Cold War with staff
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sometimes the problem is with the person and it can be easily read off ziweidoushu chart http://fengshuiforward.com/forum/personal-requests/career-reading-pls/0/
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Originally posted by thickskin23:
This is my second job after i graduate from university. I got a job as an accountant in a sme and i been working around 4 month plus. I was given 2 book keeper to as my staff. 1 of the book keeper is around 24 yrs old. As it is my second job i try to be humble and gain as much experience as i can.
We are doing OT for the past 1 month due to auditing at least up to 9 pm everynite. After work i drive the 24 yr old book keeper home as the other book keeper’s husband will usually wait for her and also i live near to the 24 yr book keeper.
At first we just causally chat about work and stuff, i am a very quiet guy basically. After sometime she ask me about what kind of girl i like etc. She told me she become 110kg due to thyroid disorders and her height is 160cm. One day i JOKE about going to my friend’s foreign bride agency and she give me a weird look saying sg girl not enough? I said i been ditch by a few girl before and she suddenly said she will not ditch any guy etc, i just keep mute.
One night she suddenly said she is fond of me, i was shock and i said i am honor but now i do not wish to get in any relationship as i am currently doing my cpa. I guess i was too direct or anything but from that day she start to underperform in her work and she will throw tantrums like she has too much work on her hand.
The worst part is one day while i was having lunch with my colleague and the other book keeper, they told me i should not shit in the place i work and the other book keeper said the 24 yr old staff have been saying that i am a shallow guy that go for looks. I was real piss off i mean i am just average looking but i am 186cm and 72kg, why will i want a girl that is 160cm and 110kg. I have to admit first impression play a part.
Sorry but this is really not a fat bashing thread, and i really just give her a drive home nothing else.
If she wasn't fat, you would of dated her ? -
Originally posted by XxYaNxX:
If she wasn't fat, you would of dated her ?Don't be silly, TS wouldn't.
Why would anybody? Unless they are equally soft around the edges?
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Originally posted by methanol:
Don't be silly, TS wouldn't.
Why would anybody? Unless they are equally soft around the edges?
Silly ? , Some guys do like bigger girls -
of course, bigger guys, that is
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oh dear oh dear. i experience this b4 i understand your pain.
that fat book keeper thinks that , u rejected her because of her size.
aiya just tell her off, in the face like don't go around complaining to people , because i rejected u.
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so u gave her a ride huh.... no wonder she so angry when u dun like her.
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pity u sia. at the start u shld nt even be sending her home. superior and worker shld maintain a distant. u treat her too gd she will be climbin ur head.
aniway if im de gal and u alway send me home i will oso take it tat u like me. but hor she shld oso take a look at the mirror la n ask herself wiill ple like her ma. so big size and she herself 自作多情 i thinlk hor out of 100 guys i think none will take her lor.
"never eat whr u shyt" everyone knw tis unless is from different department then is ok. if im u hor i sure scream at her say "THOSE WHO LIKE U BOTH EYES PASTE $1 STAMP"
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Originally posted by thickskin23:
The worst part is one day while i was having lunch with my colleague and the other book keeper, they told me i should not shit in the place i work and the other book keeper said the 24 yr old staff have been saying that i am a shallow guy that go for looks. I was real piss off i mean i am just average looking but i am 186cm and 72kg, why will i want a girl that is 160cm and 110kg. I have to admit first impression play a part.
Originally posted by MaNyZeR:You better explain yourself to her and ya colleagues, to avoid any misunderstandings...
Maybe you can get the married book-keeper to help. Sometimes when such things happen, it's best to explain yourself but do not go without a witness. Get your two book-keepers together and treat them to lunch or something. Then bring gently up the topic. Tell them you have been very concerned for their welfare as what you have told us here:
Originally posted by thickskin23:We are doing OT for the past 1 month due to auditing at least up to 9 pm everynite. After work i drive the 24 yr old book keeper home as the other book keeper’s husband will usually wait for her and also i live near to the 24 yr book keeper.
Tell them that you've been appreciative of their working late, and then gently and casually (as if "by the way" kind) say that you have been hearing rumours floating around (but don't mention what, as they would know clearly so as to save them face --> I think saving face is very important as the young bk might have felt you were too direct and hence her reaction after that night; her need to "defend" herself) and you feel uncomfortable about it (suggested dialogue: "haiz... if this goes on... *shake your head as if you don't know what to do*"). And tell them this clearly puts you in an awkward position as you wish to be professional about your work. And tell them that if this rumour goes on, you are clearly not able to look out for the 24 yr old keeper as much as you are concerned for her as her superior (or if you have already stopped the drive, explain that this is why you stopped).
Lastly, tell them the treat is for all the hard work they have put in, and hope to see better performance from both of them. Try to make everything as light and casual as possible (face-saving again so as not to cause the other party to become defensive), but I think they will get the point.
Whatever things that happen, always go to the root of the source (the rumour must have started off from her whether she means it or not). Only then will the problem be truly eliminated.
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By the way, I think the above measure should be enough for the moment. No need to go further to explain to colleagues unless they ask you about it as I think that will only add oil to fire. Time will prove yourself if you have been professional and straight all along. People can see from how you behave and how you treat others.
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Originally posted by newcomer:
quote: Sorry but this is really not a fat bashing thread
LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
wad u mean? i no think ts is wrong. guys will definitely go for looks. althought character still plays a part, looks do matter. will u go out with a pimple face, plump gal but good caracter, or a chio gal but caracter not up to standard? no need to be so sarcastic.