the person u love the most may not be whom u marry.
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I got this story from catcha.
this was something u said to me... towards the end of us...
we met..nearly 4 years ago... i remember that i didn't have a good impression of you at that time... you were much too quiet... and that goofy grin of yours.. i didn't like it at all, i used to think it was rather irritating... but... it grew to be something i loved about you....
middle of 1998... it was the beginning of us...
we started seeing each other very often... because our mutual friend "Al" just broke up with his gf.. and we were both there, supposedly to be around for him, to comfort and console him.. it was during this time.. that we started talking.. and when we stayed over at Al's place.. we'd spend the entire night talking... after Al knocked out.. from all the alcohol...
i remember the night it all started... Al had already knocked out... but both of us were still awake.. we were lying in bed... talking... u told me about the past year.. about how u felt for me.. but i was with someone else.. and how difficult it was for you when you knew... you said alot more... and then... u turned towards me... looked deeply into my eyes... and lightly lightly kissed me..
it was the first time in my entire life... that i can finally use the word "magical"... it was something i thought i would only read about in story books... but it happened to me...that night...
we became a couple.. an item... it was the most natural thing to happen...
we would talk all the time... shared every single detail of our past... there is nothing that we couldn't talk about... and we'd gotten to understand each other so well... that sometimes, we don't even need to say anything.. and we'd both know what the other is thinking.. or is about to say. we'd spend so much time together... going out with other friends... or just being by ourselves... it didn't matter where we are... or who we are with... just being next to you... is bliss in itself...
for the first time in my life, i knew, for sure... that you are the ONE. i was only 21... but there was no one else.. that could make me feel, the way you make me feel... i was contented, with all the simple pleasures of life...with you. i don't need you to bring me to expensive places, when a simple night out with you means so much more to me. i don't need expensive gifts... when a call from you, or a kiss, would do more than anything material could.
the best thing, you did for me... was... all the times that you would come over to my place on saturday mornings, get my mum to let you in... and just sit beside me... while i was still sleeping.. and be the very first thing i see when i open my eyes.... you probably have no idea.. what those mornings meant to me... there was nothing else that i wanted.. than to be able to do that... everyday.. for the rest of my life...
and... the happiest, most blissful day in my life.. even up till now was with you. it was during our short trip in malaysia.. in december 1998... we were in penang, staying in a hotel by the sea... the name of the hotel was paradise... that morning... i was awake just before sunrise... you had your arms around me.. still sleeping... i was looking out the window.. watching.. as the sky and the sea, turn from dark blue.. to a lighter shade of blue.. and finally... the sun peeking out from the horizon... i never thought it could be humanly possible to feel so in love.. so contented...
i guess... no one is suppose to have so much happiness in their lives... i guess i've had too much.. and that it was unfair... because.. things fell apart. u got too caught up in the rat race... to earn more.. to achieve more... u said it was so that u could give me more. i didn't need that... but i guess you did. or.... perhaps... you've gotten tired of me... suddenly... what we used to be contented with.. wasn't enough for you anymore... from the heights of heaven... i fell... into the depths of hell... i no longer felt loved.. i felt neglected... unwanted... and...out of a moment of impulse... i said i wanted to break up...
after our break up... you seemed to care more about me... you started to put in effort.. into trying to reviving the old relationship we had... i was still very disappointed in you... i wanted to give us another chance... but i didn't want to be disappointed again so soon......
maybe fate was toying with us... someone else came into my life... although i could never ever love him as i did for you... i was with him.. because he touched me with his sincerity then...
but u didn't give up... u continued in your efforts to prove to me that you still treasured us.. i'd always remember you saying... that i am the person you love most... you've waited a year before we were together... and u'd still wait... until the day we'd be together again... because u said.. i'm worth the wait...
a few months later... i knew i couldn't deny myself any longer... it was still you that i love most... and you were still around... it was difficult times... but... finally... i did leave the other guy.
i wanted to be with you again... you didn't seem any different... but.. very soon... i found out from another friend, that you already have another girlfriend.. you didn't even wanted to let me know... i confronted you with it... u didn't deny it... and u still said.. that i am the person you love most...
i wanted to leave for good... but you wouldn't let me... this dragged on and on.... much more longer than it should have... you told me u didn't want to hurt her.. but you don't want to let me leave either... i was, and still is... the person you love most... only this time.. you added this sentence.."sometimes, the person you marry, may not be the person you love most".....
we no longer see each other anymore... things between us have gotten beyond repair... i don't suppose we'd ever see each other again... much less talk...
but... i'd never forget this relationship... i've never thought it was possible for anyone to feel the love i had felt... i still occassionally get into a daze... thinking about the happier times we had together... i know, i'd never be able to feel this way about anyone else... i cannot explain why.. after all the hurt and pain you've caused me.. i can still feel this way about you...
i am 24 this year... i know, very soon... it would be time for me to settle down... to be with someone else... and... start my own family... now.. i fully understand what you mean.. when you said..."sometimes, the person you marry, is not the person you love most..."
all i want to say now is.... thank you.. for letting me feel what it means to love... the way no one else could ever make me feel.. not every story would have a happy ending... i know mine would definitely never have a happy ending... but... to be able to feel the love.. the magic.. to have felt what it meant to be in heaven....to have had felt it the way i did.... so deeply... is something i should be thankful for.... -
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Pls... Stop drowning yourself in these... Not very wise... -
got ppl told me this oso
the person that u marry might not be the one u love most......
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i have already accepted this as a fact of life.
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certainly not i.Originally posted by wuming78:i have already accepted this as a fact of life.
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u mus be a lucky guyOriginally posted by jOhO:certainly not i. -
Yah...I agree...the person you love/like the most will probably not end up with you. Sometimes the person you love/like the most will turn out to be the person who hate you the most...even until now.
Anyway, there is always hope for us to find somebody that we will love/like more than the current most love/like person in our heart.
So cheer up, FireIce.
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yah... heard of tt phase b4 too... n somehow i believe there is a certain truth in it... although i hope tt it is the otherwise 4 meOriginally posted by FireIce:got ppl told me this oso
the person that u marry might not be the one u love most...... 
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the one u love most may not be with u
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not surprising... i heard it from alot of married couples.
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The person u luv the most may not be whom u marry. Why is that so?
Because the best love that u have exprienced is the purest.
Free from life's harsh realities & responsiblities.
Free from social pressure.
Even not practical at all.
There's a Chinese saying 'Got love, drink water also full' -
true, but i can't help hoping for the best eh?
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if you marry someone, please make sure he/she is the person u love most, cos it is only fair.
love is not possession, if u truly love someone, u would do wat is best for that person (from that person's point of view).
the person i marry would be the one i love most. i might have loved deeply before, but to my future half, he would be the only one in my heart and the one who holds my heart, soul and mind. -
but what if you found out that you're not the one he love the most? will u still marry him?Originally posted by the_don:the person i marry would be the one i love most. i might have loved deeply before, but to my future half, he would be the only one in my heart and the one who holds my heart, soul and mind. -
But the question is, who do not want the current love or the last love to be the BEST of the BEST?
For some, the question will just crept in into consciousness some how or rather after marriage.
Sometimes, what is past is past. There is no regret just relish.
'Bu4 kan1 hui2 shou3' -
sounds familiar... hmm...
sad story...
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been thinking about this too.......Originally posted by Churra:but what if you found out that you're not the one he love the most? will u still marry him? -
been thinking about this too.......Originally posted by Churra:but what if you found out that you're not the one he love the most? will u still marry him? -
if he is positive that
i am and will be the only one in his heart from that point on and truely wants me to be his wife for unselfish reasons,
i will.
imo, if my love for him is enough to make him the happiest he has ever been, i am happy. and being happy together is one of the most important criteria for bgr/marriageOriginally posted by Churra:but what if you found out that you're not the one he love the most? will u still marry him? -
its still very complicated....
sometimes u marry someone thinking he is the right guy for you, the love of your life. But after marriage, you might think other wise... -
because wat that is not urs is always the best... u will always think someone else is better than ur partner...Originally posted by FireIce:got ppl told me this oso
the person that u marry might not be the one u love most...... -
being with the one u love the most doesnt mean u would be happy... u love the person for his difference but at times u hate it becuz both personalities clashed and situations turned out ugly. that's y some ppl choose the one that love them more than they do... haiz..............................
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FireIce...why do you ponder so much over such things? Have you forgotten that the uncertaincies factor in a relationship is what makes the relationship lively and spontaneous?Originally posted by FireIce:been thinking about this too.......
Where is the excitement to life itself if you have to live your life everyday accordingly as planned?
Let go of your thoughts and slowly enjoy life's hidden surprises and events...like opening a mystery present.
I'm sure that when the time comes for you to get married. You will not be bothered with thoughts like this anymore.
Ren suan bu ru tian suan...cheer up and have fun lah. -
How do we define the one you LOVED most?
Because we have experienced several relationship and through our experience, the one made us deposit the most feelings with the most fulfilling returns is deemed as our most LOVED.
And so if it is the case for you, is it the case for him/her as well?
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The person you love most may not be the one you marry - what's the issue here? You mean both parties have to be equally the MOST LOVED to have the best marriage in life without regrets?
Different people brings different relationship lesson into our lives. Our marriage partner brings in marriage lessons - therefore it usually wouldn't bring the MOST LOVED lessons in as well for both party. Usually for one side, it's pretty common.
But because they are anywhere lesser than our MOST LOVED, in reality, we always compromise and have less tolerence towards our partners we chose that doesn't fall under the catergory of MOST LOVED. Because the sad thing is that we gave too much to our MOST LOVED that we know where the limit with regards to future relationship.
MOST LOVED =/ What I want.
Love is feelings.
Desire is what you seek - this is in tune with suitability.
Love is unconsciously, it usually happens without you realising. Desire is when the attraction is form because there is a logical click behind it.
So does it really matter if our marriage partner is not our MOST LOVED... as long as during that current moment without refering to the past, he/she is our MOST LOVED presently?
Cheers -
i say.. what's the use of marrying someone whom u really loved but it's never the other way round. If u were to get married, u must feel the love for him/her. and when u get yr signature on that line, forget abt the one u most loved in the past...labelled them as history. sadly, human beings only learn to cherish things after they lost it. embrace the new stage of life from then on and cherish it before u lose another one again.