telling gf about intimacy with ex
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siao liao.. recently my gf asked me about what my ex and i did in the past.. don't want to lie to her mah.. so i told her everything.. then now she can't get over thinking about it.. says even when i hug her or hold her hands, she starts thinking about what i said and feels a little disgusted..
don't know what to do now.. so much for honesty and trust in a relationship.. i guess there are still certain secrets which even couples have to keep from one another..
any one faced this kind of problems before? don't know what can i do to help her get over it..
why is my topic locked huh
*okie i think i know why liao.. OT liao.. haha
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shes not mature enough? then again, thats how humans are, emotions aren't rational.
what can u do about it? nothing actually. you think about how illogical humans are and then you wonder if little white lies aren't actually better than being honest and putting yrself in the sh1t.
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it's good that you're being honest. but if i'm the girl, i also can't help it that i'll keep getting reminded of those things too.
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well.. sometimes being honest can get into a lot of trouble..
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why do women have this fascination with statistics and descriptions about previous ... "conquests" ah ? .....
then they starting looking at you like some tiko when you tell them the truth ...
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Originally posted by Fatum:
why do women have this fascination with statistics and descriptions about previous ... "conquests" ah ? .....
then they starting looking at you like some tiko when you tell them the truth ...
Funny, im a girl and i had no problems with all of my ex-gfs and what they've done with other people.
can we not make this out to be a "girls are like that" thing? You bet your sweet f*cking ass lots of guys are like that also "omg u're not a virgin? i dont want to marry u!"
Meh. Sexism FTL
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its good to be honest but I think you should certainly keep certain things a secret to yourself.
I have this experience once....(only because i never make the same mistake again)
due to some business commitment, I had to bring some clients to a karaoke. I honestly told my wife that I have to go to the karaoke.
when I came back, she asked if any girls were around and i honestly told her the truth. i told her there was one sitting beside me drink and singing only. no hanky panky business going on for me. Guess what? you think she believed me?
she did not speak to me for a week.
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Originally posted by 4Justice:
Funny, im a girl and i had no problems with all of my ex-gfs and what they've done with other people.
can we not make this out to be a "girls are like that" thing? You bet your sweet f*cking ass lots of guys are like that also "omg u're not a virgin? i dont want to marry u!"
Meh. Sexism FTL
well ... I suppose both of us are guilty of generalization of the other sex ? .... and hold our f's views as representative of the opposite sex ? ....
i don't think I have a problem with my future wifey not being a V ... my philosophy is .... it doesn't matter if I'm not the first one .... as long as i'm the last one .....
cos, hey ... that's the most I can promise to her too ...
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I highly doubt what i know of guys is a generalisation.
And SevenEleven, if you guys aren't believed by women, u gotta ask yrself what MOST guys get up to and contribute to the poor image of all men. Who do you really think is to blame? If it was a minority I have no doubt women would be more willing to trust men. But hey, we all know which head men think with hehehehe
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Originally posted by SevenEleven:
its good to be honest but I think you should certainly keep certain things a secret to yourself.
I have this experience once....(only because i never make the same mistake again)
due to some business commitment, I had to bring some clients to a karaoke. I honestly told my wife that I have to go to the karaoke.
when I came back, she asked if any girls were around and i honestly told her the truth. i told her there was one sitting beside me drink and singing only. no hanky panky business going on for me. Guess what? you think she believed me?
she did not speak to me for a week.
LOL poor 7-11
MPB tells me what happens during his trip with the guys and if the guys 'call chicken' or not
He tells me he don't get one and I chose to believe him.
I rather he tells me what happens than kept in the dark.
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big mistake.
never ever tell the truth even if they beg for it.
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Originally posted by SevenEleven:
its good to be honest but I think you should certainly keep certain things a secret to yourself.
I have this experience once....(only because i never make the same mistake again)
due to some business commitment, I had to bring some clients to a karaoke. I honestly told my wife that I have to go to the karaoke.
when I came back, she asked if any girls were around and i honestly told her the truth. i told her there was one sitting beside me drink and singing only. no hanky panky business going on for me. Guess what? you think she believed me?
she did not speak to me for a week.
Sometimes to lie or be honest the person also will doubt you.. so might as well be honest and get over it. Guys/girls sometimes lie even though it was really nothing just to reduce or destroy any chances of conflict/quarrel.
when we want to be honest about it, we expect to talk it out and get over the issue. But always, honesty just brings unhappiness. and some people can't get it out of their minds which is the big problem.
at least mine was.
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Originally posted by 4Justice:
I highly doubt what i know of guys is a generalisation.
And SevenEleven, if you guys aren't believed by women, u gotta ask yrself what MOST guys get up to and contribute to the poor image of all men. Who do you really think is to blame? If it was a minority I have no doubt women would be more willing to trust men. But hey, we all know which head men think with hehehehe
well, there's already a branded belief which head men think with so there's nothing i can argue about....only darn! i should help help myself then! -
Originally posted by cuddles:
Sometimes to lie or be honest the person also will doubt you.. so might as well be honest and get over it. Guys/girls sometimes lie even though it was really nothing just to reduce or destroy any chances of conflict/quarrel.
when we want to be honest about it, we expect to talk it out and get over the issue. But always, honesty just brings unhappiness. and some people can't get it out of their minds which is the big problem.
at least mine was.
ignorance is bliss!
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Originally posted by 4Justice:
shes not mature enough? then again, thats how humans are, emotions aren't rational.
what can u do about it? nothing actually. you think about how illogical humans are and then you wonder if little white lies aren't actually better than being honest and putting yrself in the sh1t.
she's not being inmature i guess, but i guess she just can't accept my past.. if i were in her shoes, i would definitely want to know about her past.. even if she's gone completely wild with her ex, i would still want to know.. curious ma..
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Originally posted by cuddles:
Sometimes to lie or be honest the person also will doubt you.. so might as well be honest and get over it. Guys/girls sometimes lie even though it was really nothing just to reduce or destroy any chances of conflict/quarrel.
when we want to be honest about it, we expect to talk it out and get over the issue. But always, honesty just brings unhappiness. and some people can't get it out of their minds which is the big problem.
at least mine was.
hear ! hear ! .......
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Originally posted by elindra:
LOL poor 7-11
MPB tells me what happens during his trip with the guys and if the guys 'call chicken' or not
He tells me he don't get one and I chose to believe him.
I rather he tells me what happens than kept in the dark.
i think she believed me.....only jealousy got the better off her. -
Originally posted by maurizio13:
big mistake.
never ever tell the truth even if they beg for it.
after that...I agree with out 100% -
Originally posted by SevenEleven:
i think she believed me.....only jealousy got the better off her.
Like that you should be happy laThat she got jealous
I always tell MPB if he ever want to cheat on me, make sure he bring his lover back coz I wanna see them do it in front of me.
Pls lor not that I have some weird fetish or I'm very generous but so that I can kill 2 birds with 1 stone literally
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Originally posted by SevenEleven:
well, there's already a branded belief which head men think with so there's nothing i can argue about....only darn! i should help help myself then! well that'd be a bigger mistake. Just don't bother telling her. Theres something called little white lies. Doesn't mean you need to do something wrong to tell it.
Originally posted by toothbrush:she's not being inmature i guess, but i guess she just can't accept my past.. if i were in her shoes, i would definitely want to know about her past.. even if she's gone completely wild with her ex, i would still want to know.. curious ma..
Didn't you hear? curiousity killed the friggin cat. What good does knowing do besides you knowing how far you could go in bed?
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Originally posted by toothbrush:
`she's not being inmature i guess, but i guess she just can't accept my past.. if i were in her shoes, i would definitely want to know about her past.. even if she's gone completely wild with her ex, i would still want to know.. curious ma..
dude ...... don't ever go there ......
the mental image of her doing the thingy thingy with another man ..... would drive any real man wild ....
ignorance .... is bliss ...
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Originally posted by elindra:
Like that you should be happy laThat she got jealous
I always tell MPB if he ever want to cheat on me, make sure he bring his lover back coz I wanna see them do it in front of me.
Pls lor not that I have some weird fetish or I'm very generous but so that I can kill 2 birds with 1 stone literally
Killing them is hardly punishment enough. But then why is it the girl's fault? Men don't know how to control their urges... whose fault is it? I can leave a brand new TV in the streets but if people were honest, nobody'd take it. If someone takes the TV, is it my friggin fault that he's dishonest? Hey so its my fault for leaving it there, but you don't see the honest people taking it do ya? ^^
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i think honesty is really important.. and being able to love your partner enough to not let it affect the relationship.. and i agree with what fatum said.. in certain areas like this, its more important to be the last rather then the first..
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Originally posted by maurizio13:
big mistake.
never ever tell the truth even if they beg for it.
i only gave her a simplified version of what happened between me and my ex.. guess it was wrong of me to even tell..lesson learnt.
some things are indeed meant to be kept to ourselves.. -
Originally posted by Fatum:
dude ...... don't ever go there ......
the mental image of her doing the thingy thingy with another man ..... would drive any real man wild ....
ignorance .... is bliss ...
you've got a narrow definition of what a "real" man is. Had no idea real men were so insecure one hahahaha