Mental block problem
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I have this mental block problem that has been troubling me since a long time ago. I have totally no clue how it actually happened but i would like to know whats the underlying problem, if some kind souls would actually help me on this. Heres roughly how i feel when interacting with people-
1) I feel like i am continuously running out of topics with people whom i am not really close with, inclusive of friends/acquaintances.
2) I feel that even if i do talk and crap a lot, most of it seems involuntary and forceful, thus depriving me of any genuine satisfaction from the conversation.
3) I feel the existence of an ''awkward silence'' pervading the air when i am not talking to a person whom i know but am not close with.
Have anyone of you experienced such feelings or is it only me? Is it just a manifestation of poor social skills or is it a sign of worst things to come?
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hello there.
don't worry too much about it, i have the same problem as you too.
i think it's because i'm only comfortable when i'm talking to people that i really know. i'm the kind that may seem anti-social at first, doesn't talk much, lousy at making small talks etc. however, when i get to know the person better, i will start to become chatty. in short, i guess i just need time to warm up to someone whom i've just known.
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go and find some lame jokes on sgforums and memorise it... Before chatting with someone, drink some beer which just make u a bit dizzy and then yr topics will flow out naturally...
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Originally posted by ultimatenolifer:
I have this mental block problem that has been troubling me since a long time ago. I have totally no clue how it actually happened but i would like to know whats the underlying problem, if some kind souls would actually help me on this. Heres roughly how i feel when interacting with people-
1) I feel like i am continuously running out of topics with people whom i am not really close with, inclusive of friends/acquaintances.
2) I feel that even if i do talk and crap a lot, most of it seems involuntary and forceful, thus depriving me of any genuine satisfaction from the conversation.
3) I feel the existence of an ''awkward silence'' pervading the air when i am not talking to a person whom i know but am not close with.
Have anyone of you experienced such feelings or is it only me? Is it just a manifestation of poor social skills or is it a sign of worst things to come?
I think firstly you must feel comfortable with yourself. How to be comfortable ? Learn to love and accept yourself unconditionally.
Feed yourself with positive thought. For instances, you can try wishing yourself " May i be well and happy. May i be free of fear and anxiety. May i abide in peace and harmony. May all be well and happy. May all abide in peace and harmony. May i take care of myself happily"
Some conservation topics will interest certain people. It's normal to find yourself running out of topics sometime. Take it easy.
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TS, go work on your self confidence. YOu may want to attend some self improvement seminar/talk. Don't over stress yourself, relax when interacting with people.
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Lame jokes seriously dont work. I have tried them before and they made me look even more socially awakard.
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Originally posted by ultimatenolifer:
I have this mental block problem that has been troubling me since a long time ago. I have totally no clue how it actually happened but i would like to know whats the underlying problem, if some kind souls would actually help me on this. Heres roughly how i feel when interacting with people-
1) I feel like i am continuously running out of topics with people whom i am not really close with, inclusive of friends/acquaintances.
2) I feel that even if i do talk and crap a lot, most of it seems involuntary and forceful, thus depriving me of any genuine satisfaction from the conversation.
3) I feel the existence of an ''awkward silence'' pervading the air when i am not talking to a person whom i know but am not close with.
Have anyone of you experienced such feelings or is it only me? Is it just a manifestation of poor social skills or is it a sign of worst things to come?
Don't force yourself to become someone that you're not.
Be natural, that's the key in socialising.
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Erm but being myself and natural means being quiet around ppl leh. I dowan to come across as someone who is antisocial but at the same time, i cant socialise well
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Originally posted by ultimatenolifer:
Erm but being myself and natural means being quiet around ppl leh. I dowan to come across as someone who is antisocial but at the same time, i cant socialise well
Socialise doesn't mean have to talk a lot de, talk something intelligent, something basic like his background, intro your own background then maybe talk about some of the current news.
If you happen to share same interest with this person then can share your experience etc.
If not what you want to talk?
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Why must you do all the talking? Or most of it? You have one mouth and two ears. So the ratio of talking to hearing is 1:2. Ask a question, and let the other speak.