Better to be friends than lovers
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Have you ever lost a friend just because one party started to develop feelings for the other but the feelings were not mutual? Thereafter, the two of you couldn't even remain as friends because it can get complicated?
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yeah -_-"
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the word is: awkward....
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friendship also sure gone =(
cuz there will always be this psychological barrier in b/w the 2 of u..
i lost a 10yr+ friend cuz of this =( no longer in contact @ all...
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yeah . i have. but it turn out fine~ heehee
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Happened a number of times. IN the end no more friends. Sad. After the guys know that the gals can't give more, guys just show no interests to remain friends. Or could be after the gals know the guys ask for more and gals cannot give more, gals feel awkward, stressed about the relationship, then give up friendship with the guys.
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Originally posted by Fantagf:
Happened a number of times. IN the end no more friends. Sad. After the guys know that the gals can't give more, guys just show no interests to remain friends. Or could be after the gals know the guys ask for more and gals cannot give more, gals feel awkward, stressed about the relationship, then give up friendship with the guys.
yup... cos... would a guy go out with a gal for no apparent reason? would u spend money for a gal who already said 'no point chasing, i no interest'?
waste my time and money sia... -
Originally posted by Rednano:
yup... cos... would a guy go out with a gal for no apparent reason? would u spend money for a gal who already said 'no point chasing, i no interest'?
waste my time and money sia...
Like that means there is no platonic relationship between gals and guys. Sad. I will take what you said as guys be friend with gals for love and sex only, friendship between both genders is not possible. -
Originally posted by Fantagf:
Like that means there is no platonic relationship between gals and guys. Sad. I will take what you said as guys be friend with gals for love and sex only, friendship between both genders is not possible.
if go out in group like gathering, i dun mind lah... -
Originally posted by Rednano:
if go out in group like gathering, i dun mind lah...
So to you after the gal says no, you will go out with her in group??? Hope you don;t get it wrong that when you see one gal and one guy go out means they are an item. -
Originally posted by Fantagf:
So to you after the gal says no, you will go out with her in group??? Hope you don;t get it wrong that when you see one gal and one guy go out means they are an item.
most of the time, if boy-girl 1-1 usually is item-to-be... the wooing stage... unless is just brother-sister siblings lah..
that group thing situation... see how... if got good buddy to talk to, then stick with that buddy side... even go out in group, inside still got smaller groupings... -
I used to have quite a close guy friend...I developed a crush for him but never let him know for fear of hurting our friendship. He was in love with another girl at that time, and I played Aunt Agony to him, listening, consoling, helping him choose birthday gift for the girl, you name it, I have done it before.
Then one night when we were alone...something happened. It kinda destroyed my trust in him, and he became awkward towards me, and that night (I was heavily intoxicated, otherwise this would never happen), I sorta confessed to him my feelings and the next morning he told me we would never be more than friends.
But friends we couldn't be from then onwards, I distanced myself from him and never talked to him ever since until recently...but even then I know it could never go back to the times it was before.
It made me realize...yes, friendship is a very fragile thing, cherish it while you can. But losing friends is something that is very common, once it happens, you just need to learn how to move on. You will meet other friends along the way. Of course the memories belong to you, keep them and when you are completely over him, take them out again and they will make you smile.
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Originally posted by cherrycola:
Have you ever lost a friend just because one party started to develop feelings for the other but the feelings were not mutual? Thereafter, the two of you couldn't even remain as friends because it can get complicated?
You mean same sex or different sex.For guys, i always put myself infront to tell them to get off my back, or else....
For gals, i recommend them lesbian pubs.
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i tot oni sec sch kids got this kind one?
during secondary sch this happened to me leh.
although in the end gt become frens again la. haha
but now, all grow up liao, still play "u like me so i dun fren u" ah?
haha
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Originally posted by cherrycola:
Have you ever lost a friend just because one party started to develop feelings for the other but the feelings were not mutual? Thereafter, the two of you couldn't even remain as friends because it can get complicated?
kind of. it was my good friend. Now not close anymore. having said that, maybe it's cuz we both found people whom we love and love us back. i'm over him now completely of course, but the friendship's not like last time. but then another friend also experienced this distancing since he got attached.. so, the problem may not be unique to me :) -
Originally posted by Rednano:
most of the time, if boy-girl 1-1 usually is item-to-be... the wooing stage... unless is just brother-sister siblings lah..
that group thing situation... see how... if got good buddy to talk to, then stick with that buddy side... even go out in group, inside still got smaller groupings...talk as if really platonic relationship is impossible. Personally, I believe there can be platonic relationship when a gal and guy go out. If they meet once in a while, two of them go out to catch up with each other, it is OK, it is just friendship.
When I see one gal and one guy go out, I don't jump into conclusion that they are an item, they could just be friends.
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Originally posted by rainee:
I used to have quite a close guy friend...I developed a crush for him but never let him know for fear of hurting our friendship. He was in love with another girl at that time, and I played Aunt Agony to him, listening, consoling, helping him choose birthday gift for the girl, you name it, I have done it before.
Then one night when we were alone...something happened. It kinda destroyed my trust in him, and he became awkward towards me, and that night (I was heavily intoxicated, otherwise this would never happen), I sorta confessed to him my feelings and the next morning he told me we would never be more than friends.
But friends we couldn't be from then onwards, I distanced myself from him and never talked to him ever since until recently...but even then I know it could never go back to the times it was before.
It made me realize...yes, friendship is a very fragile thing, cherish it while you can. But losing friends is something that is very common, once it happens, you just need to learn how to move on. You will meet other friends along the way. Of course the memories belong to you, keep them and when you are completely over him, take them out again and they will make you smile.
I feel your sadness. But hey, a least the both of u are in touch again.... cherish e frdship....
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Originally posted by angel7030:
You mean same sex or different sex.For guys, i always put myself infront to tell them to get off my back, or else....
For gals, i recommend them lesbian pubs.
Wah.... tell them to get off ur back.... so harsh ah? -
of course
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I did got this kind of situation before, we were pretty cold to each other for couple of months until recently got talk abit.
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Originally posted by cherrycola:
Have you ever lost a friend just because one party started to develop feelings for the other but the feelings were not mutual? Thereafter, the two of you couldn't even remain as friends because it can get complicated?
very common to hear this sort of scenario... friendship lost lo.. mutated to hatred.. -
Actually after confession and the ability to remains as friends depends on hw the 2 individual look ,their perspective and maturity .
I have 2 gd incidents like this .
1st gal is a very gd buddy , we had mutual understanding n cool headed abt this . We remain strong n friendship is steel .
2nd gal , she is e more outgoing type , thus attracting more guy friends . I fall for her twice in fact .
1st time the awkward stage sets in , of cos there is also emotional hurt in me . I took abt 2-3mths recovery time to initiate contact with her again , we became great frens again . 2nd time i have no idea y fall again , so the same cycle repeats , except that i didnt screw it up as much as 1st. All the while i didnt confess , but this time the gal distance herself for good and we nv really got back since .To me , i find that gals r much more click-able to me than guys . I tend to have this "cherishing" behaviour towards my gal frens more than guy frens . Probably thats y i can retain n strengthen the friendship.I m still exploring ways to get back contact with 2nd gal , becos i really feel that our friendship is worth it for me to try to get it back but of cos she has to feel the same .
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lol.. after some confession, be friends or not is depend one la.. platonic relationships do exists... but not all people can understand that concept...
anyway it's a thin line between that.. it's pretty easy to step over..
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if she/he reject,...then say..still can be good frens? is okay ma
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it's hard to remain as friends. awkward.