TS is asking on behalf on her good friend I suppose…And is unable to fathom the fact that her friend’s bf is not dollar-smart while there is someone who is ‘financially stable’ after her skirt.

And asked for forumer’s vote on what should be her choice or what will be our choice if we are TS’s friend?

TS: Your choice is already clear from the words you put across, so why still ask for other’s opinion??? You are supposed to be her friend and you cannot even offer a good advice and had to broadcast your friend’s plight to the whole of sgforumers for vote.

As you are 3rd party relating your friend’s plight, I cannot help but feel you are biased in your account of the story.

Originally posted by parn:

Really??? THEN You should share with all what are the things you referred to as "things that guys in a relationship should take intiative in". At least TS would be able to benefit from it.

But of course it boils down to who likes who first and who went after who first. In some occasions, the girl went after the guy, then it is most likely that the girl will ended up having to keep the fire burning in the relationship if the guy is only making use of her.

Most of the time, it was the guy who went after the girl, and in TS's case, he went after his girlfriend. So he have to keep the fire burning if he wants his relationship to survive.

If most guys have this imagination that getting the girl is the ending part of the courtship game, then they are terribly mistaken and will be in for a shock to find out that it is actually the beginning of an even harder game called MAINTAIN. Guys who think like this usually have very little experience in relationship or none at all.

Have you ever had a relationship before? And how long does it last?

IF there are really real girls in this forums, then they should be able to understand TS's girlfriend from her perspective and why she has to allow TS to know that she is comparing TS with her EX.

Is it because TS is no longer sweet, loving, romantic, caring, attentive, unconditional anymore to her compared to the time he was going after her?

OR

Is it because TS is just an inexperienced guy who is also selfish in nature like many forumers but managed to hide it during the courtship period and ended up giving his girlfriend all the wrong impression of the real person he still is?

 

It is not selfish to state that it is still the guy's responsiblities to take care of the fire burning in the relationship. Afterall, nothing is fair in this world and life. People are born into different lives and destined to live differently from others. To demand fairness would be a terrible sin to life itself.

To end it really quick, if guys demanded fairness in the relationship, then the girls should also be SMART enough to demand fairness and be the girlfriend of a WEALTHIER, MORE HARDWORKING, BETTER-LOOKING and NOT THIRD-WORLD UGLY guy.  

 

First thing first, looking at the title of this thread...I believe that everyone here who visits this thread have something to offer to TS...That is why we posted our advice in hope that TS can can analyze the situation in more angles...I believe as matured adults, most if not all of us have gone through the hates and loves in lives. And is able to offer some useful advice to TS.

So..by asking my experiences in relationship...You are implying that anybody who replies to threads in sgforums have to state their experiences/education background/occupation in order to be credible in what they say??? OR is it because that anybody who differs from your narrow point of view has to do that??? Sorry to say, this thread belongs to TS and not you...Therefore, you are only entitled to what you have to offer in this thread and basically you have nothing to offer..sad to say. (Maybe you can start the ball rolling by letting everyone here know about your past relationships or lack of. Instead of keep throwing the ball into other's court)

To add on, you are making alot of baseless assumptions("If most guys", "If there are", "Is it because") And you even made assumptions on TS's character. Do you know TS in person or spoke to him in private on this? If not, please stop plucking feathers out of thin air...

In simple words. I am unable to accept your advice if I am TS, even if it is reverse psycology to ask TS to reflect on his own actions that 'causes the breakup'??? 

Nextly, I did not mention anything about fairness in life but I said about equal responsibilities in a relationship...

Hope the flames end here...And TS can find helpful advises from other contributors so far.

Originally posted by parn:

How long have you been taking her for granted? Like living and making your relationship with her into a DAILY ROUTINE?

What you think you have done for her in your mind/heart may not be what you have REALLY achieved together with her in your relationship.

Taking care the fire burning in the relationship is your duty as the guy in the relationship, and you should not have noticed it only when the fire is gone and the relationship is cold.

Maybe this is the lesson that you need to learn it through the hard way.

So do you know what you need to do?

To Parn: There are things that guys in a relationship should take intiative in. But maintaining a relationship(albeit "Taking care the fire burning)  is both persons' responsibility. Thats selfish of you to even think of that! 

Different people have different expectations of a relationship. So it really takes time and effort to find out what is the expectations of one another. And TS is carrying a time bomb in this relationship and it blown when the girl says she still 'prefer' her ex??? So I guess TS did not even have enough time.

To TS: From what you put across to me in this thread, I assume you are below 20 year old...So its really an age where passion mostly comes first before any long-term commitment.  

After saying that, just enjoy this time of your lifetime and do not fret over this relationship for too long. There is a long road ahead with so much possibilities.

Originally posted by Beautiful951:

Well, first thing is that she is still thinking about her ex-boyfriend. She was not more considerate. By dragging up her ex-boyfriend in front of you, well, you would not pull up any exes to hide behind right?

I feel quite sure that she was not sure of her feelings for you when she agreed to a relationship with you. Thats why she cannot tell you how she could choose about her ex and you.

I'm sure that you have done your best.

 

Agree with Beautiful951 on the girl's commitment to you. 

Its natural to feel sad when a relationship ends. To 3rd parties, we can only just listen(read in this case) and empathise with what you have gone through...We do not know even 50% of the story(i.e. 50% your side; 50% her side).

From what you've said about the reason that she broke off with you because she still cannot get over her ex, its quite clear that you love her but she loved herself more. Just straighten yourself and move on.

Will you still accept her if she comes back to you one day and says she has decided to be with you? Do you want to take the risk again?

I seldom and rarely watch local TVs nowadays and prefer watching starhub. But I cannot help but notice so many beauty related programs taking up prime time slots during the weekends.(i.e Yun Nam, London weight management, new york skin solutions blah blah and god knows many others that I cannot remember or don't even bother to take note) evolving nowadays.

What is quality TV channels nowadays?? Our national TV is turning into Ad TV or a channel for goverment agencies to impart 'joys of child-bearing' programs hosted by 'Chen Liyun'...

I would like to send my deepest consolation to people who still do not subscribe to paid TV now due to whatever reasons they have...

After having supper with a friend along a coffeeshop in South Bridge Road about 10.15pm last night, I decided to take a cab home. I crossed the road to Cross Street as there are people waiting on both sides of South Bridge Road, not mentioning the taxi stand outside the Indian Temple which have a small queue. I waited along Cross Street for 30 minutes but still cannot managed to flag a cab. With people streaming out of the pubs along Club Street in groups and standing ahead of me within 10 meters and faking that they cannot see me adds flame to my frustration as I was tired after a long day and wants to get home for an early rest.

During this 30 minutes, I notice several cabs with 'blue light' on the car roof indicating available but with 'On Call' plate on the windscreen passing by. This really makes me wonder if the taxi drivers are taking advantage of the cab booking system to earn the extra dollar through phone booking. In the end, I walked to the entrance of a condominium along Club Street and flagged a cab that just dropped off a resident there. By then, its alrealdy 11pm.

I know that its the long wait for taxi that fueled me to write here, but I know I am not the only person out there who faces this frustration. I know those people who works in the CBD area, who can only get cab by booking when they finish work as they will almost never be able to flag a cab off the street during the period of 6.30pm-8pm.

Why are we at mercy of our own public transport system? Might as well make it a flat rate for flagging on the road and booking(excluding advance booking) but increase the starting meter to say $3. So taxi drivers do not play hide and seek just to earn that extra dollar through phone booking system. What if a tourist would be to wait for cab for a long time and they do not know the phone booking number?

Rant end.

Tharman's head very shiny, can reflect light from ceiling...

Our government seems to be overly obsessed with numbers. With the current population number, Singaporeans are already gasping for air to breathe and fighting for space. I can't really imagine a proposed additional 2 million increase in population in the next 15 years.

I do agree that aging population will pose problems in the near future being a major concern(i.e. the decrease of working force, defense force, nationwide healthcare and infrastructure etc.). By allowing the influx of foreign talents/workers into Singapore, will not solve the problem but will also create other social problems which are aleady slowly surfacing now. This is not a computer game of 'Sim City' where everything is about numbers, increase tax when no $$ so that can build more buildings to attract more people to come to work/play/study and stay, so that to collect more tax. I believe there are other ways that has been discussed in other forum topics to solve the population problem but it takes time but our government seems to prefer short-cut ways.

Hail to more horrific traffic jams. Hail for more stress and competition. Hail for even more crowded public transport. Hail for the jostling for walking space in shopping centres. Hail for longer queues for food during lunch hours. The lists shall go on....

Are Singaporeans just numbers that generate $$$ to the government? I hope the government will stop playing 'Sim Singapore'.

Originally posted by LifeIsWonderful:

if you ask me, i rather see these measures in place than having a real disaster happen, i don't think singapore is ready for such a disaster. these measures serve not really to us, it's also for the people who wanna do "something", think twice about it. some have been caught before they could act, with these measures in place, i think it might not remove 100% certainty of catching terrorists, but it would increase the percentage, which i think is worth it.

I agree on the part that some form of measures must be done to educate the general public on counter-terrorism but there must be a limit to it. I personally don't want to see the same video or some new train bombing video on the overhead display 1 year down the road from now or keep hearing the "If you find suspicious package, please call 999" on the PA system in 4 languages.

I find the removal of dustbins in MRT stations especially inconvenient not only to commuters but also to cleaners that has to clean after errant litterbugs because there is no dustbins. You can remove one possibility but you can't possibily remove the remaining possibility of other 1001 ways of terrorism.

When there is a train disaster(touchwood), to know how to react and the ability and willingness to react is another. I agree with you that most Singaporeans including me are not ready for disasters such as train bombing but there is no 100% way to curb this form of terrorism except maybe to enforce security checks to check bags of every commuter BEFORE boarding the train which is not practical as you can imagine the delay that will be caused during morning/evening rush hours and weekends in MRT stations like City hall and Orchard. Even the recent installation of CCTV on trains will only aid in identifying the bomb suspect AFTER the bombing itself and not preventing it to happen.

So my point is implementing half-hatched measures that will not solve the root of the problem and in turn translate into higher costs for commuters is just as good as doing nothing about it. I find all these measures are only cosmetic and doing for the sake of doing something.

The question in this case is: Is doing something better than doing nothing at all?

This is not related to the original thread.

I find it amusing when I see the "Life is Precious, Act Responsibly" signboard on the train tracks of overhead stations(Jurong East, Clementi etc.). I mean if people really want to suicide by jumping onto the train tracks, will they reconsider after reading that signboard or even take a second to consider other methods of suicide?

My point is why do things for the sake of doing even though it does not remedy the situation.

I usually travel on the EW line but recently took the NE line from Outram Park to Chinatown to walk the CNY market. While waiting for the train to arrive, I watched a video clip depicting a youngster leaving a bag in a train and later detonating it via a cellphone and also scenes of various train bombing incidents from other countries(India etc.). I asked my friends who are taking NE line frequently and they said that this video has been ongoing for quite some time.

I personally found these videos disturbing to a certain extent as a local and I wonder how it feels like to be a tourist viewing all these videos of violent and so-called supposed to be 'educational' to the public. I understand that the public must be educated to be vigilant in case of terrorist acts but I believe that these can be done at a more confined level of national education in schools or even national service. With the TV already showing homemade counter-terrorism shows on channel 5(i don't what is the name of the show). I think that the government/SMRT/SBS should downplay on its counter-terrorism education on its public transport system. Theres a limit and everything after that turns to irritation, like the PA system telling people to call 999 if they find suspicious packages in 4 languages.

As not only Singporeans take public transport, tourists also take them. If i am a tourist visiting Singapore and taking the NEL, I will think that Singapore is under a siege or in a high military alert state. As a tourist(or even commuter), I rather prefer to look at information on how to get to places and maybe some advertisements on places of interest/shopping which are near MRT stations.

Sorry for the long post. Just my 2 cents of thoughts.