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Dear all,
OK, today is april fools' day but my demise is definitely not a joke.
I was called in by my manager & the first thing he told me that the job is nt suitable for me. (I am in sales/office). He even added on to tell me that I shld resign & find another job.
I was pretty shocked by this sudden announcement. Actually, before this, I requested to him to change job scope & even hinted the HR I wanted to resign last month, so I started sending out resumes but because it took a week or two to fulfil my resignation period so I gave up & decided to give a try on my job again.
So I tried & ya, this announcement came..wow. & best thing, is that they hired the person already & I wasn't even known until today to pass on my duties. And also, I told him if I do not want to resign, he can still ask the HR where shld I be allocate to.
*Sigh* I am taking my O levels AGAIN (yes, I took it 3 times previously but I didn't turn up for it) But this time, the O levels is all full subjects. But I need the job to upkeep my pocket money so this thing is a blow to me in someway..I mean, I wasn't prepared but wow..my dad would hit my to death if he ever finds out I was gotten rid of.
But even if I dun resign, I dun even know what job scope are they giving it to me. Another thing is that, I lack the confidence to find another job as I am a natural slurrer & I got scared slightly.
Tell me what shld I do before I fall into depression
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Hi,
It's not that I do not want to retake O's. But I felt really wasted, wasting time doing things that I don't like, that's why I start going out to work. Besides, i want to pursue my own hobby instead. But you see, I am waayy too different from the others. So yes, there is always a big disparity between others & myself. For example, I find facial piercings a good way to accentuate an appearance, but I know most of them would brush it off as 'wild' or 'nonsensical' or even, 'ugly'.
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Today is just another CNY, i'm glad i'm back home after receiving ang paos from my relatives. I have to admit I can't stand them. They just either show off or show fake sympathy if you are not up to par with them.
That's another case altogether...but what i'm upset about is that, I can't seemed to click with anybody no matter how much I try to smile at them & all. They just treat me like , "Oh, I am just an introvert, looks quiet...it's ok, if you talk, we all will be shocked!" Maybe because I had a bad childhood so most of them knew abt it & maybe last time I wasn't really that .. how to say...awaken or mature or even know what I was doing. Because of that, I only had an O levels because I didn't knew the importance of studying & now...even if I would to take up other courses, it will be futile, because JC & a branded uni is of no match to the majority.
Also, I have not been attached all my life & I yearn for a partner to take care of me & me giving him all my heart. But it seems impossible as I couldn't click with anybody that I tried to be friendly with.
It's either they hate the way I talk (Which I think so, cause I slur a lot or talks very lamely) or I looked uneasy, maybe because of my bad childhood that shaped my deportment of today?
I am 20 years coming to 21 & I would like to desperately get back my social life. It's really sad I am living in a shallow world where people that succeeds gets the most choice.
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I am new at work..like a few weeks only, not even one month. A few days ago, there came a new girl & I thought she was fine & talkative so I thought, "nvm, I can talk to her, it's ok"
Only then, I realised during my mentor's farewell party, she tried to put me down in front of everybody. Maybe because I am an introvert? Or is she trying to gain some points with the others, I dunno. Anyways, I thought she might let me off but she is just finding some opportunity to pester me, not much opportunity for her though because she's new & she also doesn't know a lot of things.
Morever, she's speaks alright in front of me but when in front of HR or managers, she will start to blab abt almost anything..wow, what a change & she seems to be alone & coming alone from lunch even though she is slated with my other talkative colleagues too...& just now, she even tried to embarrass me just because I chosen to go to a 1pm slot during lunch with my other colleagues instead, still trying to show off in front of the manager.
Anyways, I did something quite unexpected of me just now, is I threw something at her & laugh it off as an accident. I even asked her to help me clear my rubbish. Though she seemed somewhat didn't notice I am trying to bully her or maybe she's trying to brush it off, I felt really angry after that 1 pm slot incident as I now realised she's trying to use me as her stepping stone since she's an extrovert or talk too much.
I don't whether shld I do something drastic tomorrow, because right now, I feel like smacking her hard in the face.
Please give your serious comments thank you.
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