ST:Do SG women expect too much?
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Guys looking for girls with quality of mindset should also start to train their heads. Up there, not down!
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Originally posted by CrabbyShaSha:
That is precisely the point! See? If the girl is not into the lust, she's more into the "material". So yea, it takes 2 hands to clap.
I think out of 10 only 1 or 2 girls are into lust. THe rest falls into the material category. -
Originally posted by CrabbyShaSha:
Guys looking for girls with quality of mindset should also start to train their heads. Up there, not down!
so true but most guys ain't like this.Typical concept of guys are, if they saw this girl who is pretty, slim and hot they will surely go for it.
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Hence i propose if you do not want a girl that falls under "material", the guys ought to appreciate the girls for their mere company and in turn the girls will do the same too. The lust can come much much later when both are ready together at the same time.
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Originally posted by CrabbyShaSha:
Hence i propose if you do not want a girl that falls under "material", the guys ought to appreciate the girls for their mere company and in turn the girls will do the same too. The lust can come much much later when both are ready together at the same time.
I'm sad to say not all girls think like u. Especially those who are quite pretty.Lust thing.. well can't b helped. But depends on individual.
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Share with you something that I've read:
Men often judge women by their looks and/or perceived suitability as a sex partner, rather than as a sensitive human being with a mind and feelings.That's why some Eastern religious traditions teach celibacy. It's not really about being pure... or turning all one's energies towards God. No, the true value of celibacy is that by giving up sex,one is more likely to see women purely as another human being like one's self, rather than as a sex objects. Thus, this is an educational discipline. Once the lesson is learned, celibacy offers no other real benefit, and in fact can turn desires into obsession and become dangerous instead.
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Originally posted by CrabbyShaSha:
Share with you something that I've read:
Men often judge women by their looks and/or perceived suitability as a sex partner, rather than as a sensitive human being with a mind and feelings.That's why some Eastern religious traditions teach celibacy. It's not really about being pure... or turning all one's energies towards God. No, the true value of celibacy is that by giving up sex,one is more likely to see women purely as another human being like one's self, rather than as a sex objects. Thus, this is an educational discipline. Once the lesson is learned, celibacy offers no other real benefit, and in fact can turn desires into obsession and become dangerous instead.
really depends on individual.. Some are really damn pervert while some controlled themselves.
U be the judge. Decide which man is the one and which is not.
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I seriously think that to achieve happiness between a couple, it's not just about materials and lust. At the time when you are at your lowest, it is only true acceptance and love that will help tide things over.
Look how many unhappy rich tai tais are there! And how many men even after getting hold of the most beautiful women around are still dissatisfied with their relationship? There is no mutual exchange of heart!
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ya i guess more singaporean females are increasing their expectation of how much the men should pay.
the solution for men, look for those non materialistics type of singaporean women. Many of them are taken but there is always some left.
Its still best to marry singaporean woman i think because they are really not that bad actually. Just avoid those rotten apples with foul characters.
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kinda hard to find true love now.. especially this society.
Xmm will look for handsome guy and blabla..
Teenage adult will look for money, and looks.
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Originally posted by angel7030:
In a femine world, we gals like to be dated by guys, however dating is alway misintrepreted by guys as something successful, to us, it is only an invitation, and when u invite someone, do u expect that someone to foot the bills or rather treat him/her as your guest who is good enough in accepting your invitation.However, in my experience, local guys expected bigger return in dating, to them, it like an investment, a return of being their steady gf, care for them, love them and even sex with them. And when they failed in their investment, they go lame, depressed and start blaming we local gals as not up to mark or up to their expectation.
This lead to nothing but neverending sarcastic remarks and comments on papers and net, hitting at our own daughters, mothers, sisters and me.
haha dont be spoilt please. and dont generalise. that's immature
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This is seriously a societal problem. Women getting more materialistic while men are not the least bashful at all for their sexual acquisition. (Ref latest HK scandal; taking pictures involving sexual acts is already a common practice, even if it is for private glory) We are all digging our own graveyard unknowingly.
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Originally posted by oreotree:
haha dont be spoilt please. and dont generalise. that's immature
she's getting the wrong idea now -
Originally posted by ordinaryguy32:
The differences between men and women, SG or not, have always created tension between the two gender, but precisely because of the differences, the two gender attract one another.
Girls like suave, sensitive and thoughtful yet macho men, and guys like sweet, adoring, pretty girls.
Totally nothing wrong with that.
The two gender are never equal, and will never be. Guys should accept that, who wants girls behaving like men anyway? Feminists who advocate for gender equality, probably will like certain things excluded, and i have no issue with that, but then some guys will disagree.
Guys who hate girls who insist on being heard and respected, but lust after them anyway, cannot win. A change of attitude is recommended.
Girls who find many guys too ungentlemanly and insensitive, just have to look elsewhere. No complaints about that either.
Originally posted by MS:Many of you fail to realize the importance of a relationship and kept going after each others throat to justify the relationship worth. The relationship between a man and a woman is sacred. It is the union of 2 different genders from different blood.
The man and woman will leave their own family to form their own cell. With this new union, these 2 persons share their possessions, burdens, feelings, bodies & talents. When the time of adversity strikes, the two will react as one to defend each other and keep each other afloat. When the time of delight comes, both must share the luxury within themselves. When one falls down, the other will go and assist the other up. This is when couples stick together even when one is on prolong illness which can potentially drain the couple’s finance. Therefore no matter how bad the situation is, the couple will stay knitted together.
If anyone need the other half to be attractive or rich, then how shallow can they go. For when the time of adversity comes, you will be jettisoned off the raft selfishly.
I have had my own fair share of being looked down upon during my army days. And how people changes their attitude when seen with my current achievements. These are not people whom you should bother. For a relationship has never and will never become a transaction.
I agree with Ordinaryguy32 and MS.
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Looks like the men are complaining over money.
Now guys, you wanna talk about money, let's talk about money.
Have you ever considered a woman's perspective when it come to dating and paying ?
Here's WHY men needs to pay when they date a girl.
Now, I reckon those who complain about money issue are guys who are students/NS/Just starting work, meaning no/little income/allowance and struggling to save money.
So guys your age will likely be dating girls around this age group too.
Now, if you are poor, what makes you think girls your age group are rich ?
What makes you think girls has an easier time earning or saving money ?
OK. Now, if you are trying to date a single girl who is of decent quality. Chances are, you're not the ONLY one trying to date her out.
So, if everytime a guy date her out and she has to pay for herself or pay for the bill, she'd likely be broke or bankrupt before she hits 25.
You really think girls don't incurr cost when she dates ? Makeup are not cheap, girls clothings are not cheap like men, and you can't expect the girl to wear the SAME clothes everytime she goes out with you.
Perfumes/grooming accessories are expensive ok ? Ladies shoes don't last as long as guys, it will wear out faster.
ALL ARE COSTS.
If she's not financially more able than you, wouldn't she be able to save more money by just REJECTING YOU AND STAY HOME ?
So guys, if you want to jio a girl out, you need to pay, else what other incentive she gets other than spend more money to go out with you ?
Worst, you want to impress her and bring her to Jack's and you expect her to pay her share ? C'mon, she's better off at home, because she don't need to eat COW to make her happy.
You wanna bring her to a hawker center ? Sure.. but wouldn't it be better she stays home and eat healthy home cook food and save the money too?
THINK.
Guys, there's no such thing as a free lunch.
Unless you have ABSOLUTELY no intention to get ANYTHING out of dating a girl , then you should make it clear to her, she will make you her ETERNAL friend. Is this REALLY what you want ? Don't bull ok ?
A friend who ask a friend out, usually pays for themselves.
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This is my 2 cents worth.
As Singaporean Women in are get independent and more educated, there is no wrong for Women to have more expectations.
Lets put this into a situation, Will you just go to hawker centre to eat ,if you are able to afford a dinner in restaurant.
In reality, If you have a choice to choose for a better option, will you choose the less appealing instead of appealing one?
This is whats going on with most of the singles population in singapore, not only women have increased their expectation. Men too also have increased their expectation, however they do not have the chance to express themselves compared to women. Especially in Asia.
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Unbelievable,a ST article which was biased/sensationalized/over-hyped with facts which were used to over-generalized actually created 19 pgs for this topic!
Kudos to the reporter who wrote this.
However i personally feel that opening or holding doors or breaking doors for pple(not only girls) is a gentlemanly act. Wait a minute,maybe not breaking doors,but paying the bill for the FIRST date is a definite must. But im totally against men carrying their gf's handbag(as in he carry and she's empty-handed and they both happily walking along the street those type). If hold handbag for her while she go toilet,still acceptable.
I mean there's a reason y a handbag is called a handbag. The only reason y a man shd carry a woman's handbag is if it weighs like10kg? then it shouldnt even be called a handbag in the first place.
For the guys who blame the girls for leeching on them,i guess the only way is to smarten up.If you dont give them the chance,how will they leech on you? Like wat previous forumites said,think with ur correct head.
For girls who like leeching on guys,there's karma.
I think the most relevant point in the article was abt the comment from a psychologist which said if the 3 qualities were the most important criteria for a relationship,then the human race is doomed! Aha..now dats food for thought...
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JUs b gay..
=)
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how about man-bags ?
Just treat the girl with respect and treat her the way a gentlemen does , but not to the extent of taken for granted. If she demands more , then its up to the individual person to whether to take it to the next level , or drop the bag on her foot. I think guys should give as much care and love. But if they dont want it , i will just drop the bag on her foot.
I think those that have problems with girls.. either no money , or the girl too money minded.
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Originally posted by Catknight:
At least a prostitute is upfront what she wants money for sex...
Not hide behind a veil of hypocripsy about love and sacrifice but actually wants a long term first class SIA meal ticket that most men can't afford...so who's worse?
I wonder if the guys are upfront that they want their money for sex as well? -
Instead of wailing the girls' expectation is too high, why not we guys raise our expectation? Make yourself look MORE like Daniel Wu, Wang LeeHong, etc... don't tell me just be yourself... if so, u better off not having a gf.
Once u got the power, you are in the position of choice. U get to choose the gals u date and not the other way round. Those who dun go for ur look and simply bo chap u kind, could be ur potential future mate. Y? U want ur wife always talk about ur look one?
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haha.
good for nuthin.
no $$$ stil wan kaobei canot get dis canot get dat.
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I believe that everyone have different expectation in relationship but always hope for better one if given a choice. But most of all are being comfortable and respect.
Don't be biase, many guys have lots of expectation on the women too. Women here has to be a good lover, understanding wife, friend for the husband, a good mother for their children, a filial daugther in law, a worker in a company, etc. DO you think it is easy to be a women in so many role? If we failed either one, the husband has reason to stray and fine China women or visit Batam.
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note: ... find China women or visit Batam..
I'm not here to upset Chinese or Indonesian women here because I'm an Indonesia Chinese myself. Just showing example.
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bt sumtimes, the husband no nit reason to stray leh.