The art of carrying an arguement
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Arguing can be an emotionally draining experience, so we need to be careful in how we prepare and engage in argument. This is not so much a guide on how to win arguments; it is more a guide on when to argue and how to conduct an argument.
Don’t insist on having the last word.
Focus on getting your argument across effectively and coherently; when you have adequately explained your position don’t feel a necessity to keep repeating yourself. There are some people who will never want to admit defeat; no matter what you say they will want to keep arguing. There are occasions when you just need to let people have the last word; having the last word does not mean you have won the argument.
Silence can be a very powerful Argument
Foolish people will want to pick arguments over inconsequential things. Great thinkers and innovators are often criticised, only because people are suspicious of new things. If these pioneers stopped to argue with all the self styled critics, the evolution of the world would have been a lot slower. This is the art of knowing when to argue and when to remain silent. If you have faith in an idea or vision, don’t stop to have meaningless arguments. Often great people aren’t appreciated until they are dead; but, truly great people don’t create a lasting legacy through engaging in arguments with critics. Alas, this would mean an opportunity for the opponent appeal to silence
Pick the Right Argument to have
You could spend all day finding reasons to argue with other people. But, if we are honest, arguments rarely have much benefit. An argument should be seen as the last alternative; only argue where it would compromise some significant principle. If possible try to find a way to suggest ideas in a non confrontational way. If we need to challenge someone’s opinion’s there may be better ways of doing this than a head-on argument.
Remain detached
Arguments can be emotionally draining. This is because we identify with the argument so much we feel either personal victory or personal defeat. However, a better strategy is to separate your self from the argument. If the argument goes badly, no harm. If people don’t accept your argument, no harm. Also, don’t expect to change people’s opinions with your arguments; unless a person is very open minded or undecided they are unlikely to change their opinion.
You don’t have to Win
This is related to the idea of maintaining silence. It is important to remember that the point of arguments are not just to glorify your ego. A good argument is about the interchanging of ideas. If you maintain an open mind, you can learn from the arguments of others and moderate your opinions. This is not a sign of weakness, the whole point of argument is to gain greater insight and evolve your ideas. The problem is that our ego often becomes attached to an argument; therefore, it feels reluctant to admit any weakness in our argument. Therefore, we continue to maintain a false idea out of pride; this is a mistake.
Have a clear Knowledge of What you are arguing about
This may sound like stating the obvious; but, from observation of others, we find to our dismay that many of the most fervent arguments are often based on here-say and misleading facts. If you are going to stick your neck out and argue, make sure you know what you are talking about. Before arguing with others, take the time to do some primary research; don’t just go on the gossip and rumours of others.
Stick to Facts – Avoid emotional exaggeration.
A good argument is one that involves a calm, logical exposition of the facts. A bad argument will descend into adding personal insults and appealing to cheap emotional responses. Let the facts speak for themselves – don’t feel the necessity of adding emotional indignation. Avoid personalising arguments. The personal foibles of the other person are not relevant to an argument on politics / work.
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There would be times when one would feel that it is intimidatingly tiring to hold/ continue an argument or felt an irrational urge to buy a concept/ product/ idea and wondered why afterwards. Please view the below youtube links to find out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1N3TROA8MYY&feature=player_embedded
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z71w-rHkeSk&feature=player_embedded
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmRCpqO_1JA&feature=player_embeddedAnd then there is the fallacy fallacy where one calls out fallacy to improperly reject an argument or excuse the burden of proof.
I consciously try to avoid fallacities unless I'm actually selling something
and to extend the applications of fallacious techniques could very well make me less fortune. Once one understand the various fallacities and be able to name them, it would save a lot of unnecessary trolling. Somehow sgf have evolve into a niche forum with a rather closed nitted community and their discussions serious to a certain extent. This would be a good time to try my skills in thread making, as well as sharing and discussing the implications and applications of various fallacies.
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Good points. I applaud your effort in trying to bring some semblence of order to the exchange of opinions, however, this is Sgforums. An online forum with anonymous users.
Maybe in a few years time things will change for the better. People actually grow up. Or maybe in a few years time, you will gradually realise why is Sgforums the way it is.
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Thanks for the encouraging words, Badz. I do feel that the long time users here hang around more of sentimental than anything. Not much incentive here to attract new users too. How sgf evolve may very well reflect how the communities work in Singapore. I digressed...
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I don't argue with idiots, they bring me down to their level, and beat me by experience.
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i know fart got a few types - dry and wet. suaully happy eating people fart loud and smeelly - but it makes the act happy too.
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And another point is never argue with trolls, like BIC?
People like these are here to make fun of you, not engaging people in discussion or debate
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Nice thread. Why don't you kick start a philosophy forum some sort? Might be a good way to start.
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Btw, Stanford offers free online courses. Model /Mathematical Thinking might interest you.
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And I don't mean to be pedantic about this but your thread title contains spelling error.
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Wow... did not expect so many of positive responses... Had already geared up for some form of flame fest...
Thanks for representing the mature part of this community.@sol,
A good suggestion, just... sounds too serious a topic for me. I was thinking more of a topic to inject a culture of sound argument code and the magnanimity to reach a point of compromise to agree to disagree. Sometimes people would fail to see their error in reasoning, in all truthfulness.SUP! Free courses! Thanks for the link!
Yeah... I was trying to fix it... login problems... Realized only owners of forum could do that...
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No problem. I'm sure there are lurkers around here hoping for a much needed change.
Where do you intend to apply these argument techniques?
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Being a lone whistle blower on fallacies has brought bad reputation and a unwanted label of acting smart. I would rather feign stupidity than suffer unsolicited remarks on my ignorance...
I find philosophical musings of people and its discussions interesting, be it religion, beliefs, science, politics, love, etc... Its when people gets emotional and steer from addressing valid points that frustrate the meaningfulness such arguments and discussions.
I wouldn't call it argument techniques, it is more of identifying possible illogical fallacies and allow the opponent to correct their argument. Through practice and engagement, one would be less reliant on fallacies instead, to propose a better and sound arguments. I would like to inject such culture on participants of "serious" discussions.
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38 Ways to Win an Argument from Arthur Schopenhauer's The Art of Controversy : http://www.xtremespeaking.com/resources.html
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I can see who practices that art form of argument... No wonder it feels so draining...
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i don't argue with anyboday.
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tok kock more like it
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when mouth doesnt cut it in an arguement, use your hands...
When i am in an arguement, i dun call it an arguement, i call it a debate
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Sometimes "charisma" are better than argument or even violence : http://askolivia.com