29 Aug, 04:00PM in sunny Singapore!
Home Club 30

Update on an old poem : Five Ways to Kill A Man

Subscribe to Update on an old poem : Five Ways to Kill A Man 15 posts

Please Login or Signup to reply.
  • Moderator
    Everyone is nice... when subdued or sedated.
    Rhonda's Avatar
    30,940 posts since Oct '04
    • There's a very interesting poem written by Edwin Brock entitled, "Five Ways to Kill A Man".  I wonder how many of you have read it?

       

      Five Ways to Kill A Man

       

      There are many cumbersome ways to kill a man.

      You can make him carry a plank of wood

      to the top of a hill and nail him to it.

      To do this properly you require a crowd of people

      wearing sandals, a cock that crows, a cloak

      to dissect, a sponge, some vinegar and one

      man to hammer the nails home.

       

      Or you can take a length of steel,

      shaped and chased in a traditional way,

      and attempt to pierce the metal cage he wears.

      But for this you need white horses,

      English trees, men with bows and arrows,

      at least two flags, a prince, and a

      castle to hold your banquet in.

       

      Dispensing with nobility, you may, if the wind

      allows, blow gas at him. But then you need

      a mile of mud sliced through with ditches,

      not to mention black boots, bomb craters,

      more mud, a plague of rats, a dozen songs

      and some round hats made of steel.

       

      In an age of aeroplanes, you may fly

      miles above your victim and dispose of him by

      pressing one small switch. All you then

      require is an ocean to separate you, two

      systems of government, a nation's scientists,

      several factories, a psychopath and

      land that no-one needs for several years.

       

      These are, as I began, cumbersome ways to kill a man.

      Simpler, direct, and much more neat is to see

      that he is living somewhere in the middle

      of the twentieth century, and leave him there.

       

       

       

      I thought we might indulge in a bit of morbid, dark humour, and think of New Millenium ways in which a man can die!  tongue.png

      Welcome to the Dark Side!  icon_twisted.gif

      Edited by Rhonda 11 Jun `08, 9:44AM
  • Moderator
    elindra's Avatar
    41,291 posts since Jun '04
  • sebosebo's Avatar
    532 posts since Mar '08
  • tare's Avatar
    17,080 posts since Aug '03
  • Moderator
    Everyone is nice... when subdued or sedated.
    Rhonda's Avatar
    30,940 posts since Oct '04
    • Originally posted by tare:

      stuff the person with so much lettuce tat he vomits and die!!!!

      Wah!  This one's a new idea!  icon_lol.gif 

      But erm... why lettuce?

  • tare's Avatar
    17,080 posts since Aug '03
    • Originally posted by Rhonda:

      Wah!  This one's a new idea!  icon_lol.gif 

      But erm... why lettuce?


      fat fat's most feared food....

  • eagle's Avatar
    16,323 posts since Aug '01
    • Originally posted by Rhonda:

      There's a very interesting poem written by Edwin Brock entitled, "Five Ways to Kill A Man".  I wonder how many of you have read it?

       

      Five Ways to Kill A Man

       

      There are many cumbersome ways to kill a man.

      You can make him carry a plank of wood

      to the top of a hill and nail him to it.

      To do this properly you require a crowd of people

      wearing sandals, a cock that crows, a cloak

      to dissect, a sponge, some vinegar and one

      man to hammer the nails home.

       

      Or you can take a length of steel,

      shaped and chased in a traditional way,

      and attempt to pierce the metal cage he wears.

      But for this you need white horses,

      English trees, men with bows and arrows,

      at least two flags, a prince, and a

      castle to hold your banquet in.

       

      Dispensing with nobility, you may, if the wind

      allows, blow gas at him. But then you need

      a mile of mud sliced through with ditches,

      not to mention black boots, bomb craters,

      more mud, a plague of rats, a dozen songs

      and some round hats made of steel.

       

      In an age of aeroplanes, you may fly

      miles above your victim and dispose of him by

      pressing one small switch. All you then

      require is an ocean to separate you, two

      systems of government, a nation's scientists,

      several factories, a psychopath and

      land that no-one needs for several years.

       

      These are, as I began, cumbersome ways to kill a man.

      Simpler, direct, and much more neat is to see

      that he is living somewhere in the middle

      of the twentieth century, and leave him there.

       

       

       

      I thought we might indulge in a bit of morbid, dark humour, and think of New Millenium ways in which a man can die!  tongue.png

      Welcome to the Dark Side!  icon_twisted.gif

      read before in sec sch literature class

      I liked the poem...

  • capiche?
    wonderamazement's Avatar
    10,785 posts since Dec '04
  • LOTUSfairy's Avatar
    8,654 posts since Oct '07
  • Gosu.'s Avatar
    484 posts since Jul '06
    • Originally posted by LOTUSfairy:

      one way to kill a man...

      turn him into a woman!


      Or let him have more than 3 woman in his household icon_evil.gif

  • LOTUSfairy's Avatar
    8,654 posts since Oct '07
  • sebosebo's Avatar
    532 posts since Mar '08
    • id like to see some flesh eating biotechnological nanomachines eating away at its human test subject slowly devil.png

  • shrekho's Avatar
    332 posts since Feb '06
  • Passive Income1's Avatar
    174 posts since Jun '08
  • SBS7484P's Avatar
    2,641 posts since Dec '07
Please Login or Signup to reply.