how are we going to make sure that our kids will look after us when we grow old?? spend more time with them when they are young or....

the more you hope, the more disappointed you become.

if you have children for the sole purpose of looking after you when you are old, you are just a selfish prick...

your children didn't ask to be put on this planet just to be saddled with the "duty" and burden of looking after you..

instead, you OWE your children to give them the best you can.. YOU put them in this planet.. you OWE it to them to give them the best you can...

they don't owe you..

if you love them right, bring them up right, and love them enough, they will automatically care for you when you are old..

they will do it out of love...

but they will NOT owe you..

if you "spend time with them" for the sole purpose of making them feel indebted to you such that they "take care of you", i foresee both you and your progeny being miserable...

you'll deserve it.. but i'd feel sad for your progeny

"make sure" sial

u need a maid, not kids

I still like the instant millionaire idea

I rather save money to take care of myself and choose my own old age home than to rely on family.  You have not see the nasty things that happen regarding caring for the old parents. Especially when $ and cleaning up is involved. 

when they were young, we did our best(spent our time,money and energy)looking after them, giving them the best we could offer. why shouldnt they look after us when we grow old.. that should be the right way mah..

Originally posted by SevenEleven:

the more you hope, the more disappointed you become.

Very correct, just train your kids to feel guilty. Simple.

Originally posted by Tcwongsf:

when they were young, we did our best(spent our time,money and energy)looking after them, giving them the best we could offer. why shouldnt they look after us when we grow old.. that should be the right way mah..

that's called trade..

it's not parenting..

just like a person giving sex in exchange for things.. that's prostitution..

but if a person shares intimacy out of love.. that's different..

the intent is everything..

i guess you don't get it.. sadly, those who do not understand this, never will..

Originally posted by Tcwongsf:

when they were young, we did our best(spent our time,money and energy)looking after them, giving them the best we could offer. why shouldnt they look after us when we grow old.. that should be the right way mah..

Do what you have said, they will love you and look after you.

Always have a plan B, make sure you have enough money for retirement. Children giving parents money when they are working is just a bonus.

I 1 yr ago during NS, take home $570 only. But still give mommy $100 and daddy $100 hehe...

I give my parents respect not becus i respect them but I pity them for giving birth to an asshole like me.

Originally posted by the Bear:

that's called trade..

it's not parenting..

just like a person giving sex in exchange for things.. that's prostitution..

but if a person shares intimacy out of love.. that's different..

the intent is everything..

i guess you don't get it.. sadly, those who do not understand this, never will..

Very true, i find that a lot of parents don't know how to teach their children the correct values.

They shouldn't have kids in the first place.

but when your ageing parents need your care and financial support, you sure help them out. dont you??

Yes I will, no matter what, cause I love them.

But i pity those who earns 1-2K salary per month need to take care of family and sick parents 1. Then the problems come.

If I know i wont earn a lot or have enough savings, I wont get married in the first place.

It really goes down to luck for the individual, if your parents are very poor, work very hard in life.

I see how my current MIL sap/control on her son to the extend of creating a rift in my marriage. I do not want to be ever like her to create such a situation for my children.  I think children should lead their own life and the parents might rely on them but never drag them down and expect them to live in the service of their parents and in their shadow. This is to allow them to grow. My husband never grew. He's spoilt and his only love his mommy and lives in order to make his mommy happy.

Originally posted by Tcwongsf:

but when your ageing parents need your care and financial support, you sure help them out. dont you??

you still don't get it do you?

you support your parents because a law forces you to?

or do you love your parents so much that you care for them?

                        And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of

                        Children."

                        

                        And he said:

                        

                        Your children are not your children.

                        

                        They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

                        

                        They come through you but not from you,

                        

                        And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.

                        

                        You may give them your love but not your thoughts.

                        

                        For they have their own thoughts.

                        

                        You may house their bodies but not their souls,

                        

                        For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit,

                        not even in your dreams.

                        

                        You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

                        

                        For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

                        

                        You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

                        

                        The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you

                        with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.

                        

                        Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;

                        

                        For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that

                        is stable.

                        

                                 -- Kahlil Gibran
                        

this topic is so nonsense

kopi.. what is nonsense to you, actually exists out there..

i think it's because we take a lot of things like these for granted... that we will allow our children to be all they can be without strings, to be all they want to be...

many out there still believe that the whole goal of having children is to support them when they are old...

just be grateful if they do but beware they will probably not or be unable to. Well it might help if you start brainwashign them early, but might not work. It’s a gamble

I'v seen some selfish and self-centred mum manipulating and controlling their grown up children. however, their children still bailed them out when their mum sought their help financially and emotionally.. guess they were doing that out of their love and respect their mum bah..

Having children to support themselves is a poor person's mentality. In the past, older folks have many children, so that when they grow up children will earn money and give to them.

Everyone should take care of their parents, unless your parents torture you or something hahaa....

Originally posted by Tcwongsf:

I'v seen some selfish and self-centred mum manipulating and controlling their grown up children. however, their children still bailed them out when their mum sought their help financially and emotionally.. guess they were doing that out of their love and respect their mum bah..

might be societal pressure too *shrug*

i suggest that TS should stop looking at children like they owe the parents

respect and love is earned, not demanded or expected

TS is already asking for it by hoping to "make sure" the kids will take care of him/her.

now i'm hoping the kids don't, because TS certainly doesn't deserve any help

Haha I asked my MPB again yesterday the real reason why he wants children

He said,"So that I have someone to inherit all I have earned and built up. I don't want to give it to the Government nor do I want to donate it to strangers"

Anyway life these days is already real tough. It would be a miracle if our future generation don't need us to support them