Let's have a fun time here! Post any craps or jokes that is related to taxis here!

All are welcome

Note : Any rubbish or craps that is not related to the forum will be automatically deleted.

Taxis need to pay the most tax, why?

If not call TAXi..

Hmm , nice jokes 233X

Q: Which taxi company has the most environment friendly fleet of cabs

A: SMART & why, because their cabs are "green"

Originally posted by SBS 233 X:

Taxis need to pay the most tax, why?

If not call TAXi..

Use internet to pay for taxi-related taxes?

Originally posted by SGEMP:

Use internet to pay for taxi-related taxes?

No link.

Q: If SMART taxis are really smart, what can SMRT taxis be called?

a: Stupid... because the missing A made it not smart

Originally posted by 105090:

Q: If SMART taxis are really smart, what can SMRT taxis be called?

a: Stupid... because the missing A made it not smart

Q: Other than getting booked, when can a cabby put on the "ON CALL" Plate?
A: When he is talking over the phone

national day board taxi dont need to pay $$$?

Why cabby likes to drink coke whenever there is a red light

(adapted from Volvo Olympian's taxi jokes)

When the traffic light is red, cabby drinks chilli sauce/ketchup
When the traffic light is yellow, cabby drinks pineapple juice/orange juice
When the traffic light is green, cabby drinks sprite/kickapoo

When the taxi encounters KTM trains, cabby would speeds up his/her cab (to race with the train) and press horns endlessly.........or dash to Tanjung Pagar KTM immediately.........

Originally posted by SGEMP:

(adapted from Volvo Olympian's taxi jokes)

When the traffic light is red, cabby drinks chilli sauce/ketchup
When the traffic light is yellow, cabby drinks pineapple juice/orange juice
When the traffic light is green, cabby drinks sprite/kickapoo

When the taxi encounters KTM trains, cabby would speeds up his/her cab (to race with the train) and press horns endlessly.........

Please don't make me vomit.

Originally posted by SBS9818A:

Please don't make me vomit.

Relax lah , he is just joking here only rite , isn't this topic for jokes , so as to release our stress .....

Taxi broke into half

Originally posted by Volvo Olympian:

Taxi broke into half

and each half operating on its own............

........carrying passengers as per normal............

As Volvo Olympian's 4000th post is near, maybe when his 4000th post in sgforums is made, the GPS randomly trigger cabbies to issue "congrats to VO for his 4000th post in sgforums" celebratory messages to his handphone!!!

........ EDS of taxis flash this message:
Congratulations to our dear representative Volvo Olympian's 4000th post in sgforums!!!

and 40% discount to taxi passengers!!!



(note: this is my 888/889/890th post in sgforums!)

Originally posted by SGEMP:

As Volvo Olympian's 4000th post is near, maybe when his 4000th post in sgforums is made, the GPS randomly trigger cabbies to issue "congrats to VO for his 4000th post in sgforums" celebratory messages to him!!!

........ EDS of taxis flash this message:
Congratulations to our dear representative Volvo Olympian's 4000th post in sgforums!!!

and 40% discount to taxi passengers!!!



(note: this is my 888/889/890th post in sgforums!)

And there you go!

Originally posted by SBS 233 X:

Taxis need to pay the most tax, why?

If not call TAXi..

and tax until you xi4 (die in hokkien)? *touchwood*

Singapore 41st National Day joke

EDS of taxis displays "Happy 41st National Day, Singapore!!! Majulah Singapura!!! "

Then after passengers boarded the cabs (and have their destinations told to the cabbies) cabbies would say "Salute our Singapore; we work for the pride of our dear Singapore and our dear leaders who have helped us a lot!!! ."

Radios in taxis would broadcast "Majulah Singapura" and other national songs i.e. "Count on me Singapore" etc continouously

Finally after passengers paid their fares, cabbies would say to them: "MAJULAH SINGAPURA!!!" (instead of "Thank you" )

BTW I would like to sincerely wish everyone in Singapore Taxis @ sgForums a happy 41st National Day.

Hope that in years to come our taxis could work harder for our national pride, and be world class.

One day a naked gal boarded a Comfort Taxi.

Upon driving off, the cabbie kept staring at the naked gal.

Gal: See wad see? NEver see naked gal before is it?

Cabbie: NAked gal, I seen before! Just wondering where u kept the money to pay for taxi fare!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wong: LAst nite I've dreamt that I've released a genie from a bottle! He promised to grant me one wish!

Seng:so waD did u wished for?

wong: I wished that whenever I drive, I will be with a different woman!

Seng: Wow! so the genie turned u into a rich playboy, eh?

Wong: No...he turned me into a Taxi Driver!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One day, Ah Seng the cabbie was driving a Japanese tourist from Changi airport to Woodlands.....

As they drove down ECP, a Honda EG6 sped past them....

Jap: Look! Honda!! Made in Japan! Very fasT! very good!!!

Seng: ................

After a while , a Mitsubishi Evo sped past them...

Jap: look! Mitsubishi! Made in Japan! Very fast! very good!!!

Seng: *annoyed * mmm...

15 mins later, a Nissan Skyline overtook the taxi on the Expressway...

Jap: wow! look! Nissan! MAde in JApan!..ver....

Seng: ya ya! Very fast!!!! very goooooooooooooooDDD!!!!

By then, Seng was very irritated by the boastful Japanese tourist.

After a long trip, they've reached their destination..

Jap: how much?

Seng: $30 please...

Jap: WHAT!!!!! why so expensive!!!!!!!!

Seng: We are using a Toshiba Taxi Meter *points at the meter*

Jap: So?

Seng: Toshiba! Made in Japan! very FAST! Very GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

Originally posted by SGEMP:
[b]Singapore 41st National Day joke

EDS of taxis displays "Happy 41st National Day, Singapore!!! Majulah Singapura!!! " 1)

Then after passengers boarded the cabs (and have their destinations told to the cabbies) cabbies would say "Salute our Singapore; we work for the pride of our dear Singapore and our dear leaders who have helped us a lot!!! ."

Radios in taxis would broadcast "Majulah Singapura" and other national songs i.e. "Count on me Singapore" etc continouously

Finally after passengers paid their fares, cabbies would say to them: "MAJULAH SINGAPURA!!!" (instead of "Thank you" )

BTW I would like to sincerely wish everyone in Singapore Taxis @ sgForums a happy 41st National Day.

Hope that in years to come our taxis could work harder for our national pride, and be world class.[/b]

1) similar things did occur in reality.

i did saw comfort taxis flashing "Happy National Day" in their EDS today, for real.

Originally posted by SGEMP:
[b]Singapore 41st National Day joke

EDS of taxis displays "Happy 41st National Day, Singapore!!! Majulah Singapura!!! "

Then after passengers boarded the cabs (and have their destinations told to the cabbies) cabbies would say "Salute our Singapore; we work for the pride of our dear Singapore and our dear leaders who have helped us a lot!!! ."

Radios in taxis would broadcast "Majulah Singapura" and other national songs i.e. "Count on me Singapore" etc continouously

Finally after passengers paid their fares, cabbies would say to them: "MAJULAH SINGAPURA!!!" (instead of "Thank you" )

BTW I would like to sincerely wish everyone in Singapore Taxis @ sgForums a happy 41st National Day.

Hope that in years to come our taxis could work harder for our national pride, and be world class.[/b]

Ugh, cut the propaganda, will you.

Originally posted by markzz:

One day a naked gal boarded a Comfort Taxi.

Upon driving off, the cabbie kept staring at the naked gal.

Gal: See wad see? NEver see naked gal before is it?

Cabbie: NAked gal, I seen before! Just wondering where u kept the money to pay for taxi fare!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wong: LAst nite I've dreamt that I've released a genie from a bottle! He promised to grant me one wish!

Seng:so waD did u wished for?

wong: I wished that whenever I drive, I will be with a different woman!

Seng: Wow! so the genie turned u into a rich playboy, eh?

Wong: No...he turned me into a Taxi Driver!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One day, Ah Seng the cabbie was driving a Japanese tourist from Changi airport to Woodlands.....

As they drove down ECP, a Honda EG6 sped past them....

Jap: Look! Honda!! Made in Japan! Very fasT! very good!!!

Seng: ................

After a while , a Mitsubishi Evo sped past them...

Jap: look! Mitsubishi! Made in Japan! Very fast! very good!!!

Seng: *annoyed * mmm...

15 mins later, a Nissan Skyline overtook the taxi on the Expressway...

Jap: wow! look! Nissan! MAde in JApan!..ver....

Seng: ya ya! Very fast!!!! very goooooooooooooooDDD!!!!

By then, Seng was very irritated by the boastful Japanese tourist.

After a long trip, they've reached their destination..

Jap: how much?

Seng: $30 please...

Jap: WHAT!!!!! why so expensive!!!!!!!!

Seng: We are using a Toshiba Taxi Meter *points at the meter*

Jap: So?

Seng: Toshiba! Made in Japan! very FAST! Very GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

Don't forget the Toyota Crown also made in Japan.

Originally posted by iveco:

Don't forget the Toyota Crown also made in Japan.

And Nissan Cedric