my gf
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hello all. this is my story.
i don't know whether the problem lies with me or her. i'll just try to summarise.
i've been with her for almost 8 months already. she's a nice lady, been nice to me and everything. but as time goes, she seems to change. not drastic change but different from what she used to be when i knew her. she has been lying to me about almost everything since the start of the relationship, and i forgave her everytime and start afresh cause i want this relationship work out. now she tells me everything willingly without me asking her, but i still doubt her somehow. i don't know why she gave me the feeling that she's doing something else behind my back. my mind always run wild, thinking of the impossibilities. is it because of her past doings which made me into this state now?
at first, i wasn't possessive because i thought it won't work out. as my love grew for her, i was somehow possessive because of her playful nature. and then she told me about my wrongdoings. and ok, i changed, gave her freedom, let her be wild and everything. i like her because of her character.
nowadays she treats me like a 'ball'. when she needs me, she will call me. when im not needed, i won't receive any msg/call from her. she doesn't inform me where she is or anything, and i don't ask about her of anything. so, we are just like 'friends' with title of 'bf and gf'.
here's the one of the incidents which happened recently.
about a month ago, i found out about her online conversation (chat log) with a guy which she denies it and told me it was her friend. i won't discuss the content of the conversation (if you know what i mean) and both of them had webcamed together... and i chose to believed her for one more time and forgave her.
and then just recently, she was chatting online as usual and i was doing my stuff (don't really wanna care who she chatting with but my heart wanted to know). but on that night, somehow i had this curiousity, and i turned my head to look at her conversation (with a guy) and on webcam, she quickly closed the window.
why did she want to do that?
sometimes she will tell me, this guy that guy tried to woo her and said wanna marry her for just knowing her 3 days and blah blah. i was proud of her cause i told her if she isn't nice, no one will wanna woo her. but why does she give other guys chances to woo her? why don't she just tell them she's attached? i mean if she tells them that and they try to woo her, im okay with it. she has the right to choose. but since we are together now, she did not tell them about me. and speaking of that, i was named as 'friend' infront of her friends and not 'bf'. when her friends called, she will tell them 'im going out with my friend'. i was like 'huh?'.
there are other incidents and i don't know how to continue..
i mean does she respect this relationship at all? or am i putting in too much effort?
i understand that a relationship should have mutual trust and respect. but my trust for her is depleting. is it me or her? am i thinking too much?
p.s. we are both about mid-20's already
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hmm lets say hypothetically, she gives another guy a blow job.
so whenever she kisses you, it's like a dick kissing your face?
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Originally posted by fatone:
hmm lets say hypothetically, she gives another guy a blow job.
so whenever she kisses you, it's like a dick kissing your face?
Fuck man, u damn bastard sia.
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I think the prob is her.
U shld dump her. She doesnt respect u.
If i were to say things based on wad u wrote.
This is it.
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Seriously. Dump her. Don't find any excuese for yourself to keep her. There's a better plant out there!
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Originally posted by seotiblizzard:
Fuck man, u damn bastard sia.
I'm just saying.
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Shes enjoying the chase by other men, and hinting you that you are not the only for her, there are other suitors out there, she has the ability to choose and play around. And I dont think she regard you as her boyfriend. That part sucks anyway.
I think she is trying to test your patience, so that you would initiate the break up without her telling you that. If you don't, no worries for her still, as you can continue to be her spare tyre/slave since she knows you have the hots for her.
i mean does she respect this relationship at all? or am i putting in too much effort?
no.
yes.i understand that a relationship should have mutual trust and respect. but my trust for her is depleting. is it me or her? am i thinking too much?
It is her la....1 time, 2 times, 3 times, 4 times, ............ How many times more do you wanna forgive her?
Time for a dump, dude! Shes not ready for a committed r/s i guess....
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declare game over & move on.
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wth. . .
don jump to conclusion juz yet. .
have her to sit down with ya. . and have a nice talk. . .
open up to each other. . u are mid 20's already. . it shouldnt be so difficult to open up. . .
lucks to u man -
I duno..
This is ur part of the story, I cannot simply give judgement by your statement only.
I agree with Maskedangel. Tok to her, u deserve to know what's on her mind & she, a chance to speak up. Dun give her a death penalty - yet.
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She is too much for you to handle.
Go back to her when she is 30.
That is where she need you more than you need her.
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hey dude, this story really looks like my. my ex is something like your girl man!
a piece of advice though, just dumb this kind of girls, they sucks. the best thing they can do, is to corrupted a person's life. -
Originally posted by limpper:
hey dude, this story really looks like my. my ex is something like your girl man!
a piece of advice though, just dumb this kind of girls, they sucks. the best thing they can do, is to corrupted a person's life.everyone deserves a chance. . .
relax man. . .
let them talk it out 1st -
she's taking advantage of your nice man personality and also like a spare tire to lean back on. make a move bro
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agree with the rest. do the dump. if she loves u she will come back to u, if not she probably isn't worth it anyway.
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Dude, give ur love to some other girl who can appretiate and treasure u. Rem u can love the girl, but u still must love urself. Do u wish to still be single and start all over @ 30? Trust me any rship like the one u described cant last long.
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Most likely ppl who ask u to dump this girl here or ask u to move on are ppl who are kids or have not been thru such an experience....Me myself i have been thru a relationship like wat u are describing...except it is much worse...whereby my gf would party outside and come back home in the morning...when i offered to drive her back home after party..she even refuse it...saying that as she is partying outside....it is only right for her not to mention that she is attached as she wun be getting free meals and drinks.....End of the day, to go thru such a relationship is quite simple...First of all, the last thing u want is to stress over the things she does behind ur back. Coz whether u can accept the things she is doing now or not....She is going to do it all the same.....U might as well, ask urself....What is the limitation u expect her to be at. And if end of the line, after discussing out with her...She either wun accept or she accuse u of being oversuspicious...U just have to choose whether to move on with ur wife or just continue on. If u continue on, dun expect to change anything about her...you just got to live with it. End of the day, u really need to ask urself wat is it tat u want..LOL
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Oh last part typo error...i mean move on with ur "life" not "wife"...lol
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if anyone is advising twiggies to move on or dump her, they are not kids.. neither are they inexperienced.. i choose to believe that they are the experienced ones instead.. although its very easy to say, but so hard to do.. outsiders see "the picture" better coz the ones involved(the victims) are too emotionally attached to make a proper judgement n decision, and cant bear to end it..
both senerios of twiggies n maxsee sound so sad, really feel for u guys.. i can understand how it feels n it must suck..
still i agree with them dude.. ur gfs DONT respect u at all by doing those things that u describe.. she is probably just hanging on to you coz she havent really found or like another guy that much yet, but she IS looking out .. n when she does, she will dump u without a blink of the eye, trust me..
a girl that really loves n care for u wont be like that... simple as that.. the truth hurts.. besides, ur still young.. as time goes by n when u found a much better girl who loves u.. look back on this and u will lauff at urself n think y u didnt end it earlier..
its gonna be hard.. but time will heal.. rather than u keep on suffering n accepting all her bullshit in silence..
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oh i forgot to add.. pple are fan jian.. maybe if u initiate a break or smth, she will reflect on her actions(not everyone will) n treat u nicer?? just an assumption.. either way.. wish u n maxsee all the best
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yea if you love her let her go if she come back to you then shes yours~ but never ever neglect your own feeling just to giv in to her.. you are not being nice to her at all believe me...
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thanks all for the advise. all is good.
yes. it's only one side of the story but i did my best.
i posted this topic last midnight and my eyes were twitching. i guess this is it. i just broke up with her early in the afternoon. she initiated it.
she called and i was glad to receive her call. but she just said 'let's break up'. i really can't accept the fact that it happened so fast. i never knew it would happen now. i mean i wasn't prepared and now this happen.
i asked her for the reason for breakup, she told me saying she can't stand my character. i was like.. i mean it happened too fast. i did not do anything wrong to her. i really do not know what to do now. my mind just went blank.
now, we do not even have the chance to even sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk together. i don't know. i just can't pick myself up now. everything seems to happen too fast. im lost, can't concentrate on what i am doing now. my heart seems to hurt, tears just roll even when im typing this. most of my time i spent was with her and now, i do not know where to even start. i know you all will tell me to be a man and move on.
i asked her if we can spend time together for one last day. she agreed. i hope to leave a good memory behind.
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Originally posted by twiggies:
thanks all for the advise. all is good.
yes. it's only one side of the story but i did my best.
i posted this topic last midnight and my eyes were twitching. i guess this is it. i just broke up with her early in the afternoon. she initiated it.
she called and i was glad to receive her call. but she just said 'let's break up'. i really can't accept the fact that it happened so fast. i never knew it would happen now. i mean i wasn't prepared and now this happen.
i asked her for the reason for breakup, she told me saying she can't stand my character. i was like.. i mean it happened too fast. i did not do anything wrong to her. i really do not know what to do now. my mind just went blank.
now, we do not even have the chance to even sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk together. i don't know. i just can't pick myself up now. everything seems to happen too fast. im lost, can't concentrate on what i am doing now. my heart seems to hurt, tears just roll even when im typing this. most of my time i spent was with her and now, i do not know where to even start. i know you all will tell me to be a man and move on.
i asked her if we can spend time together for one last day. she agreed. i hope to leave a good memory behind.
I understand how you feel. But since she has decided, its really time to move on. -
If it would help you achieve closure maybe u should spend time together for a last day. But I have a feeling that this isn't a good idea..
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Seems like she's already ready to break up with you before you even talk to her about it. She says that she can't stand your character. This is obviously an excuse for her to find another guy she's interested in. Once she's tired of you, she'll move on to another guy.
Well, if you guys still wanna spend the last time together, better make a clean break after that and stop having lingering thoughts of her getting back to you. This type of girl don't deserve you, because she's obviously not your type.