/mentally abled.. blah blah blah...

      Looking at challenges as part of growing.. Be contented with what you have..

      All these are familair lines that keep an optimist going.. just that people loses energy at times..  and I really lost all these energy for now...

      Someone asked about my age.. does that matter? Well, I'm 30.. should be in prime, a man's most valuable age haha... young handsome financially stable.. kidding..

      Answer to these questions:

      Is your spouse expecting too much from you ? Quite heard some complains..

      Are you living beyond your means ? Nope. I'm a simple person.. but I'm bothered by the economy.. raising food/petrol price.. environment..

      Are you burdened by too much debts/liability ? Small debts.. but which Singaporean adult doesn't have debt..

      Just a major loss of energy I guess, don't want to bother the people who know me.. That's why come here to bother the people who don't...

      Your issue with your spouse can resolve.

      Just learn how to communicate with a Venus.

      Sometimes when a woman complain.. she just need your attention.

      Other than that you seem to be doing alright.

      Take a break.. give yourself a breather...

  • playboy_1985's Avatar
    1,970 posts since Jan '04
  • january's Avatar
    1,564 posts since Jan '05
    • Well, i always think that i am going to be happy becaues i have acquired many advices already. However, i found myself still bogging down by things in family, relationship, work and society and its seems that problems are always coming.

       

      Perhaps some people are just happy and strong even when they face peoblems compared to others who feel stress easily with the same problems face.

       

      its also hard to compare people though because each of us is unqiue situation and circumstances.

       

      Well, if you want, i can charge you by being your happiness guru. that is if you have money to spare.

  • browniebaobao's Avatar
    28,574 posts since Mar '03
    • somehow, my family and career are my main source of motivation in life. 

       

      it's inevitable that work will bring stress, financial burden etc will weigh you down sometimes.. but for me, my family and career motivates me to do better.

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