Excerpted with modifications from:
http://www.islamonline.net/english/introducingislam/tolerance/article02.shtml

Islam is often said to be a tolerant religion. Then why is it that so many Muslims develop a harsh “us-and-them” attitude? People who have no problem with helping their neighbors or celebrating holidays with their family or doing volunteer work in the community become Muslim and then think that they can have nothing to do with “those” people with whom they freely interacted only days or weeks before. On top of that, the Muslims often refer to the others as “kafirs” (non-Muslims) and pronounce it as if they would spit, as if it were a vulgar word. What goes wrong?

As usual, the problem is not in Islam itself but in people’s misunderstanding.

Muslims have been living among non-Muslims since the beginning of the Revelation. Sometimes Muslims were the rulers, sometimes they were not. As early as eighteen years after the death of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), Muslims-led by Sa`d ibn Abi Waqqas-sailed to the east coast of China and obtained permission of the emperor to settle there and establish a mosque at Ch’ang-an, which still stands today (Islam in China by Yusuf Abdur Rahman). It didn’t seem to bother them to live among non-Muslims. We can see from this that the issues facing non-ruling Muslim minorities are not recent ones, and we should remember that even when Muslims were the rulers, they were often the minority.

Many Muslims today, even those who grew up in a multi-cultural society, have problems dealing with “others,” whether those be non-Muslims or Muslims who hold different opinions on some issues or who follow a different school of fiqh (jurisprudence).

But in fact, Islam teaches us to tolerate others and accept that there are differences among us. The creation of people with different languages and colors is one of the signs of Allah’s power. Superiority comes not from one’s color or tribe, but from one’s conduct.

And of His signs is the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the difference of your languages and colors. Lo! herein indeed are portents for men of knowledge.

- Surah Ar-Rum (The Romans), 30:22

O mankind! Lo! We have created you male and female, and have made you nations and tribes that ye may know one another. Lo! the noblest of you, in the sight of Allah, is the best in conduct. Lo! Allah is Knower, Aware.

- Surah Al-Hujurat (The Private Apartments), 49:13

And in his final sermon, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “You know that every Muslim is the brother of another Muslim. You are all equal. Nobody has superiority over another except by piety and good action.”

Our families and neighbors deserve our respect, kindness and justice.

Thus we should not think that we are better than others and be intolerant of their opinions. In the Hadith and early history of Islam, there are many examples of differences of opinion among the Muslims, yet it did not prevent them from living together peacefully and cooperating with one another.

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As for dealing with non-Muslims, we should never forget that we are to be kind and just with all those who do not fight us.

Asma’ bint Abi Bakr was visited in Madinah by her pagan mother and grandfather at a time when the Quraysh of Makkah had a peace treaty with the Muslims. She asked the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) whether she should treat her mother kindly and was told, “Yes” (Al-Bukhari). After this was revealed the verse meaning:

Allah does not forbid you that you show kindness and deal justly with those who did not fight you in your religion and did not drive you out from your homes…

- Surah Al-Mumtahinah (She Who Is Tried) 60:8

Our neighbors are still our neighbors; our families are still our families. Though they may not share our faith, they still deserve our respect, kindness, and justice. There are many hadiths regarding treatment of neighbors, but none of them say that this is only for Muslim neighbors.

For example, `A’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) reported: I heard Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) saying: “Jibreel (Angel Gabriel) advised me persistently about (kind treatment) towards the neighbor (so much) that I thought he would confer upon him the (right) of inheritance” (Muslim).

Tolerance means to accept that people have different ideas, beliefs, values, and customs.

Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported: Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) observed: “He who believes in Allah and the Last Day should either utter good words or better keep silent; and he who believes in Allah and the Last Day should treat his neighbor with kindness; and he who believes in Allah and the Last Day should show hospitality to his guest” (Muslim).

Abu Hurayah also reported: Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: “None among you should prevent his neighbor from fixing a beam in his wall” (Muslim).

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Tolerance means to accept that people have different ideas, beliefs, values, and customs. It does not mean agreeing with those who differ from us, but simply allowing them the right to disagree. This tolerance must be at all levels: individual, groups, and states. Tolerance upholds human rights, pluralism (including cultural pluralism), and the rule of law. If everyone must think and act like us, there would be no human rights. The Qur’an says what means:

To every People have We appointed rites and ceremonies which they must follow, let them not then dispute with you on the matter, but do invite (them) to your Lord: for you are assuredly on the Right Way. If they do wrangle with you, say, “God knows best what it is you are doing. God will judge between you on the Day of Judgment concerning the matters in which you differ”

Surah Al-Hajj (The Pigrimage), 22:67-69

Tolerance of others means we must not defile or destroy non-Muslim places of worship, nor may we forbid or disturb non-Muslim rituals. And, of course, it means that we expect the same treatment from non-Muslims. Furthermore, we should allow non-Muslims to enter our mosques (except Al-Haram in Makkah) for legitimate reasons-to do repair work, to learn about Islam, to drink water-as long as they dress modestly and do not bring in anything to defile them.

Muslims are commanded to improve the societies they live in, to enjoin the good and forbid the wrong.

We should dialogue with non-Muslims, particularly People of the Book, in order to understand each other better, with focus on what we share. In no way should such dialogue lead us to concede anything of our religion or deny any aspects of Islam. But by forming closed enclaves and refusing to interact and dialogue with non-Muslims, we remain strange to others and are more likely to become victims of prejudice. We should also work with non-Muslims to oppose injustice, promiscuity, homosexuality, abortion, and other ills of modern society. (See Domains of Muslim-Christian Cooperation.)

We Muslims are commanded to improve the societies we live in, to enjoin the good and forbid the wrong. It’s not enough to do that just among ourselves. We have to be an active part of our societies, not only to gain our own rights, but to see that right and justice prevail. We should not hide our Islam but carry it proudly like a torch everywhere we go and let others know that we are guided by its principles. Our participation in society does not have to take the form of political involvement-for those who are still “squeamish” on the subject. It might be an active role in the Parent-Teachers Association or volunteer work in any number of areas. The important thing is to work with the non-Muslims around us to improve society (and to try to gradually shape it to our standards).

When end-of-the-year holidays come around, many Muslims ask whether they can celebrate with or give gifts to their non-Muslim colleagues, friends, or family. Some ask whether they can even say “Merry Christmas!” or “Happy Hanukah!” to others. Well, of course we can wish them a happy holiday.

As long as alcohol and other forbidden items are not served, as long as there are no expressly un-Islamic activities, as long as the celebration is secular and not religious, there is nothing wrong in joining in. These holidays are important for uniting families, and as long as nothing un-Islamic takes place, we can join our families or friends for these festivities. (However, we must not celebrate these holidays on our own.) And if the family gathering does include haram (unlawful) food or activities, we can still visit our parents at another time-for example on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning-and give them gifts. After all, they are still our parents and still deserve love and respect, provided that they don’t fight us for our Islam.

If we change our attitude towards “the others” and learn to think of them not only as non-Muslims but as fellow citizens and humans, we can take the first step to better understanding from both sides.

(written by the IslamOnline.net team)