Originally posted by blu_sky:

You know why this thread is so dead as compared to your previous thread? Cos there is no controversy. The truth, is just so blatantly out there.

And argue if you might, i dare say that, the 2 threads are talking about the same girl and the same man.

x files?
truth is out there?
please explain
same girl and same man? im confused.
Im asking a simple question

Originally posted by Zarks:

erm ya.. true also. my ex looks very innocent but shes the one who grip me hand , put my hand to her breast then she opned up her shirt..All by her own, i never do anything..

but they went for a getaway to somewhere alone once, and nothing like that happen , this only happen recently

Originally posted by Zarks:

erm ya.. true also. my ex looks very innocent but shes the one who grip me hand , put my hand to her breast then she opned up her shirt..All by her own, i never do anything..

wow, really?

Originally posted by Zarks:

ask ur fren to do it .. .One nite stand... doesnt matter what ?.. then leave her..

Life is great whn u do that

thats horrible

Originally posted by blu_sky:

Believe what you want to believe then. For no matter how many people tell you what they think, and what those people say, only thing you will believe is in what you want to believe. If it is delusion you are in, you will continue to stay there, for that is where you choose to be.

You are just asking for validation.

im sorry
still dont understand. Trying to help out my buddy now in his situation, what delusion and what validation?

Originally posted by cApitaland:

swingers?!

I think the girl is interested in him period. EVEN in this day and age kissing on the cheek neck hugging etc. is way too much for platonic friends.

i think so too

Originally posted by blu_sky:

What do you think it is?

Be true to yourself.

?
be true to myself?
sorry i dont understand this part.
Personally , i felt its more of signs of affection rather than seduction.

Originally posted by blu_sky:

Originally posted by blu_sky:

taking the kiss away... hmmm... the constant resting of body against body? that is really a message you know. It shows the girl does not think much about body contact i think. May be she is really liberal sort who doesnt think much about intimacy.

Age and background play a big part. Last i heard from a friend (she is mid-20s), [color=orange]ons or even 3some is not such a big deal among the youngsters these days. I was stunned, speechless for at least 5 minutes. But of cos, my friend is in the PR line, such industries are always more liberal than my kind.[/color]

i have some friends they are in 30-40 and they indulge in such activities too, unbelieveable it may be , sometimes the older they are the more wild they become.

Originally posted by blu_sky:

taking the kiss away... hmmm... the constant resting of body against body? that is really a message you know. It shows the girl does not think much about body contact i think. May be she is really liberal sort who doesnt think much about intimacy.

Age and background play a big part. Last i heard from a friend (she is mid-20s), ons or even 3some is not such a big deal among the youngsters these days. I was stunned, speechless for at least 5 minutes. But of cos, my friend is in the PR line, such industries are always more liberal than my kind.

why age plays a big part?

Originally posted by blu_sky:

Female perspective? i will never rest my body on a male friend's (let alone all the time) nor will i ever kiss a male friend's neck! Unless i want to throw myself at him, seduce him and dont mind portraying the image of being easy.

so you are saying that she is trying to seduce him?

Originally posted by zeny:

Thats is where you are wrong.

Studies have shown that normal gals do not have sex at all will be more in need than gals who have been doing it more often.

that means she is asking for sex rather than relationship?would that be the view from a male perspective?
how about from the female perspective?

Originally posted by blu_sky:

Cosmopolitan? i think not. i dont think it is normal/platonic to kiss someone on the neck unless it is done with an intention to sexually arouse or hint that some one or lead the person on. Neither is it normal/platonic to rest one's body constantly on another's (unless the person is very sick).

Anyway, how old are both of them? why dont your friend just find out more rather than sitting there thinking alone, since he is interested in her. Be a man, the lady is already throwing herself at him (literally), does he really expect the lady to verbalise her intention?

"hey man, want to be my man"

or more crudely

"hey man, want to go to bed"

Pun intended.

take away the kissing , what do you think now?
does age matters, well both of them are young , of course he is older but the main point is the norms of the current society now, what is the message being projected to him.

Originally posted by Zarks:

Hey, can i replaced your buddy.. if i were your buddy, i will sleep with her. Seriously, cuz that gal is a ONS type..

are you sure its ons?it maybe she is just feeling affectionate towards him..maybe warm and fuzzy thats all

Originally posted by Zarks:

NORMAL GAL WONT BE THAT HORNY !

okay, take away the kissing on the neck part, is the rest of the behavoir just plain simple flirting and thats it?
not really that big of deal in today society isnt it? I mean he might not want to read too much into it

Originally posted by euc:

That girl is delusional.
Tell your friend to run as far as he can.

what do you mean?
what if my friend is interested in her too?

My good buddy is facing this situation, he know this girl, but he is confused somewhat perplexed

1. girl goes out with him , always arm in arm, initiative by her, started by may i hold your hand?
2. when alone always resting her body against him, back to front sometimes front to front, inevitably a hugging position
3. constantly touching or prompting him to touch her face hands or pulling his hand to touch her not sexually though
4. farewell and greeting is always a kiss on the cheek or sometimes neck and a tight hug,

what signals is this?
is she cosmopolitan or is this the age of a new generation or he is old fashioned , he is confused by the signals

what do you think?

Originally posted by fourfourtwo8:

well , i agree , she certainly had helped me to make up my mind to move on!
i will take her views into consideration but i will take it easy too
we had a good dinner tonight, im starting to understand her more and see things from her perspective.

i would like to say thank you for all who contributed and certainly in some way helped me to reach a decision in regards to this question.

I believe this thread should be closed and i dont think i will be able to post anything more

Im happy with my decision and thank you

Originally posted by ordinaryguy32:

To girls, love is indeed a game of proving.
If we guys don't do it right, we simply don't measure up, from the girls' point of view.

It's hard for guys to understand a girl's psyche.

And I feel the whole discussion about retaining items belonging to a past relationship can be generalized to the different ways men and women view relationships.

Everyone (make that every gender) has a right to feel the way he/she feels, but if you want to really score with the opposite sex, you need to understand the other party's psyche.

4428, I think jojobeach has invaluable points there that totally applies to ur present r/s.

well , i agree , she certainly had helped me to make up my mind to move on!
i will take her views into consideration but i will take it easy too
we had a good dinner tonight, im starting to understand her more and see things from her perspective.

Originally posted by ladie:

To go for it or not? That really depends on what you looking for in a relationship.

If you are looking for some good time (to waste some time) and plenty of excitement and freshness, i'll say of course, go for it!

But if you are saying you are not so young and you looking for THE ONE, i'll say you already know the answer.

Just a question, what happened between you and your ex?

what happened? Timing was not good and certain affairs are not in order and we broke up.
I was still pining for her until i meet the new lady in my life. She is certainly helping me to erase the thought of the past.

Originally posted by jojobeach:

Love is indeed a game of proving.
What is the point of loving someone yet not show it ?
We are mere mortals.. we cannot read each other's mind.
If you don't put your love into actions.. how would the other party know ??

Memories can be kept inside your heart.... you don't need to constantly remind your new partner of your past.. do you ?

Children are a different ballgame altogether.
A divorce with children is never a divorce.

I think we are deviating from the main subject and since i decided to go for her and not letting go of my memories of my past, i told her about my ex but i guess that is it , nothing more to tell her.likewise if she tell me about her past i will listen because her past is a clue to her present and future, what she likes or dislikes of her past bf is a good indication where and how i can improve or be better for her.

Originally posted by jojobeach:

Ah yes.. a procrastinator.
Good thing...

Keep your old memories... in your head.

Memories.. fade with time.. as new ones replace the old.
Almost an automatic process.....if you allow it.

Material things don't go poof until you move em.

When it is time, you will want to remove those items...you hold so true to your heart.... time to really let go.
You will need to revisit those memories again, as you hold one in your hands.. each time.. going back to those moments......

If you are unwilling to do it for yourself.. do it for her...( not your ex)

You can promise her anything... but a woman needs to see it done... to be truly convinced.

is love a game of proving?
Do you need to show clear proof to your current that you are over the previous?
Isnt not talking about her sufficient enough?
Instead of proving you are over your ex why dont we work on reinforcing or cultivating a more loving relationship with your present?
Is it a sin to keep memories of a person that you loved before?
It is a sin to revisit the memories and smile sometimes when certain things or objects remind you of the good times you had with your ex rather than revisit the bad times?

Originally posted by jojobeach:

You don't have to throw em out. Just keep em out of sight.

The past is the past.. why do you want to keep things that keeps reminding you of the past ?

Will you naturally throw away items like... furnitures both of you bought together ? A beautiful painting that she ( the ex) picked from the streets of Rome ?
A picture of a happy couple smiling in the sunset, framed in crystal ?

No, you need to purposely make those things dissapear from your sight.
Put them in the deepest corner of your storage if it is too painful for you to see them trashed.

I was in her shoes .... it wasn't very nice to have to see those "memories" of my love's past with another woman. It was infact... painful.......

I wished.. everyday... everytime I see them... that he would willingly put them away....

Well.. ofcourse that day didn't come ... for a long time....
Until..
We went for couple communication course.
During one of the session.. a couple confessed they argue over the fate of their coffee table. It was a gift from his ex....and he refused to give it away.. because to him.. it was just a piece of furniture. To the gf, it has the link to his past.

The guy got booed.. by other female participants... turns out... many couples faces the same problem.. even married ones...
The married one.. sold the old house.. and donated all the old furnitures... because his new wife couldn't stand living in his past.
The whole time.. he kept quiet.. listening in horror..

Needless to say.. my dear partner went back and threw all his old albums and gave away that nice piece of crystal art...bye bye past....hello future !

i think it is rather silly and ridiculous to throw away all his old albums. Couldnt he just simply put it away?Very radical actions not very asian type to do this , the other party actions to sell the house and donate all the old furnitures,
so if you have a child and you remarried , do you cut contact with her? give up all custody of her because she is the biggest reminder of your past.

Originally posted by BadzMaro:

Water it well. i like that . Carefully grooming the bonsai tree. The results... mmmm..

Anyways, lol.. all the best!

=)
when you say carefully grooming the bonsai tree, i was thinking about something else

Originally posted by BadzMaro:

Bottom line is that u are over , then perhaps you should re-inforce yourself out here in the forum with a positive outlook about ur new relationship.

cheers.

i am!
but at the same time i want to take it slow
water it well
anyway we are going off for a shopping trip soon, it will be fun and good way of getting to know each other better..creating some new beautiful memories

Originally posted by ordinaryguy32:

She's suggesting you're paying lip service in terms of promise to your new gf.

That, you are telling her u are letting the past go, but telling us it may never be done...

im not paying lip service, im definitely over my old gf...no matter what happen im so over her..