I have heard and seen girls complaining that local guys are not gentleman enough, they dont give up their seats on the train and bus to ladies unlike OTHER COUNTRIES.

 

I was on the train to work one morning. As usual, trains after 6am will be crowded like mad. I was sitting down. This young girl was infront of me standing among the crowd. Looked damn sleepy and tired, even fall asleep when standing. So tired to the extent that she almost just fell and concus on the floor. Before she fall she will open her eyes again.

I stood up and offer her my seat, since shes so tired to that extent that she might just fall into the arms of some random uncles or tikos. (she almost fell on me too).

Instead, she shaked her head and continue standing. And this fat indian man quickly rushed over and take my seat. People were all staring at me when they realized I wasnt getting down with the "you are so crazy, more crazy than paying $7.20 for a packet of M&M" look.

At first I thought cos she was getting down soon, ended up, she got down more than 10 stops after that. I looked at her in the window reflection after the indian man sat down, she was smiling, but dunno at who.

 

I wasnt angry la, just a little unhappy. In the end I stood all the way to my workplace for nothing.

Sorry but I cant help but to say if u r a truely gentleman, this kind of small thing u will not even whine in here.

got seats better sit first.. at least you chop the seats guarantee any eldery/needy/preggy people boarding you can give the seat up..

but sometimes I have problems identifying those preggy in early stages where the swell isn't that obvious.. you know you might get a slap or something.. :P but nevertheless, I still do give up my seats for them whenever possible.

and I'm local. :)

Originally posted by SpeedStar:

Sorry but I cant help but to say if u r a truely gentleman, this kind of small thing u will not even whine in here.

Not whining la. Just showing an example that what you see is not what you will get.

u all no notice?

the focus of this topic is not about the sleeping lady
but the guy that took his seat

It happens everyday during peak hours.

Before I offer my seat to any person who seem to need it, be it lady or man, I will first get eye contact, or get their attention, then I will through hand gesture, or if they are near enough verbally ask them if they want the seat. If they accept they will come over, and we exchange places. This way those shameless young men, be it local or foreign, cannot cut in.

If a seat has just been vacated, I will hesitate,  look around and allow any one near to get the seat first, if no takers, then I will sit. My train journeys are always not longer than 20 minutes, so there is no problem standing all the way.

Sometimes I wonder whats the beef about giving up seats.

I believe if a visibly pregnant woman were to ask a passenger politely if she could have the seat, I am quite sure she would get it, or the next passenger would oblige. She don't have to go begging for a seat, she will be given one. Just ask, and not suffer in silence and then later write to the press. Same goes for others who need a seat.

There are cases of heavily pregnant women, and very old people refusing seats offered to them.

Most complaints of this nature is to disparage fellow passengers.

lealli is fat indian guy.

so who was she smilin at?

gib up seat muz hab technique one.

when u ask dat time, u muz make sure part of ur body stil chope dat seat.

sometimes look old but yet too old dunno wan give ornot ...

if you're a gentlemen you wouldn't be "upset" by the indian man. By posting it up here, you're telling me you're being a gentlemen "for show".. if the lady doesn't appreciate the seat rather stand more than 10 stops facing the risk of falling cos she's tired, and so happen that indian man rush to your seat, so be it.. not stop being a gentlemen.

Never expect to be rewarded for being a gentlemen. Same thing for doing act of kindness.

You should have spoken to the Indian that you offered your seat to the lady instead to him. Asked the Indian politely to leave your seat if you felt so.

But if you thought that the Indian was probably in need of a seat more than you do for any reason you thought of I don't see whay he couldn't have the seat.

My 2 cents anyway

ya, juz take it dat the fat indian man's too fat to stand for long.

being gentlemanly includes NOT expecting any reciprocated behaviour or rewards. if you do then you just wanna score chicks...

Eh eh, you guys are over-reacting man. Ok, I'm sorry maybe the way I post makes it sounds like I'm for show or I have something against the man. What I mean was, even if every guy becomes gentlemem (much to the pleasure of the ladies who constantly complain), this might bound to happen. Just stating an example.

I wasn't angry with the indian man who took my seat, he can have it all he want. I was just saying that i dont understand why he have to be so eager about it and why the girl who truly needs it doesnt even want it.

Sorry for the miscommunication. I have a habit of expecting people to actually understand what I'm saying without elaborating clearly. My bad.

To HK: Dunno who she smiling at. She was jus smiling sweetly when I looked into the reflection but she was looking down at the floor.

You yield different results with different people.

I recall driving out of a particular local uni on two occassions. One of which was a rainy day, there was this girl braving the heavy rain, and I stopped and offered her a ride. She accepted the offer and was pleasant and all.

The other occassion, there was this guy carrying a hell lotsa of stuff. At first impression, I thought he was a pasam malam seller, I stopped and offered a ride. And he chided me for being a nosy parker.

Originally posted by Stucktoes:

I have heard and seen girls complaining that local guys are not gentleman enough, they dont give up their seats on the train and bus to ladies unlike OTHER COUNTRIES.

 

I was on the train to work one morning. As usual, trains after 6am will be crowded like mad. I was sitting down. This young girl was infront of me standing among the crowd. Looked damn sleepy and tired, even fall asleep when standing. So tired to the extent that she almost just fell and concus on the floor. Before she fall she will open her eyes again.

I stood up and offer her my seat, since shes so tired to that extent that she might just fall into the arms of some random uncles or tikos. (she almost fell on me too).

Instead, she shaked her head and continue standing. And this fat indian man quickly rushed over and take my seat. People were all staring at me when they realized I wasnt getting down with the "you are so crazy, more crazy than paying $7.20 for a packet of M&M" look.

At first I thought cos she was getting down soon, ended up, she got down more than 10 stops after that. I looked at her in the window reflection after the indian man sat down, she was smiling, but dunno at who.

 

I wasnt angry la, just a little unhappy. In the end I stood all the way to my workplace for nothing.

Ya....such things happened when you're unable to protect the seat which you wanted to give for the girl.

Next time remember to protect the thing that you want to give others.

For example, push the indian man away when he come near your seat, or put your foot on your seat if you don't want to hurt the indian man, or signal to the girl first and get her attention and synchronise with her to occupy your seat as soon as you lift your butt off it.

Better still, if she don't mind to sit on your lappie, you can experienced being a Santa Claus in shopping mall before Christmas.  

"Have you ever sat on Santa's lap?"

Originally posted by parn:

Ya....such things happened when you're unable to protect the seat which you wanted to give for the girl.

Next time remember to protect the thing that you want to give others.

For example, push the indian man away when he come near your seat, or put your foot on your seat if you don't want to hurt the indian man, or signal to the girl first and get her attention and synchronise with her to occupy your seat as soon as you lift your butt off it.

Better still, if she don't mind to sit on your lappie, you can experienced being a Santa Claus in shopping mall before Christmas.  

"Have you ever sat on Santa's lap?"

She had enough time to sit down. Now the thing is, she leave the seat alone and didnt want it. Thats why the indian man had enough time to walk in and sat down.

Originally posted by Stucktoes:

She had enough time to sit down. Now the thing is, she leave the seat alone and didnt want it. Thats why the indian man had enough time to walk in and sat down.

Why you don't protect the seat from the indian man?

No matter how quick the indian man moves, that can still only serves as an excuse to cover up your lack of attention to hold onto your seat for the lady.

We should all be able to earn from our mistakes, despite all our excuses.

 

Else, you could've started a conversation with her by telling her that you actually wanted her to occupy your seat and not that indian man.

If she's pretty, then good for you lor. But I would imagine the lady should have some standards first before she even get any guys who are willing to give up their seats for her.

If she is not pretty and got no standard, then I'm afraid alot of forumers here might be laughing their ass off at you.

 

And sorry if this post is too strong for you. I don't mean it, I'm just in mood. :(

Originally posted by parn:

Why you don't protect the seat from the indian man?

No matter how quick the indian man moves, that can still only serves as an excuse to cover up your lack of attention to hold onto your seat for the lady.

We should all be able to earn from our mistakes, despite all our excuses.

 

Else, you could've started a conversation with her by telling her that you actually wanted her to occupy your seat and not that indian man.

If she's pretty, then good for you lor. But I would imagine the lady should have some standards first before she even get any guys who are willing to give up their seats for her.

If she is not pretty and got no standard, then I'm afraid alot of forumers here might be laughing their ass off at you.

 

And sorry if this post is too strong for you. I don't mean it, I'm just in mood. :(

that time of the month, eh?

rule of thumb : (coming from a 21-year-old man who takes the train from tampines to boon lay & back. 2 years in NS, 4 years now in uni)

only give your seat to pregnant ladies. not to the elderly(unless those frail-looking ones) or parents w/ children or aunties or whoever else.

Originally posted by sinicker:

rule of thumb : (coming from a 21-year-old man who takes the train from tampines to boon lay & back. 2 years in NS, 4 years now in uni)

only give your seat to pregnant ladies. not to the elderly(unless those frail-looking ones) or parents w/ children or aunties or whoever else.

agreed. if you give it up, than just stand. if someone steals the seat you want to give, stand up to him.

Originally posted by skythewood:

agreed. if you give it up, than just stand. if someone steals the seat you want to give, stand up to him.

Or stand on him if you're super "geng"

Edit: TS has state his point, so i guess that is all

Originally posted by SpeedStar:

I dun understand what is the problem of giving up a seat and taken by other ppl. So what if other guy taken ur seat instead of the lady? Does it hurt ur arm or leg? And do u know what is gentleman? Do u think gentleman applies to gals/ladies only?

Fyi, i seldom sit in the mrt, unless there is empty seats and nobody is sitting on it

me too,  i seldom sit in the mrt, unless there is empty seats and nobody is sitting on it

and i think everyone does that too, if you exclude the one who gave up seats. there are very few reported cases of people attempting to sit in occupied seats.