if u hv a frenz like this...
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i hv a frenz.. she was demanding, arrogrant, stubborn, hv attitude problems and sort of bad habits... but i still treat her as best frenz cos it's a bond that is hard to build up.. we knew each other for abt 8yrs plus...
1) whenever she call me, she tok less than 5 mins and after the main qns she asked, she hanged up without sayin byessss
2) i gtg out with our frenz, if didnt ask her along, she will angry
3) everytime meet up, she back out last min and dun even admit she's in wrong.. jus a sms " aiyo, i cant meet u liao, meet up other day" where I had already out my hse n gtg to reach the destination
4) whenever asked her to decide where to hv supper, she said she dun wan to think.. then wen i name out some places, she dun wan go either sayin far from her hse or the plcs very unhygiene etc
5)she is straightforward n everytime say things dun bother hw others feel.. sometime her words are harsh but she jus dun care n say whatever she wan
her bf also cannot stand her... but her bf love her alot so wont wan break up
1) she forbid her bf meet up his frenz without bringin her along
2) her bf see gals (it's normal for guy what, see no harm right), she get angry
3) her bf wear short pants out, she instructed her bf go hm change a long pant immediately if nt she dun wan go out wif him
4) she always asked her bf do this do that as her bf is her maid
in this situation, what will u do? i dun wan to break off this friendship but reali angry with her now for her attitude where she dun even realise she's in wrong..... can anyone help!!! -
you've been best friends with her for 8 years. does she always treat you that bad or it just happens recently ?
have you talk to her (a nice talk, not an angry one) about her bad attitudes ? and that you are annoyed with that attitudes.
if you are really best friends, she'd listen. just like when i did something bad and my best friend was angry like hell to me, she wrote me a letter saying that she didn't like the way i behave. and i was glad 'cos i realised that she cared for me, that's why she reminded me.
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Originally posted by lv_gal:i hv a frenz.. she was demanding, arrogrant, stubborn, hv attitude problems and sort of bad habits... but i still treat her as best frenz cos it's a bond that is hard to build up.. we knew each other for abt 8yrs plus...
1) whenever she call me, she tok less than 5 mins and after the main qns she asked, she hanged up without sayin byessss
2) i gtg out with our frenz, if didnt ask her along, she will angry
3) everytime meet up, she back out last min and dun even admit she's in wrong.. jus a sms " aiyo, i cant meet u liao, meet up other day" where I had already out my hse n gtg to reach the destination
4) whenever asked her to decide where to hv supper, she said she dun wan to think.. then wen i name out some places, she dun wan go either sayin far from her hse or the plcs very unhygiene etc
5)she is straightforward n everytime say things dun bother hw others feel.. sometime her words are harsh but she jus dun care n say whatever she wan
her bf also cannot stand her... but her bf love her alot so wont wan break up
1) she forbid her bf meet up his frenz without bringin her along
2) her bf see gals (it's normal for guy what, see no harm right), she get angry
3) her bf wear short pants out, she instructed her bf go hm change a long pant immediately if nt she dun wan go out wif him
4) she always asked her bf do this do that as her bf is her maid
in this situation, what will u do? i dun wan to break off this friendship but reali angry with her now for her attitude where she dun even realise she's in wrong..... can anyone help!!!
If she is someone like this, she wouldn't even be a best friend to me. To be, friendship isn't just about building through years - its about his/her overall personality.
P.S: Is she a Scorpio or an Aries?
Cheers -
possesive fren??? hmm....she expect to do everything with u mah......she consider u as her close fren? i dunno...
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Leave her alone...
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she sounds like a very childish person to me...
i normally avoid this type of people -
Seriously, you can be friend with her for 8 years ... Amazing. Advice, time to let go of this "friend" ,,, ,,, And hey, I think you must be one patient person.
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Sounds like a self-centred person.
Point out what you think about her bad habits. Sometimes, we don't realise our shortcomings until someones tells us.
Let them work out whatever happens between her boyfriend and herself between themselves, unless asked to. -
Somehow, I know someone exactly the same pattern, but I dun regard her as a fren, anyway, she's a LeoOriginally posted by Yunhaier: If she is someone like this, she wouldn't even be a best friend to me. To be, friendship isn't just about building through years - its about his/her overall personality.
P.S: Is she a Scorpio or an Aries?
Cheers
So which zodiac? Hehe... *Scully happens to be the same person* -
she is all along been like that? have to got to the basicstructure of this friendship in the beginning....
what did the r/s started off with?there must be some kind of social exchange..otherwise it wont last for 8 years....
see if the structure is still there.. otherwise hard to maintain the r/s... and the fact that u brought this matter up..u kind of asking yrself if u still wanna be friends with her now. -
these problems occured when she started to steady wif her current bf abt 2yrs ago...cos her bf always gif in to her n let her think that as a frend of her, i will gif in to her too... i used to be but my patience had reached limit....
she used to listen to what i said..but nw no.. she will feel annoyed if i told her that i dislike her way etc...so i doubt writing to her do help...
i treasure this friendship alot so i nv thought of leaving her despite her arrogrant attitudes.... n this hw i carry my 8yrs frenzhip wif her......but my patience reali reached limit... what can i do? i wan her to changed but will she listen... sianz..... -
Originally posted by lv_gal:these problems occured when she started to steady wif her current bf abt 2yrs ago...cos her bf always gif in to her n let her think that as a frend of her, i will gif in to her too... i used to be but my patience had reached limit....
she used to listen to what i said..but nw no.. she will feel annoyed if i told her that i dislike her way etc...so i doubt writing to her do help...
i treasure this friendship alot so i nv thought of leaving her despite her arrogrant attitudes.... n this hw i carry my 8yrs frenzhip wif her......but my patience reali reached limit... what can i do? i wan her to changed but will she listen... sianz..... Its the same for relationship.
When its soured, regardless of length together, because what you only treasured and remembered is basically the past. You can't always allow the past to substitute for ridiculous future.
One very important thing about friendship is that: You regard her as best friend, does she in return? I have a very good friend who has been years as well, backstabbed & lame me to hell. Then it has been degenerated till normal friends now.
BECAUSE OF GIRLS! *Pui*
Sometimes, the appearance of woman could so easy to ruin friendship between guys. Although nothing wrong with woman generally, its has alot to do with his own personality.
Verdict?
Move on with your life.
Cheers -
I think the problem lies with her upbring.Originally posted by lv_gal:i hv a frenz.. she was demanding, arrogrant, stubborn, hv attitude problems and sort of bad habits... but i still treat her as best frenz cos it's a bond that is hard to build up.. we knew each other for abt 8yrs plus...
1) whenever she call me, she tok less than 5 mins and after the main qns she asked, she hanged up without sayin byessss
2) i gtg out with our frenz, if didnt ask her along, she will angry
3) everytime meet up, she back out last min and dun even admit she's in wrong.. jus a sms " aiyo, i cant meet u liao, meet up other day" where I had already out my hse n gtg to reach the destination
4) whenever asked her to decide where to hv supper, she said she dun wan to think.. then wen i name out some places, she dun wan go either sayin far from her hse or the plcs very unhygiene etc
5)she is straightforward n everytime say things dun bother hw others feel.. sometime her words are harsh but she jus dun care n say whatever she wan
her bf also cannot stand her... but her bf love her alot so wont wan break up
1) she forbid her bf meet up his frenz without bringin her along
2) her bf see gals (it's normal for guy what, see no harm right), she get angry
3) her bf wear short pants out, she instructed her bf go hm change a long pant immediately if nt she dun wan go out wif him
4) she always asked her bf do this do that as her bf is her maid
in this situation, what will u do? i dun wan to break off this friendship but reali angry with her now for her attitude where she dun even realise she's in wrong..... can anyone help!!!
Only thru lost of value things will make such person change.
Life is a choice.
If u cannot take it, may as well just cool down for a while
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Hey ur so called 'best fried' very scary leh. How come she like tat? Have u ever try to talk to her. I mean give her some understanding tat wat she did is wrong.Originally posted by lv_gal:i hv a frenz.. she was demanding, arrogrant, stubborn, hv attitude problems and sort of bad habits... but i still treat her as best frenz cos it's a bond that is hard to build up.. we knew each other for abt 8yrs plus...
1) whenever she call me, she tok less than 5 mins and after the main qns she asked, she hanged up without sayin byessss
2) i gtg out with our frenz, if didnt ask her along, she will angry
3) everytime meet up, she back out last min and dun even admit she's in wrong.. jus a sms " aiyo, i cant meet u liao, meet up other day" where I had already out my hse n gtg to reach the destination
4) whenever asked her to decide where to hv supper, she said she dun wan to think.. then wen i name out some places, she dun wan go either sayin far from her hse or the plcs very unhygiene etc
5)she is straightforward n everytime say things dun bother hw others feel.. sometime her words are harsh but she jus dun care n say whatever she wan
her bf also cannot stand her... but her bf love her alot so wont wan break up
1) she forbid her bf meet up his frenz without bringin her along
2) her bf see gals (it's normal for guy what, see no harm right), she get angry
3) her bf wear short pants out, she instructed her bf go hm change a long pant immediately if nt she dun wan go out wif him
4) she always asked her bf do this do that as her bf is her maid
in this situation, what will u do? i dun wan to break off this friendship but reali angry with her now for her attitude where she dun even realise she's in wrong..... can anyone help!!!
I think if u really think tat she is ur best friend, u should remind her for good. Dun let her attitude take over ur friendship. U does not feel depress meh if u near her? -
Well..... as a friend you should let her know that the way she treat you and her Bf is not making both of you happy ... YOU as a FRIEND should let her know that ... whether she like it or not... you have to tell her... cos ... YOU are her friend.... YOu know true friends don't come easily so if you really treasure her... let her know her faults and ask her to IMPROVE on it... want her to change overnight it is impossible... but you try to let her know ... if she gets angry after you make known to her... tell her... "I TREAT you as a friend then i tell you loh... " but if she still don realise wat she do is making you upset.... well.... just remind her again.. don get piss off when she gets angry with you ... be patience with her... cos i guess she is still very imature in her thinking ... she is just like a small little gal... so... try to be patience loh... and always think of the good side of her...
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well i think u have revealed the main of the problem. that is the pampering from her bf.
i have to say its how her bf gave her that chance to change towards this sort of behaviour. my ex was once like that but i stood my ground cos i tot it was unreasonable and she said i didnt love her good enuff to do all that.
however as friends, u may have talked to her but i think u have to let her know that u are concerned as friends and hope that she listens at least to wat u have to say. she may be thinking that u are insulting her in a way (cos of her "new" thinking) and not actually listen to you at all.
U may need help from people ard her as well, esp her bf. but i think it may go seriously wrong if she sees it in the bad way, but do have a talk to her bf if u can and find out what he thinks. if he is okie about it then i think u may have a hard problem to solve cos it may be the main fuel towards her "new and improved" behaviour.
she is a lucky person to have u as friend.
Good luck and all the best in trying to talk to her.
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her bf cannot stand her too but he endure jus cos he love her... everytime they quarrelled, my frenz will initiate e break up with her bf...when i knew it, i console her bf to forgive n forget if he love her.. we all know (even our frenz) her attitude is like tat n she WONT listen to all explaination... she jus do e way she think is right.... despite her attitude, we still treat her well... but somehow patience got limit mah......
i nv sms or tok to her for 4days liao... cos she mk mi veri angry on last sat where she last min back out our date again without satisfactory reason... but heard from our frenz, she did sms him n ask "am i still angry wif her".... she aso hv e thought of ordering food n deliver to my workplace... well, somehow feel tat e good side of her(at least she kn she's in wrong or wat).. heard this, my anger had supressed. but i dun wan to tk e initiative to sms her if nt she will think that she is right all along... (tat what she always think of whenever i sms her first)
so what can i do nw? -
Maybe u can wait for her to sms u first, but sooner or later i think either one of u will start to looking for each other. I think she is really lucky to have u as a best friend. I think she is only immature, but with this incident hope she can know tat she was wrong n willing to change for good to be a good best fren for u too. All the best for u...Originally posted by lv_gal:her bf cannot stand her too but he endure jus cos he love her... everytime they quarrelled, my frenz will initiate e break up with her bf...when i knew it, i console her bf to forgive n forget if he love her.. we all know (even our frenz) her attitude is like tat n she WONT listen to all explaination... she jus do e way she think is right.... despite her attitude, we still treat her well... but somehow patience got limit mah......
i nv sms or tok to her for 4days liao... cos she mk mi veri angry on last sat where she last min back out our date again without satisfactory reason... but heard from our frenz, she did sms him n ask "am i still angry wif her".... she aso hv e thought of ordering food n deliver to my workplace... well, somehow feel tat e good side of her(at least she kn she's in wrong or wat).. heard this, my anger had supressed. but i dun wan to tk e initiative to sms her if nt she will think that she is right all along... (tat what she always think of whenever i sms her first)
so what can i do nw?
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her bf and you are spoiling her.
for friends like that, i wouldnt let them have what they want easily. -
i admit maybe partly my fault cos i spoilted her by giving in to her n have tolerant on her... but arent frenz r to be like this... if u keep quarrellin wif ur frenz, arent the friendship will turn sour...Originally posted by www:her bf and you are spoiling her.
for friends like that, i wouldnt let them have what they want easily.
i'm nt scare of her or wat, i jus dun wan any quarrelin in our friendship... i tolerate her, had patience on her jus to porolong this friendship...
well, maybe the method i use is wrong.. but hw many of us actually will can porolong a friendship with everyday quarrelling, conflicts etc.. one of us must give in.. applies to r/s too..
i'm easy -gtg person so i always give in to her cos i dun like to quarrel wif ppl...
i nv knew that she will tk me (or even our frenz n her bf) for granted...i nw jus hope that she will realised the importance of this friendship n hw much effort i put to porolong this friendship... -
i admire your tolerence.
nobody likes to quarrel, let alone with one of your good friends. but it is important to note that friendship is about helping one another in life.
and what you are doing is not helping her at all. who knows, u might make her take everything even more for granted.
would anyone be bothered to find out it is like to be living in a war if he/she has been born in a all-peaceful environment?
similarly, not many are gifted with the initiative to realise what they have until they lose it. based on how your friend is behaving, do u think she has this ability?
sometimes, friends getting into serious conversation and argument is not a bad thing after all. it helps one another to learn what is expected of themselves. -
hello,
well after reading wat u updated i have to say that u need a serious talk wh\ith her bf first. firstly, she knows that by initiating a break-up, the bf will go back to her and give in. she knows how to deal with the cards. Now she know that this deal will always work when she wants her way. If her bf really loves her and wanna be with her too, he has to change her approach and also make his stand. if she doesn't take soft, then he has to go hard. make his stand firmly but not angrily. he has to tell her himself that it cannot work like this anymore and she has to change.
ask the bf if he is willing to see her br like that for the rest of his life probably.?? treating not only him but every other person around like that as well. personally i would not.. esp towards my buddies. and that's wat i did, i made my stand to my ex and told her exactly wat i will do and not do for her...
the bf has to realise that its not about doing things for her but for himself. if he has to scold her then he should. if she doesnt listen or doesnt talk to him about it after he brings it up, i can be sure he doesnt stand a place in her heart anymore and probably showing off to other people about her "slave" bf. this relationship will never work deifinitely.
howvever, please do not give up hope. as the chinese saying goes, saving a person is more than building a seven storey pagoda.. nothing is ever more impt in helping others when u can, esp to those who matter to you.
please keep on trying. -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:P.S: Is she a Scorpio or an Aries?
Cheers Zodiac Discrimination! 
but turns out there seems to be pple complaining that Leo's like to act tis way... 
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Hmmm, realli Leo?? There's this ger I know w totally same pattern also Leo lei... hmm... alot of pple dislike her.... ermmm, including me~Originally posted by narz: Zodiac Discrimination!
but turns out she's a Leo.... I think Leos character mostly r lydat... according to experience.... not Zodiac discrimination arrrr... eh... of cos, I am minus-ing those gd Leo's out of the picture~ -
the egoistic leo would not like anyone telling them what to do and what not to do. the worse thing to do is to hurt their pride.
the more u say abt what u dun like abt her the more resentful she feels. maybe on the account of the long standing friendship she would listen for awhile but after awhile it seems u are totally changing the way she behaves and thats totally unacceptable to anyone.
but coming to this, she sounded really pampered and childish and if u cant accept the way she is, no pt having this fren. yeah move on. i cant understand y her bf can tolerate that shit. she needs to be teach a serious lesson.
usually this kind of ppl i will not contact with after i know they behaved this way.