I feel betrayed
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the story from beginning:
My bro is engaged to this indonesia girl which was match maked my my mum... My bro was engaged once with another sg girl but broke off... My bro always accidentally call this indo girl his sg girlfriend name... He hinted that he got sg gf... But my mum would be angry and say pity this indo girl, she did so much for us... When I mean did so much, it means that she always buy stuff for us... But I feel it's like bribing us to like her...
Initially, I liked this indo girl... Now, I hate her to the core... Here's why:
1. She framed my godsister of trying to break up my bro and her... Initially I believed her, then suddenly her whole family starts to get involved and say unkind stuff about my god sister like sms never reply, avoiding etc... One thing that gave it away was when this indo girl tried to gain sympathy vote from me by saying my god sister is so mean to her in the most 'baby-like' way... I did ask my god sister of this matter and she was in total shocked... My god sister did sms her, but she never replied back...
2. BTW, she's in m'sia... When my mum ask her to buy clothes for me and my sis in Indo(which we will pay), instead of saying "I'll see if have" she will say "Oh, don't have anymore"... How would she know? Is she the inventory manager of the whole clothing line in indonesia?
3. My sister and I are genetically prettier than her... She would look at us a weird way...
4. She always claimed that ppl are jealous of her beauty... And that m'sia and sg in jealous of Indonesia? for real?
5. One time she called me up just to see if my bro is at home... Talk about trust issues...
6. When my bro ignores her msg es, she would complain to my mum that my bro ignore her and that he has changed... She would expect my mum to tell my bro that and hopefully that he would change because my mum talked to him about the matter... If you are in his place, what would you feel...
7. She loves to exagerate... One time, I merely mentioned that I would love to get a belly button pierce as we passed a piece shop... The next week, I seeked my mum's approval for it... Being very conservative, my mum said no... Of course I pleaded but to no avail...
This was witness by my sis... My mum then say "You see, ****** wants to get a belly button piercing"... She replied that the week before I was also begging her to get a belly button pierce... WTF!!!
8. This is the most that I hate about her... Yes, her mum's a b!tch... But everytime she fought with her mum about something, she would complain to my mum... Not just that, she talks behind her mum's back! Her mum does like wearing 20 yr old clothing and her character sucks big time... Even so, that's her mother... Her own mother, how can she talk behind her mother to my mother in a way of no respect? Such loyalty?
9. One more thing, I hate going to JB... It's freaking hot there and there's nothing much to do... When I didnt come for a long time, that Foreign B!tch would ask, "you don't like me is it?"...
10. When ANY guy tries and flirt, she flirts back... Even the really fugly ones... Talk about being cheap...
The one thing i feel betrayed is about is my mum... She is like in love with this foreign B!tch!!! When my bro JUST met her, my mum said it was love at 1st sight...
I told my mum that I didn't like this indo B!tch... But I told her it's because of reason no.8... Didnt mention the rest... but I did told her there's more, just didnt explore it in detail...
A few days back, she kept mentioning her name... And esp. about that indo B!tch complaining to my mum about her mother... I hate it when such trust between mother and daughter is exploited... I confronted her about such attitute... She said that she has no one to turn to... Oh please, she has her aunts who also hates her mum... She has my bro... Of all ppl, my mum?
And then my mum starts muttering and gave me the cold shoulder(feels like kana stab in the heart)... And I confronted again and say that she's being like this because I don't like that Indo B!tch... And thus with such un agreement, how can she stay with me? What bull? She always likes to play the 'I don't want to live with you' card... And I finally said, 'OK'...
Then she started to 'bring back' old promises such as when I was 14, which I promised to take care for the house in JB... I am 23 now, of course I have different commitment and goals now than when I was 14... Still wanna play that card???
Till now, I feel that i cannot forgive her... It really shows her loyalty... She would prefer taking the side of some outsider than her own daughter? And mind you, I don't like the Indo B!tch, not in conflict and my mum's already like this...
I really feel betrayed and damned pissed!!!
And my mum did mention to that Indo B!tch if it would be ok if my parents live with them after her marriage to my bro, and she said yes, but her face like don't want like that...
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erm u wanna PM her picture? unless shes the very rich indo gal type else quite hard to imagine her as indo pretty... ur bro still likes her? matchmake liao then when must get married?
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It appears u have sufficient reasons with facts to think that she is not a good addition into the family, however, u just seem to have no weight, Why not discuss with ur bro , the last thing u want is hell on earth.. and in ur house.
Unfortunately parents will always bring up the old shit because they remember. My parents also always bring it up. Something i promised when real young but those things can be solved with alternative means of achieving ur goals and still stay commited.
Anyways , feel better liaw after writing it all out ? lol!
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Brutus: She's above average..Not rich liao... My bro did hinted that he doesnt wanna get married to her, but my mum would say, hey she 'do' so much for us, must get married... Being a mummy's boy, he would listen...
BadzMaro: The thing is, I don't give a damn if she marries my bro... BTW, my bro and I are not close... Bringing this up to him will most likely make him hit me... Yup, does feel better... Been keeping this in for a long time...
The thing is I feel betrayed that my mum would choose some outsider(not one with gd character) over me, her own daughter... I think my mum is being played
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Originally posted by White_SoulReaper:
Brutus: She's above average..Not rich liao... My bro did hinted that he doesnt wanna get married to her, but my mum would say, hey she 'do' so much for us, must get married... Being a mummy's boy, he would listen...
BadzMaro: The thing is, I don't give a damn if she marries my bro... BTW, my bro and I are not close... Bringing this up to him will most likely make him hit me... Yup, does feel better... Been keeping this in for a long time...
The thing is I feel betrayed that my mum would choose some outsider(not one with gd character) over me, her own daughter... I think my mum is being played
How old is your brother, if you don't mind me asking? I believe your brother should really think twice before marrying this girl. Loving your mum is one thing but certain things he shouldn't let others to decide for him. He will be the one who has to spend the rest of his life with her, not you or your mum.
Breaking up now is less messy than having a divorce later.... especially if kids are involved.
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Originally posted by White_SoulReaper:
Brutus: She's above average..Not rich liao... My bro did hinted that he doesnt wanna get married to her, but my mum would say, hey she 'do' so much for us, must get married... Being a mummy's boy, he would listen...
BadzMaro: The thing is, I don't give a damn if she marries my bro... BTW, my bro and I are not close... Bringing this up to him will most likely make him hit me... Yup, does feel better... Been keeping this in for a long time...
The thing is I feel betrayed that my mum would choose some outsider(not one with gd character) over me, her own daughter... I think my mum is being played
wa ur bro reali mummy boy.... gues ur mum ate too much of the goodies she gave... looks like she a problematic gal... her coming into the family will create more hell... now the only 1 can prevent all the hell is u n ur bro.... go talk to him n hear how he reali feel... if hes not hapi with whole thing then u gotta help him out... -
Originally posted by honeymouse:
How old is your brother, if you don't mind me asking? I believe your brother should really think twice before marrying this girl. Loving your mum is one thing but certain things he shouldn't let others to decide for him. He will be the one who has to spend the rest of his life with her, not you or your mum.
Breaking up now is less messy than having a divorce later.... especially if kids are involved.
My bro's 34 this year, the girl's 23...My bro was in messy breakup with his former fiancee, and i think he's tired of dating again since they were together for 5 years... He's a definite mummy's boy... He will do as she said... Most of his life choices is made because my parents 'recommend' him into it...
I did mentioned it to my mum... But was dismissed... It's alright, if they get married, then she kana abused or divorced or show her true colours to my parents... Then I would say 'I told you so'...
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i kinda pity your bro...
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Originally posted by BrUtUs:
wa ur bro reali mummy boy.... gues ur mum ate too much of the goodies she gave... looks like she a problematic gal... her coming into the family will create more hell... now the only 1 can prevent all the hell is u n ur bro.... go talk to him n hear how he reali feel... if hes not hapi with whole thing then u gotta help him out...
hahaha... indeed he's a big mummy's boy... But I think it's of guilt also since he went to prison once...I am fine with her coming into the family as long as she doesnt disturb me... At least I got a live soap opera to watch...
See, I am not close to my bro and he has violent tendencies... I've been hit once...
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Originally posted by White_SoulReaper:
My bro's 34 this year, the girl's 23...My bro was in messy breakup with his former fiancee, and i think he's tired of dating again since they were together for 5 years... He's a definite mummy's boy... He will do as she said... Most of his life choices is made because my parents 'recommend' him into it...
I did mentioned it to my mum... But was dismissed... It's alright, if they get married, then she kana abused or divorced or show her true colours to my parents... Then I would say 'I told you so'...
You can only do so much and make yourself heard. If your brother and mum still want to go ahead with that decision, just stay away from it and move forward with your own life.
At the end of the day, it's your brother's own decision. If he doesn't want to stand up to your mum himself, there's nothing you can do about it.
I know you love your family but please remember that you're not responsible for their action.
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Originally posted by honeymouse:
You can only do so much and make yourself heard. If your brother and mum still want to go ahead with that decision, just stay away from it and move forward with your own life.
At the end of the day, it's your brother's own decision. If he doesn't want to stand up to your mum himself, there's nothing you can do about it.
I know you love your family but please remember that you're not responsible for their action.
I am aware of it ... Thanks =) -
Originally posted by White_SoulReaper:
I am aware of it ... Thanks =)That's good. I just want you to know that you don't have to feel guilty if anything goes wrong one day.
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Family will always be Family.
One may not be responsible towards one's family's actions, esp when family members insist on doing things their way despite after being 'warned' and advised against.
But, if things really didn't turn out well, and your mum and bro really had a hard time with that gal in the future, do u feel u can really stand aside and tell urself dun feel guilty cos u have did all u can now, and that they should be responsible for their own actions?
If u can do that, by all means go ahead.
Else, either u try harder to convince them, coming up with evidences etc, or just be prepared for what may happened in the future and lend a helping hand whenever required should anything really happens.
Family is for Life, no matter how many bad feelings there are.
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Originally posted by HelloKittyFan:
Family will always be Family.
One may not be responsible towards one's family's actions, esp when family members insist on doing things their way despite after being 'warned' and advised against.
But, if things really didn't turn out well, and your mum and bro really had a hard time with that gal in the future, do u feel u can really stand aside and tell urself dun feel guilty cos u have did all u can now, and that they should be responsible for their own actions?
If u can do that, by all means go ahead.
Else, either u try harder to convince them, coming up with evidences etc, or just be prepared for what may happened in the future and lend a helping hand whenever required should anything really happens.
Family is for Life, no matter how many bad feelings there are.
One thing about my parents is that they are desperate to get my bro married... Why? For the typical reason... He's more than 30, must get married... I disagree on this... However, my opinions doesnt matter...I just said that I didnt like this Indo gal, see what happens, I am in conflict with my mum... It's better that they experience it than they blaiming me, What if my bro got married...
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All in all, it's actually a family issue; do what u feel best and have no regrets.
I been thru similar situation as you, my mum will rather side an outsider than her own child me, cos my character was different from those of my siblings.
Whatever I said, she won't listen, but if an outsider said the same things as me, she will listen.
Our relationship was pretty bad to the extend that she told me is either she or me in the same house.
Ever hear a parent telling her own child that you are wasting my electricity cos u are using lights to study for ur exams?
Now, years later, no one will actually believed that we have conflicts that bad; we have grown closer and we seem more like friends.
Family is for Life; in all my entire life, anyone who knows about the conflicts between my mum and me, they will just tell me 'oh please, u dun have to feel guilty, ur mum forced u to a corner, jus leave that house and live a life of ur own.'
I never leave, cos she's after all my mum, my siblings are still my siblings; we are family in this life, doesn't mean we will be again in the next, y not treasure what we have now.
u are still young, few yrs down the road, ur thinking will change. (",)
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Originally posted by HelloKittyFan:
All in all, it's actually a family issue; do what u feel best and have no regrets.
I been thru similar situation as you, my mum will rather side an outsider than her own child me, cos my character was different from those of my siblings.
Whatever I said, she won't listen, but if an outsider said the same things as me, she will listen.
Our relationship was pretty bad to the extend that she told me is either she or me in the same house.
Ever hear a parent telling her own child that you are wasting my electricity cos u are using lights to study for ur exams?
Now, years later, no one will actually believed that we have conflicts that bad; we have grown closer and we seem more like friends.
Family is for Life; in all my entire life, anyone who knows about the conflicts between my mum and me, they will just tell me 'oh please, u dun have to feel guilty, ur mum forced u to a corner, jus leave that house and live a life of ur own.'
I never leave, cos she's after all my mum, my siblings are still my siblings; we are family in this life, doesn't mean we will be again in the next, y not treasure what we have now.
u are still young, few yrs down the road, ur thinking will change. (",)
Thank You for sharing your life experiences... =) -
Originally posted by HelloKittyFan:
All in all, it's actually a family issue; do what u feel best and have no regrets.
I been thru similar situation as you, my mum will rather side an outsider than her own child me, cos my character was different from those of my siblings.
Whatever I said, she won't listen, but if an outsider said the same things as me, she will listen.
Our relationship was pretty bad to the extend that she told me is either she or me in the same house.
Ever hear a parent telling her own child that you are wasting my electricity cos u are using lights to study for ur exams?
Now, years later, no one will actually believed that we have conflicts that bad; we have grown closer and we seem more like friends.
Family is for Life; in all my entire life, anyone who knows about the conflicts between my mum and me, they will just tell me 'oh please, u dun have to feel guilty, ur mum forced u to a corner, jus leave that house and live a life of ur own.'
I never leave, cos she's after all my mum, my siblings are still my siblings; we are family in this life, doesn't mean we will be again in the next, y not treasure what we have now.
u are still young, few yrs down the road, ur thinking will change. (",)
Disturbingly, its not you who changed but your mum rite? Why does this kind of nonsense shit keep happening?
To T.S: B1tches like indo-gal are vile and vicious and once in the family she can and will try to do more damage esp she knows u dun like her. Try to remain in your mom's good books and tolerate indo-gal. A snake can only hide her true colors for so long. Actually I've seen daughters-in-law dominate their mothers-in-law, i.e. my big aunt. So sadly (or happily cos i hate all my backstabbing relatives), my dad has been "kicked out" of the family. Although my granny knows she is wrong today, she is too scared to "defect". Hope it never gets to that stage.
Good luck to you and I hope you can win over your mom soon. I think bithching to your mom about her at this point will backfire since the marriage is your mom's idea. You can't win her over with small points. You need indo-gal to make a big time mistake. After all indo-gal "did so much" for your mom. Just remain in your mom's good books and be aware if indo-gal bitches about you to your mom behind your back.
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Obviously there's some good points about that girl your mum favors.
And since your brother arn't complaining.. you are. So .. in actual fact.. that also means you are also a bitch yourself.
It's hard for a bitch to get along with another bitch. And that's the fact.
Since you are not in good terms with your brother anyway.. I don't understand why you need to kaypoh in their affairs ?
Is it because you just can't stand that girl getting more attention than you ?
If you want your family to listen to what you have to say.. you need to FIRST clean up YOUR act.
The same reason why you don't like that bitch .. is also the reason why your family don't wanna listen to you.
Why would anyone like a bitch anyway ? Just because she is a family bitch doesn't make her more likeable.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Obviously there's some good points about that girl your mum favors.
And since your brother arn't complaining.. you are. So .. in actual fact.. that also means you are also a bitch yourself.
It's hard for a bitch to get along with another bitch. And that's the fact.
Since you are not in good terms with your brother anyway.. I don't understand why you need to kaypoh in their affairs ?
Is it because you just can't stand that girl getting more attention than you ?
If you want your family to listen to what you have to say.. you need to FIRST clean up YOUR act.
The same reason why you don't like that bitch .. is also the reason why your family don't wanna listen to you.
Why would anyone like a bitch anyway ? Just because she is a family bitch doesn't make her more likeable.
Oh pls... You have not been reading properly havent you?Yes that indo bitch is marrying my bro and I dont care... She gets more attention, so? I get off the hook any time...
The thing is mum have been supporting reason no.8... read properly, don't be too dumb to judge, bitch...
It's your quote: It's hard for a bitch to get along with another bitch
so if that makes me a bitch, wouldnt that make you a bitch?
P.S. If you have no advises, pls don't comment and waste space... Geezzz..
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Originally posted by R3D3V1L:
Disturbingly, its not you who changed but your mum rite? Why does this kind of nonsense shit keep happening?
To T.S: B1tches like indo-gal are vile and vicious and once in the family she can and will try to do more damage esp she knows u dun like her. Try to remain in your mom's good books and tolerate indo-gal. A snake can only hide her true colors for so long. Actually I've seen daughters-in-law dominate their mothers-in-law, i.e. my big aunt. So sadly (or happily cos i hate all my backstabbing relatives), my dad has been "kicked out" of the family. Although my granny knows she is wrong today, she is too scared to "defect". Hope it never gets to that stage.
Good luck to you and I hope you can win over your mom soon. I think bithching to your mom about her at this point will backfire since the marriage is your mom's idea. You can't win her over with small points. You need indo-gal to make a big time mistake. After all indo-gal "did so much" for your mom. Just remain in your mom's good books and be aware if indo-gal bitches about you to your mom behind your back.
Hey I am not bitching about her behind my mums back... My mum always talks about how that indo bitch keeps 'complaining' behind her mother's back... And I mean like how enemies would do... I just told my mum, I dont like to listen to those stories... Other points, I didnt even mention to her...
Doesnt matter anyways, most likely when they get married, I'll move out and lead my own life... Anything bad happens, I'll just tell them "ok, but I've told you so..."
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Originally posted by White_SoulReaper:
Oh pls... You have not been reading properly havent you?Yes that indo bitch is marrying my bro and I dont care... She gets more attention, so? I get off the hook any time...
The thing is mum have been supporting reason no.8... read properly, don't be too dumb to judge, bitch...
It's your quote: It's hard for a bitch to get along with another bitch
so if that makes me a bitch, wouldnt that make you a bitch?
P.S. If you have no advises, pls don't comment and waste space... Geezzz..
Duh bitch.
You bitch about her bitching about her mom to your mom. And yet you also bitch about your mother didn't ya ? Now what does that makes all of us ?
Ain't we all a bunch of bitches yes ?
Get a life bitch. At least that bitch is marrying your brother.. why don't you go find yourself a nice man and go bitch about his mom ?
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Duh bitch.
You bitch about her bitching about her mom to your mom. And yet you also bitch about your mother didn't ya ? Now what does that makes all of us ?
Ain't we all a bunch of bitches yes ?
Get a life bitch. At least that bitch is marrying your brother.. why don't you go find yourself a nice man and go bitch about his mom ?
That indo bitch bitches about her mum with someone that her mum knows, a close friend, just to gain a little sympathy to push the wedding date closer...
I 'bitch' about my mum? really? I feel betrayed by her since she choose and outsider over me, her own daughter... Is that bitching about my mother? That indo bitch, really talk back behind her own mother's back and it is not just complaining about her mum...
I thought that a bitch like you would understand the difference... Oh well...
and no, we are not a bunch of bitches... If you declare and demean yourself as a bitch, then go ahead... I have self-respect in myself not to put myself in such a low position as you have...
Why are you so worked up on this case? Unless you are in the same position as that Indo bitch... What should I say, real bitches think alike...
Get a life? What life? This is part of my life... Maybe you dont understand the meaning of family...
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Originally posted by White_SoulReaper:
That indo bitch bitches about her mum with someone that her mum knows, a close friend, just to gain a little sympathy to push the wedding date closer...
I 'bitch' about my mum? really? I feel betrayed by her since she choose and outsider over me, her own daughter... Is that bitching about my mother? That indo bitch, really talk back behind her own mother's back and it is not just complaining about her mum...
I thought that a bitch like you would understand the difference... Oh well...
and no, we are not a bunch of bitches... If you declare and demean yourself as a bitch, then go ahead... I have self-respect in myself not to put myself in such a low position as you have...
Why are you so worked up on this case? Unless you are in the same position as that Indo bitch... What should I say, real bitches think alike...
Get a life? What life? This is part of my life... Maybe you dont understand the meaning of family...
No bitch.. because I was a bitch like you before.
I bitched about my older brother's choice of partners. I was a trouble maker and caused his breakup with his love one.
Then after that I found out that woman was pregnant with his child.. and had to abort the baby because the marriage fell through.
I'm just telling you.. you need to keep your nose out of his relationship. Because it's his life and if your mother supports his choice.. then so be it.
Your bitching only brand you as the trouble maker. so why should anyone listen to you ?
Just because you are the daughter doesn't mean your mother should side with you.
No, his life is not your life. And your meddling with his life is uncalled for.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
No bitch.. because I was a bitch like you before.
I bitched about my older brother's choice of partners. I was a trouble maker and caused his breakup with his love one.
Then after that I found out that woman was pregnant with his child.. and had to abort the baby because the marriage fell through.
I'm just telling you.. you need to keep your nose out of his relationship. Because it's his life and if your mother supports his choice.. then so be it.
Your bitching only brand you as the trouble maker. so why should anyone listen to you ?
Just because you are the daughter doesn't mean your mother should side with you.
No, his life is not your life. And your meddling with his life is uncalled for.
Oh pls.... I am no Bitch like you... You have not even been reading properly...1st of all, my bro will not just go and bang anyone before marriage and it's NOT HIS choice to be married, it's my MUM's... Y? Cause my mum despo my bro over 30 havent married... My bro has been hinting that he doesnt wanna get married, but due to his guilt for his past mistakes, he just didnt persist when my mum dismisses it... Yea it's his choice all right...
And since you have not been reading properly, since when did I bitch around about her? You said I did... i mentioned to my mum that I DIDNT LIKE LISTENING to my mum talking about that indo bitch talking bad behind her own mum's back...
Your situation and mine are different... For you your situation is bad, since it is YOUR fault, for me, there's nothing really I could do...
Choosing that Indo Bitch over me is wrong, not because of kinship because wat she is doing is wrong... It's about loyalty... If that Indo Bitch can talk behind her own mum that way, when she marries into the family, hell knows what she could do...
You dont even know what's going on and you linking my case to your own sad story? How dumb can you be?
so buzz off and find someone else to rid your guilt bitch...
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Duh bitch.
You bitch about her bitching about her mom to your mom. And yet you also bitch about your mother didn't ya ? Now what does that makes all of us ?
Ain't we all a bunch of bitches yes ?
Get a life bitch. At least that bitch is marrying your brother.. why don't you go find yourself a nice man and go bitch about his mom ?
Nuts. If we are all bitches then you should change ur name to "jojoBITCH"
edit: everytime a thread starts its inevitable to expect more bitching from other people rather than the useful advice you're looking for.