posting in to lessen my sadness hopefully. don't like to talk to people so i thought i just type here to feel better.

coz of my breakup with my ex gf whom i really love so much but due to lots of misunderstandings between us, we broke up 3 weeks before my exams! and now i am really struggling with ALL my papers. no mood to study at all. and i got a paper later on at 10am. :( just hope to pass and hopefully pick myself up to do much better next year. i already know i failed one paper but it's my own fault because i didnt study for it at all. i just prefer to spend my time in the outside world amongst living souls rather than in a library or at home and re-thinking about the past. :(

yunhaier..thanks for the wonderful piece of advise u wrote. i too love reading your postings.

wahsehwahseh: yeah u are right. must level up always. i level up 3 times oledi till the extent that i am now more relax about it. but still depressed. err... get wat i am trying to say? haha

midlusionz: ya i am gonna do that and reject her IF she ever comes back again.

Xavier1979: yup shame on me.. i really feel the shame becoz everyone asks me why i do gte back together despite so many breakup n problems. haha.. so yup..shame on me.. and i do feel the shame. but no more shame anymore. i am and will change all this.

xaih: yup.. really damn sianz to know that this person leaves u in the lurch unconsiously every time when u are at the most bottomw of the pit. some ppl just dun realise their actions UNTIL they experience it themselves and my ex gf is like tat. that's why i had so many probs with her. always had to show her that she is doing wrong by doing that wrong to her myself. maybe in a way i was stupid n wrong too. haha..

zarks: yeah i console myself by telling that thankfully we are not married. i can now only TRY to study to the best of my current situational ability. anyway thanks for all ur advises.

feeling so demoralised. depressed about my breakup with my 6 yr relationship. dunno why my gf now ex must always leave me at crucial times. last time i accident and while recovering within the first 2 months(still recovering after 2 yrs..coz major accident) she broke up saying that i was boring. now i having my exams next week and she broke up again with me about 2 weeks ago. feel like shit really. cant study at all. no mood. wanna enjoy but also worried about my exams. dunno why but she always seem to be leaving me when i need her the most. i am unable to move on also because my heart feels so heavy. really v depressed and i am already mentally prepared to repeat my yr. :( why is it that she always leaves me when i need her the most? i just cant bring myself to accept her again if ever she comes back :(

Originally posted by couch^potato:

me also from tp leh..
btw.. i seen a no of bikers thruout my stay at tp who very 'action' just cause they carry helmets. but then the no of these 'action' ppl now decreasing.. m i the only one notice this or is it all??

oh ya forgot to add.. me at electronics course.... year 2... anyone yr 2 also??

Originally posted by bosszx:

who's frm eng sch ?

me from eng.. speacilising in Electronics but i still dunno what i have been learning this past 2 years..

Originally posted by visual:

there are some girls who will screw u up, when they found someone better, and some girls who hang out with you cos they like to hang out with the friends u are with, and there are girls who like you for who u are...

how can u tell if she really love you? well if you found that solution, you'll be a genius... cos no one really knows what in a girls mind.. its too complex...

thats why we guys, got to simplify..

1) she like you (else she won't spend time with you, talk to you for nothing) got ppl chase her she still want u.. so (NO problem) 1-0 to you

2) Dont think about things like her ex, and how she has slept with other guys..thats will only screw up the nice thing u have (remember all this happen before she was with you which is in the past) its all in the past, so why do u want to question about the past? its over already, dont waste time arguing about things thta are int he past...
3) she says she leaves you if her mum disapprove you (but her mum already approve u) she says that to show u that Family alwasy comes first with her, altho not many girls these days gives a crap about their parent, this is a good sign... so one day if you get married (youll be her family) and family (thats means you) come first to anything else... good what..

dude.. i think this girl must be quite cheo... thats why u very worried she will leave you...

instead of screwing up everything and pissing her off with your insecurity and distrusting question, be nice to her, please her, buy flowers, losten to her, be considerate, be a gentleman when she is areound, never take advantage of her...and she will confirm be yours..

you see having a girl is a prvilage not a right... cos with out a girl.. life;s pretty crappy, got good bike also feel so sad and f**king lonely if no girl..

treasure what u have... give her 100%, have faith in love... if she leaves you then nvrmnd lah.. what to do.. suffer for 2 month, but you get the experience, try again with another girl...

be a man ...k.

hey bro.. thanks for ur advises and strong encouraging words. today she sms me while working say that her gd fren msged her saying that relationship will sour after 2 yrs etc. then my gal msged me after hearing her fren's words and said that she is afraid that the same thing might happen to us. then after work i rush down to her place and talk to her lah. we had a chat and things turn out fine again. i dunno y but she keeps getting worried about whatever happens to her fren. worried that it might happen to her as well. anyway, we always haf a straightforward talk when we are sad or argue etc.
so went down to her place and had a gd long chat with her lah. now i feel very gd after telling her all that i was pissed about her etc. stuff like she always wanna go disco etc which i dun like. so we came to a compromise that she wont go to disco and i wont mention abt betting nor have anythign to do with it.
btw.. i find her very pretty(coz she is my love u know!! hehe) but in other's eyes, she may not be the same as what i see her. in reality she does have her own shortcomings feature wise.. as in face got pimples lah etc. but then i duno y she attract guys like magnet. one thing true is that she dresses up very well i feel.
there was once i didnt even know if i should go after this gal. then my fren encouraged me u know!! he encourage and gave me lotsa hope so after 'get' her i actually brought them out for dinner one day to meet each other. GUess wat! my fren actually ask her y she choose me lah blah blah behind my back!! wtf man!!! then he kept mumbling nonsense when i around and start to turn hostile liek as if he wanna show his 'man-ness' to impress my gal. he so disrespectfully call the auntie to clean up the table lah blah blah. my gal n i were so pissed with his attitude! to think i took some points for that idiot when he beat the traffic light! wat an ingrate!
then everytime he calls me (which is rare nowadays except he needs help) he will always end of with this... " hey sumei and u still together huh?"
Really regret knowing this kinda ingrates man.

and yes i pamper my gal a lot. i give her many surprises which she likes. but she has a bad temper which might be the main problem. anyway once again thanking u for ur reply!

Originally posted by Yunhaier:

Erm... just to side track a little - next time if you want to post essay, remember to do it in paragraph... difficult to read in a chunk, but well, you still get your message across me.

Who hasn't a past? You knew it deep inside that she 'WAS' a lian and lian knew little about love until they live out of it - not speaking from my preception, rather from friends that I knew. She discover nature of men and to make things worst, the company she has - bengs, people who approach her, etc, behind the mask they wear, she would see them like glass - their hidden motive. Since you knew that she was a lian, had such a past (your feelings and action continues) AND It didn't stop you from liking her, therefore you can't complain about her past because you CHOOSE to accept it subconsciously. She ask you out, you could reject her - but you didn't, therefore you wanted somewhere within yourself.

She chose you - because you are (or seemed) DIFFERENT from those who attempt to woo her, because if you feel the same, she wouldn't even fall for you. I assume that both of you weren't together yet - actions speaks louder than words: READ the sign.

By the way, Love don't cost a shit - so what if people has the money? The feeling you give to her is richer than money could subsitute.

Let me ask you one frank question for you to reflect: Are you hesistating because she is not a virgin and just using the mum non-existence problem to excuse yourself? If you are telling me that her mum strongly reject you being her bf, then thats another story - but has this fear surface? No!

Deep within you, you know she loves and the same for you. Your heart is subdued, just that your mind is experience equity problem -when you love someone - it goes beyond just what you will get *from* her, rather what you can *give* to her. You said if love someone can get her go - you are totally right, but the big question is that HAS she GIVEN YOU up for ANOTHER GUY? No!

You feel sad that she has lost her virginity - that is her past and you do not have any contact with her past - you can't do a thing - therefore you shouldn't even get bother. Think about this: if you were to met her prior before that jerk came into her life: things may be very much different.

Ask you another question: You love her? Or love that piece of membrane?

You can find another girl who is a virgin - you can never find another person who that same feeling. She has told you about her sad past: it is YOUR PRIVILEGE, not your right. Since it's a privilege and she trusted you to know: Do not mis-abuse this. Everyone has that lame past - but if they were to learn and grow from it, it may not be a bad thing. Think about this, if she hasn't gone through such situation, she most likely may not even like you and may still be with that other guy.

Love is to accept: if you can't - you forgo all the beautiful thing it could give to your life in exchange for your self-absorbed thoughts that will get you nowhere. You have a choice now: give it up and you could lose it forever. Hope I don't have to see another topic done by you about this issue.

Prays

hi there! thanks for ur views man. it has been very encouraging and i appreciate that. i guess like wat u say, she gave me that privilege and i should not abuse it and instead be thankful that i did not find it out myself. hehe.. anyway i really love her alot. i doubt i will leave her just because of this issue anyway. thanks!!

thanks for all ur replies bros and sisters… learn to appreciate her even more after all ur postings…

aiya.. at least ur gal loyal to u n tell u all this stuff man. dun worry. irc is liek this full of crap one. liek what the rest say, most ppl come irc to find make frenz.. but got bad eggs also wann asex..haha.. those bad eggs are those who fail in life etc.

oh ya.. another thing is that she has stopped me from gambling etc. she has also sacrificed her love for karaoke etc. she knows i dislikes her to go out at night so she tries her best to stay at home. anyway i m very confused lah. i just wanna know what u ppl feel only. watever u all say rite, i will just take it in my stride but STILL CONTINUE MY RELATIONSHIP WITH HEr coz what i feel at the moment is that she loves me as well..
my purpose in starting this thread is just to get all ur opinions. so no worries bro!! just keep them coming. i wont be angry or anythign. just wanna knwo all ur views!!
thanks!!

u say that i went after her only after she nudged me. maybe i did not make myself clear. i am the shy type. i have never ever went after a gal or declared that i like her etc. anyway i didnt like anyone until i met this gal. i feared rejection thats why didnt go after her. scare wait she didnt like me. she gave me very obvious hints but still i didnt ask her coz i very scared to get rejected. some more we both study in same class. it will be very awkward. but i really hope that i can spend my life with her. she stays over at my house time to time. she also always liek to bring me to furniture stores and dream about our future house. hehe..

Originally posted by Unity:

Erm when u said 'humble opinions' did u realy mean it?

of course i mean it lah.. just speak ur minds... i m open to all suggestions...

hi to all. need ur advises.
i haf a gf. all her past 10+ bfs' didnt work out for her. tt time she was an ah lian and anyhow have bf for the sake of having one. the last bf she had was the one she really loved as from what she told me. the guy apparently 'slept' with her as well so taking away her virginity. after breaking up, she was very very depressed. it took her 2 long years before getting into another relationship which is with ME! Many many guys went after her this 2 years but she chose me even though i did not chase her. i just liked her n i didnt even show it to her. we just hanged out together with my other frenz and it seems that she liked me as well so she kinda like 'forced' me to go after her. i m not the type who goes after gals as i m a car n bike fanatic. hehe.. so one day i told her i liked her and my love was reciprocated. i started sending her home but she won't let me be seen together with her in front of her neighbours etc as she say tt they are all very kaypoh and she didnt want her mum to find out. she said that she will tell her mum in due time. then one day she showed me to her mum and her mum also accepted me. then after that nowadays we hang out very intimately even in her neighbourhood. in fact she always holds my hands in public.i get along fine with her family very well except the father to whom i have not been introduced yet. this will be some time later, not now. she goes out with me ad holds my hands etc. sh even took a cab in the middle of the night to come over to my place when i was feeling very down. MY PROBLEM is that i always ask her this qn--> " what if ur mum rejects me one day?" then she will say that if her mum rejects me then she will leave me as well.. then she says her mum will not reject me lah blah blah. i dunno if she really love me or wat.. any ideaS?? but then rite, when we are together we are very intimate etc. she always sends me sms-es etc to show that she cares for me. we talk EVERYTHING out from head to tail when we have a problem. but i dunno why, when i am alone or sad etc i will ponder over the fact that she lost her virginity not to me. i feel so insecure knowing that so many guys are after her. she has assured me that she wont choose them.. else she would have done that long ago instead of choosing me. Engineers etc after her but she chose me, a poor guy. haha.. how ironic.
so i just wanna know does this gal really love me or wat? i feel she loves me really but then... i dunno why she says she can simply leave me if her mum objects?? if u love someone u can just let go like that is it??
thanks for reading and i hope non-nonsensical replies will be posted. thanks alot!!

me also from tp leh..
btw.. i seen a no of bikers thruout my stay at tp who very 'action' just cause they carry helmets. but then the no of these 'action' ppl now decreasing.. m i the only one notice this or is it all??