Getting back with an Ex
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My ex just broke up with me about 1 and a half week ago. Her reason was that love was fading and she don't feel love for me anymore. I asked her if there was a 3rd party and she reassured me that there is no one and i trust her about that.
Then i asked if the problem was me or if there is any problems between us that i didnt notice. She said no, she just said that her love for me was fading and it wasn't fair for her to lead me on. Well, everything was so sudden, just days before the break up, i still surprised her with flowers and she also surprised me. We always led a very loving life together.
I know that many will ask me to move on, but i have still a lot of feelings for her. And i have always seen her as a potential life partner. I don't wanna lose her, especially for unknown reasons or problems. I don't know if her lost of feelings are temporary. I wanna get back together with her because i still see a lot potential in this relationship.
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After she broke up with me, i tried to ask her out and date her out. She went out with me for 2 times but after then she is very reluctant to. I know that the line is drawn and i have been treating her respectfully as a friend during these outings.
I have raised the issue about getting back together, but she rejected me politely. When i asked her if it is still possible in the future for us to get back, she says "I really dont know :("
Since then, she had been obviously avoiding me. More i try to contact her, the more she draws away from me. It has been very hurting but i have holding on to it. My friends are advising me to give her some time out first. Thats what i'm doing right now, i haven't been contacting her (neither did she contact me) for the past few days.
According a common friend, she is living life normally, and been trying to engage in various activities.
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And i would like to ask...
How do i get back together with her? I am feeling very helpless and lost because i don't know why that her love for me is fading (definately not a 3rd party) and don't know how i can get her back.
When i try to talk to her on MSN, there always seem to be this wall that is between us. Keeping her from opening up to me, we chat like normal friends all of a sudden. And i really don't know how to initate a conversation and get her to respond and open up to me like before.
How? I really want her back. Can anyone who are experienced advise me please? This issue have been affecting my life, i can't concentrate on anything right now. I feel so helpless.
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the more u try to make contact, the further she will be away frm u
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how long were the 2 of you together?
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Originally posted by alwaysdisturbed:
how long were the 2 of you together?
it matters mehz?? is not how much they gave in the r/s more impt?? -
Since the love for you have faded , why you still want to be in a relationship with her. A relationship without love is hard to maintain.
And now you treating her like a friend instead of girlfriend. How old are you by the way? Stop trying to asking her to open up. You are giving her pressure and scaring her by your action.
Get away from the problem for a while and calm yourself down!
stay happy! cheers!
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Obviously she doesnt like u anymore, given the fact tat she is living her life normally w/o u. If u like the person, set her free. By forcing her to be with u wll make her so unhappy, is tat wat makes u happier?
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I think she needs space for herself....why not...take this as an opportunity for both of you....to get back into doing other things other than what you've done in the relationship? She wanted to know if she made the right decision by living this "single" life too...and...i feel that you shouldn't pressurize her anymore...by trying to strike a convo with her so regularly. You should try doing other things too...
Either way...you can like try contacting her after a while....like as a friend...that's ok...not trying to strike a convo with her everyday....or as and when you like....she just wants a break for a while...give her that =)
Meanwhile...try not to keep thinking of getting her back...because that mentality and thought will just force you to do more things that are unecessary and might even jeopardize the friendship/relationship that both of you had...
Cheers and i hope that you won't be so troubled over it...
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Ah, she met the wrong guy. Luckily she manage to tell you off earlier, very brave gal. Yo, dude, you dun fit her bill, even without a 3rd party she also dun want you, must be damn regret knowing you.
You go on crying and wondering, and after all these crying, begging and wondering, make sure you learn how love a gal better.
Let mei mei teach you, in any love, the gal must loves the boy more than he loves her, then the love shall last forever, cos she is willing to sacrifice for him and support him.
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nothing you do can move her if her feelings are already gone
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really have a very heart to heart talk with her.
and also explain to her that being together does not always have sparks and what-nots.
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Originally posted by mistyblue:
really have a very heart to heart talk with her.
and also explain to her that being together does not always have sparks and what-nots.
what heart to heart talk...better not lor, let it go smoothly, the gal is good enough to tell him that she do not wish to lead him on, she already is so truthful to him. Sometime when I broke up with a guy, it is for the good sake of him to find one more suitable to his characters and personality.
Lesson 1. If that 2 lego blocks dun fit, no matter what you do, it just dun fit ya, but it can fit another block, go and find it.
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i think she's kind enough not to reject your efforts outright. do her a favor and just leave it at that, like what your friends have told you.
i've been treated like this before and i know that it sucks, but now its been ages since ive gotten over it. what you need is time ba.
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Originally posted by mamamamama:
i think she's kind enough not to reject your efforts outright. do her a favor and just leave it at that, like what your friends have told you.
i've been treated like this before and i know that it sucks, but now its been ages since ive gotten over it. what you need is time ba.
ya, listen to mama ya -
Originally posted by domonkassyu:
it matters mehz?? is not how much they gave in the r/s more impt??it matters i feel.
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move forward, don't look back
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How long is the relationship ?
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Originally posted by 00king00:
move forward, don't look back
must look back, u must alway check back before you move on. If you keep moving forward, u may fall down drastically. -
i'd say, give yrself some time. give her some time too. and during this time, really think and reflect if really moving on with her would be better for both.
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Originally posted by angel7030:
must look back, u must alway check back before you move on. If you keep moving forward, u may fall down drastically.
why fall? what do you mean? -
Originally posted by alwaysdisturbed:
why fall? what do you mean?
Most of us, and especially sg guys are blind by love and relationship, they failed to once a while put themselve out of the box and look at it. To check back on how was he doing? Can he make it? what strategy should he use in order to better the love relationship? and finally, Is the gal really love me?. You must alway check back and ask yourself, otherwise, you may end up with one sided love or lovesick syndrome.For us gals, we are more precaution about love, we do ask ourselves, is he good for me, can i trust him, how am i going to control him, is there really love in it??. Therefore, we are more prepare to check back.
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:(
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hahahahahhaaa....
talks like some guru...
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Give her a break first...
Like your friends has said...
Then after some time have a good talk with her about 2 of you...
^^
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I'm trying hard to move on as well. Lolx. You can keep yourself occupied. When u feel like emoing or start thinking about her, watch funny video clips/ drama.