is he worth it?
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I actually have this guy friend whom i am very close with...since last week when i ask him out or msg him he would reject or take very long to reply..then i was very sad lo..coz that time i also had a tiff with another friend of mine..but in the end i put my anger into him i ask him if he was avoiding me..he say no..*btw he is attached* so i ask him when can we meet out relax..coz i have been pretty stress lately..so he say when he free lo..but then..here the thing..he will almost everyday meet his gf after school..*we both student* and he wont forsake his gf becoz of anyone..and just to let you guys know..his gf hates me to the core, coz she think i wan to snatch him..and if his gf knew i am with him she will blow his top n want to break with him..which is why he always need to lie whenever we go out.. -.-" so i tell him say like that 1 month meet once la?in that case mind as well dun meet..then he say ok..
but after that somewat ok liao lo..but when i ask him out few days ago again...he say he didnt wan to see me liao..coz he dont wan to lie to his gf..he say if wan go out must tell her...but then!!his gf hate me liao..so its totally impossible his gf will say yes de ma! -.-
i was actually very sad..coz he is relly my bestie..damn close buddy..i actually phone him to plead him not to ignore me...but he has been very firm in his decision coz he doesnt wan to lie to his gf..
is this person worth to be my friend?he help me alot throughout the times i know him...he is very supportive and hardworking..now that he is gone i suddenly feel like my onli pillar has fallen...haix
help me :(
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you can call me out..
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so ur trying to steal him lar?
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Originally posted by Daisuke-kun:
so ur trying to steal him lar?
i am not la..i just feel comfortable out with him..that's all la..-.- seriously reply plz... >.< -
You are putting him in a dilemma by selfishly asking him to accompany you although you know his girlfriend has issues with that.
Will a good friend do that?
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Originally posted by themoment86:
i am not la..i just feel comfortable out with him..that's all la..-.- seriously reply plz... >.<
then draw the line between a fren and more than a gd fren. how would you feel if your bf(if you have one) goes out with a girl alone? then you will know how his gf would have felt -
so...i should just leave this friend of mine for good lo?is that what u are trying to say?selfish...if i am selfish...he and his gf break long ago liao lo...
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Originally posted by rlsh07:
then draw the line between a fren and more than a gd fren. how would you feel if your bf(if you have one) goes out with a girl alone? then you will know how his gf would have felt
so i should cut all contact with him once and for all lo?if my bf goes out with a girl alone but they are gd friend..actually..i wouldnt mind lo...once in awhile is ok de..but her gf is forbids all meeting..not even once in a month or maybe a year -
Originally posted by themoment86:
so...i should just leave this friend of mine for good lo?is that what u are trying to say?selfish...if i am selfish...he and his gf break long ago liao lo...
wat do u mean? that sounds like a threat that you want to snatch him though. i just feel that u need to stand in his position n try to think abt the matter. if you want to go out with him, go out in a grp then. less conflict and prevent misunderstanding with his gf -
Originally posted by themoment86:
so i should cut all contact with him once and for all lo?if my bf goes out with a girl alone but they are gd friend..actually..i wouldnt mind lo...once in awhile is ok de..but her gf is forbids all meeting..not even once in a month or maybe a year
dun say it so soon. dun be so sure of yourself though. i think u have to stand in her gf's position to think though. there is this girl craving for her bf's attention. u think she would feel gd abt it? u want to go out with him? you want to hang out with him? go in a group then -
Originally posted by themoment86:
so...i should just leave this friend of mine for good lo?is that what u are trying to say?selfish...if i am selfish...he and his gf break long ago liao lo...
So you do have the intention to break them up?
Anyway, it is really up to him. I also told my husband that I don't want him to meet up with other girls one-to-one without me being there. His gf might have a different thinking from you...if you don't mind your bf next time meeting one-to-one wif other girls doesn't mean that she doesn't mind. And if your friend wants to listen to what his gf says, there is nothing much you can do but to leave him alone and don't make things difficult for him if you still value the friendship.
I am sure you have other friends you can count on to listen to you when you are having problems, rite? Why must die die stick to him? Gfs will usually get a priority one la.
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ignore him then... he will never go out with you nor he loves you... so how to help? Get another pillar like agender... he is volunteering himself...
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kkelian......
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-.-" i am not craving for him...i just feel happy and comfortable out with him nia lehx...and i am not selfish..if i am selfish last time when he interested in me i would have let him be my bf liao...
zzz
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Originally posted by themoment86:
-.-" i am not craving for him...i just feel happy and comfortable out with him nia lehx...and i am not selfish..if i am selfish last time when he interested in me i would have let him be my bf liao...
zzz
but that was when he does not have any gf? or he already haf gf le?. i hope you can understand his situation too. then go out in a grp then? why do you want to go out with him alone then? -
Originally posted by themoment86:
-.-" i am not craving for him...i just feel happy and comfortable out with him nia lehx...and i am not selfish..if i am selfish last time when he interested in me i would have let him be my bf liao...
zzz
then just find someone else you can be happy with...just tell yourself he is off limits liaoz...it is sad but too bad you can't do anything much about this since he already seems quite decisive about his decisions...
If really still want to meet up maybe organise group outings and get the gf to come along...that's the only compromise I can think of...
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good friends don’t force their pals into a difficult position.
right now your buddy’s hands are tied because indirectly, you’re asking him to choose between his girl and you.we're all human beings, é‡�色轻å�‹ is our nature.
if you’re a real pal, then don’t make it worse.
unless it’s a life/death situation, please don’t expect him to drop her at your whim.
my buddy and I abide by these rules, maybe you guys can try:
- for serious r/s we will set up a meeting and introduce the new man or woman in our lives out of respect. only once. no point for everyone to hang out regularly, because based on experience, gfs and bfs will definitely feel threatened for some stupid reasons.- priority always given to family and partners 24/7. only Sundays are ‘all pals no partners’ allowed coffee sessions.
btw have you tried to befriend his girl? if you can convince her you pose no threat to her relationship, then life will be easier.
imho, it’s very natural for his gf to behave this way. it’s her territorial instinct though I think you know already.on the other hand if you’re interested in your friend, want him for yourself and this is your way of competing for his attention, then I think the verdict is out.
for him it's better her than you.
*pats* -
Originally posted by rainee:
then just find someone else you can be happy with...just tell yourself he is off limits liaoz...it is sad but too bad you can't do anything much about this since he already seems quite decisive about his decisions...
If really still want to meet up maybe organise group outings and get the gf to come along...that's the only compromise I can think of...
i am only happy with him lehx..seems like we share alot of common stuff..ya..when he is interested in me that time he already with his gf liao..and its kind impossible to go out in grp..coz we dun have common friends...asking his gf out is worst..his gf will say sarcastic stuff about me..when angry even worst..vulgarity also come out...now i see his gf face i just feel like giving it a slap la..where was once when his gf got so piss off she threw things at me...damn dulan..i didnt even do anything with my friend la..kaox -
Originally posted by themoment86:
i am only happy with him lehx..seems like we share alot of common stuff..ya..when he is interested in me that time he already with his gf liao..and its kind impossible to go out in grp..coz we dun have common friends...asking his gf out is worst..his gf will say sarcastic stuff about me..when angry even worst..vulgarity also come out...now i see his gf face i just feel like giving it a slap la..where was once when his gf got so piss off she threw things at me...damn dulan..i didnt even do anything with my friend la..kaox
but then now he has made his choice. other than him, can u find other frens? -
I can be ur friend. ^ ^
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Originally posted by BadzMaro:
I can be ur friend. ^ ^
unbelieveable.
*salutes BadzMaro and Agenda*
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Originally posted by themoment86:
i am only happy with him lehx..seems like we share alot of common stuff..ya..when he is interested in me that time he already with his gf liao..and its kind impossible to go out in grp..coz we dun have common friends...asking his gf out is worst..his gf will say sarcastic stuff about me..when angry even worst..vulgarity also come out...now i see his gf face i just feel like giving it a slap la..where was once when his gf got so piss off she threw things at me...damn dulan..i didnt even do anything with my friend la..kaoxMaybe his gf found out that he was interested in you even though he was already attached to her...let me ask you, if the situation is reversed and you are the gf, and your bf kept going out with a girl whom you know he is interested in, wouldn't you have shown a similar reaction?
Women are like cats sometimes...we are pretty territorial when it comes to our significant others. You will prolly understand next time when you are attached.
So now since you said group outing is out, the best thing to do is not force him into a corner le...friends should be understanding..find new friends and who knows you will find someone else who can make you happier than him...
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haha..i dunno when will i meet somebody like him..seriously..in my whole life..he is the only person whom i can really be myself without having to act...most of my other friends are either working or not so close de..go out also no common topic or interest to do..will be damn bored..its not that i nv try b4..its just...cannot...ever since he left me i have been staying at home or going home right after school..life has been damn boring...i also hope i can find someone else like him/her...but..tough la...and we have got no feeling or each other...other then gd bud nia..
he say ever since the day i tell him say i do not wish to meet him anymore, my status from a important person has become more of like stranger le...he can treat me like a stranger...after so many things we gone thru..right now..i am nobody to him...i dun even knw shld i cry or laugh...
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Originally posted by themoment86:
haha..i dunno when will i meet somebody like him..seriously..in my whole life..he is the only person whom i can really be myself without having to act...most of my other friends are either working or not so close de..go out also no common topic or interest to do..will be damn bored..its not that i nv try b4..its just...cannot...ever since he left me i have been staying at home or going home right after school..life has been damn boring...i also hope i can find someone else like him/her...but..tough la...and we have got no feeling or each other...other then gd bud nia..
he say ever since the day i tell him say i do not wish to meet him anymore, my status from a important person has become more of like stranger le...he can treat me like a stranger...after so many things we gone thru..right now..i am nobody to him...i dun even knw shld i cry or laugh...
He has already made it clear that you are just a stranger to him...nothing much you can do then...
Friends come and go...
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The problem comes from his gf, which is natural.
He does not have the strength, courage, ability, to keep his gf assured. Not his fault because it is not easy, and it largely depends on his gf's maturity and confidence.
His gf is afraid of losing him, and sees you as a threat, therefore jealousy arises. Don't expect her to believe that there is nothing going on btw you and him. She don't believe means she don't, and theres nothing anyone can do anything about it.
So leave him, ....... alone. You will cause the two of them to quarrel.
Don't write him off, just leave him alone.
In the meantime, he is just someone that you used to know. Singapore is a small place, just move on, and one day you will surely bump into him.