This is going to be long, please bear with me.

It all started a few years ago, when my mother’s younger brother(my uncle) ran into financial difficulty following losses in soccer betting. He approached my parents for a loan and to help him apply for a credit card under my dad’s name. The money amounted to 10k. My dad was reluctant initially but my mom persuaded him to, they were siblings after all, she felt she had to help.

Along the years my mother brought up the issue of payment to him several times, only to be replied with, “i’ll pay you back when i have the money”. He didnt pay back. His false claims of having no money was accompanied by his extravagant spending. Every new year, his daughters would have the latest handphones and mp3s, branded clothes and all. In addition, his daughter boasted that she had a cash-online card given to her by her dad. My mom would ask him “you said you had no money but there you are, living such an extravagant lifestyle, giving ur daughter a debit card, he replied,”my money, none of your business”(wo de qian bu guan ni de shi).

Fast forward to this year, my parents are having financial difficulties themselves. Their business is not doing well and my father owes the bank money. They would always quarrel and we had to sell the car and send the maid home. Because of this my mother has tried to asked him about the money, he would get irritated and aggressive over the phone, saying that even if he had the money he wouldnt pay her back. He believed that my family was well to do and it was our obligation to give him the money. Our families have not met for the past 2 chinese new year. My mom would give red packets to her sister to pass it to his kids. He has never once rejected the red packets, gladly taking it, with no red packets given by him whatsoever.

I’ve seen my mother crying alone in the living room on countless occassions, crying over the loss of a brother and over what she thought initially was a well meaning gesture to help her brother tide over trouble times, has instead serve to distance them to the point of losing their family ties. My dad on the other hand does not want to contact him, saying that he is resigned to never seeing the money again. As the eldest son, i feel helpless seeing my parents struggle to make a living, my mom’s a fruit shop operator, and my dad is getting on with his years. They have to scrimp and save to put their kids through school. I’m 19 this year. And i want to help them get the money back. I plan to head over to my uncle’s place one night(havent been there in like 5-6years) and have a talk with him. I know this is not right, as a chinese saying goes, “let the adults handle the matter, kids shouldnt interfere”. I have thought about going over and beating the shit out of him but its not right, hes my elder after all. I want to go over without my parents knowledge and have a amicable talk with him, explaining my parent’s situation. And hoping that he would have a conscience and return the money. I would love to hear your feedbacks on this. Thanks for taking the time to read this. If you are familiar with the law, and there are any avenues to claim it back. please tell me.

got any IOU? otherwiselaw also no use.

cant do anything now for you except to go get a job and supt urself and then cover part of ur household bills. at least ur mum wud be glad that u can do that.

for me i would go get a lawyer to write an IOU if im going to loan any amount abv 5k. if its lesser thn 5k and tht bugger doesnt pay up, then too bad, they would never get to hear from me ever again and there goes our friendship/family ties

Cannot get back one trust me .

My uncle also like ur fuked up . But mine more fuked up took more then 20k away from my parents say borrow but until now also havent return . Worst thing is on the day my grandparents died he took away most of the stuff that my grandparents left behind . Even the gold ring that my mom bought for my grandparents when she just started her first job . And wat did he do with the ring ? He pawned it away . PCB one .

So after my grandparents died we didn`t visit them for like 2 years . But i guess times heals all wound or maybe my mom is too soft hearted. We started visiting them last year .

Now my parents still employing him under their company . Cause after all still brother how to sack him . Thats why every chinese new year i show no respect to him . He talk to me i either fuk care or insult him . Like for example : why u marry such an ugly wife . Cause my aunt really damn ugly . Then he`ll just laugh and act as if i`m joking .

Greetings, TS

Please check your mailbox in sg forum - I have provided you my personal contacts for you to reach me at.

I'm sorry to hear this, and even more sorry to tell you this.....

.......you probably just heard the last of your 10k.

Honestly, there's precious little I can help.

Ur Uncle also dun bother about ur parent, u think he will bother about u?

Let him die with his extravagant lifestyle. Tell ur parents not to borrow anything to him anymore.

Give him a one-month ultimatium,failing that lure him to JB and kill him

I seriously think that there is nothing you can do.

My divorced dad used to borrow money from me, small amounts but adds up to quite abit...

always promises me to return but never did.

I was always in dilema, if i should ask for the money, since he is my father... but he never showed any signs of wanting to return, even when i hinted.

The only thing i did was to say " no money " when he asked.

But recently still loan him.. his family outside no money like poor thing...

tan qian shang gan qing..

did  your uncle sign any agreement with your parents.

If there is,you can first have a good talk with him and negotiate, it things turn nasty then... Go to court

knn.

pu bor kia.

ur uncle is my ex-frd si boh.

you bought pig's head already ? ...

can approach those "debt recovery services" also ....

i hate to say this again

in this world everyone cheat one another

i also kena cheated before leh

owned money dun return to me

so now me smart liao

when they borrow money, they can say all sorts of nice things but when ask to return money, they are like vapourise from Earth.

lock his neighbours' doors .. blow up A2 size of his face and post all over his block

bro, you will have my support all the way man. i hope in your talk you will be able to make as much sense as you do here, and for your uncle to see the truth

you need to find a party of AIDS victims and ex-leprosy sufferers to walk beside your uncle everytime he steps out of house to hound him to return.

jkjk...

Actually the rubbish above... Read about it a few years ago that got 1 company doing it for banks... in some other country...

the money is canot get back liao

however do what you can in your power to improve the situation, study hard and get a good job to reduce your parents burden,thats your duty as for now

dun anyhow confront your uncle,left it to your parents,they will be more upset if they know u confronted them (if u know what i mean) ...

Originally posted by SiMiLaiEh*:

the money is canot get back liao

however do what you can in your power to improve the situation, study hard and get a good job to reduce your parents burden,thats your duty as for now

dun anyhow confront your uncle,left it to your parents,they will be more upset if they know u confronted them (if u know what i mean) ...

i thought about it all day, told myself such things can happen in any family. I had a talk with my dad also. He told me to let it go, consider it paying money to know a person's character. And also to consider my mother's feelings, you guys are right. The most important person to me in this entire fiasco is my mother. I'll do whatever i can to give her a good life in future. I'm not going to look him up already. I've decided. I've lost all respect i have for him. not just as an uncle but as a human being. Hope our paths never cross again in future. *The only silver lining to emerge from this would be my extra motivation in the gym to get bigger so as to whoop his pathetic ass. Hes quite a fit guy

Originally posted by val.:

i thought about it all day, told myself such things can happen in any family. I had a talk with my dad also. He told me to let it go, consider it paying money to know a person's character. And also to consider my mother's feelings, you guys are right. The most important person to me in this entire fiasco is my mother. I'll do whatever i can to give her a good life in future. I'm not going to look him up already. I've decided. I've lost all respect i have for him. not just as an uncle but as a human being. Hope our paths never cross again in future. *The only silver lining to emerge from this would be my extra motivation in the gym to get bigger so as to whoop his pathetic ass. Hes quite a fit guy

Hi Val,

I think you should not just give up, but I don't blame you, you and your family are probably not well versed in the skills of debt collection.

There are many 'professional' debt collectors out there who are more skilled in this area. They are better at negotiating, and persuading people to do the right thing and pay up.

Try to find these people to help you. It is usually no result no charge, so if they get the money back, you just pay them with a bit of it.

(ref: http://www.asiaone.com/News/The%2BStraits%2BTimes/Story/A1Story20080411-59222.html)

Have similar situation too... But instead of 'taking advantage' of my family, he just avoids my mum's call and when my mum reaches him, he'll give excuses coz HE REALLY HAVE NO $$$... Every year when i go to his hse, I feel sympathetic towards him... He is really poor...

For you uncle, when he took the money, was there any kind of contract? If no then you have nothing to hold up in court...

He may have his day now, but KARMA shall hit him when he is not looking...

Anyways, what was your parents thinking lending $10,000 to him... If it was me, I'll just lend him $10... Well, knowing he's a gambler...

you can't really make a police report because there wasnt any legal signings or whatnot. Maybe you can talk to him and tell him what your family is going through. I'm sure if he cares for his sister, like how your mom cared for him, he will pay back. Ask him to pay back in installments like amybe 1K a month or 500 a month? All the best~.

give him a stone cold stunner...